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Thread: Am i a jerk.

  1. #1

    Default Am i a jerk.

    So I just had to rate the performance of my team members on my group project, as did every one else on my team. There is one guy, who is a super cool, nice guy, fun to be around, but really didn't do crap when it came to actually getting anything done on the project. He tried for a little while (he was the 'project manager' position which really has obscure roles) but he really didn't do a good job at that, never scheduled a group meeting out of class, we had to do that on our own, also the organization was awful. That much though i can be understanding if it looks like he is still actually trying, but the other thing is, he missed a ton of class. He basically just was there for the ride.

    I ended up voting a 2/5 on him, and then put 2-3/5 (I don't know which one the teacher picked) because i was feeling guilty because i still think he is a cool guy, he just was busy with other crap, but also never really put in much effort to at least keep in contact with us and do anything management wise. Now i can't help but feel like a jerk, because all i'm doing is negatively affecting this guys grade, that is probably already bad.

    I feel like i threw him under the bus.

  2. #2


    It's pretty rare to be a jerk for being honest, although a peer review grade scheme is going to always be a bit stupid for exactly the kind of problems you're talking about. Imo, you did nothing wrong and giving him a fair evaluation is long-term the right thing to do. That said, if you could go back and do it again, it probably would be better to let the guy know that you want him to pitch in during the project, and if he's not being a leader and you want his help, you can tell him what he should be doing. That way nobody gets screwed at the end and everyone contributes.

  3. #3


    No I don't think you're a jerk. If someone doesn't pull his weight he deserves what comes to him. You said he missed a lot of classes and didn't do his fait share, so I think you did the right thing. If the scores are not anonymous and he confronts you about it, tell him how you feel. He just might agree with you and maybe have an explanation as to his failure to be an active participant like maybe he is having a personal problem. I would try and not to worry about it.

  4. #4


    That's not being a jerk, it's just you acknowledging that he's incompetent at doing group work.

  5. #5


    I hated group projects in school. There was always that perfectly nice classmate who didn't do squat when it came to the project. Don't beat yourself up; you did the right thing.

    Teachers who assign group projects are often part of the problem too. I can recall one project in college where we had three essential roles and four team members. Inevitably, somebody was going to perceive themselves to be redundant and end up slacking off. And that person wasn't me! When it came time to rate our teammates, I didn't hold back. I wrote a short essay explaining how this guy did next to nothing, and how he was dead weight that the rest of us had to work hard to drag along. I never knew what he got for a grade, but he changed majors the next semester, and I found out from a mutual friend that he'd been contemplating that change for some time. Nice of him to bless us with his last gasp of mediocrity! Sheesh.

    Fortunately, at least in my industry, bosses tend to see through this stuff a bit better than my college professors ever did, and people seem to stay sharp. In the 15 years since I graduated, I have yet to be stuck on a project with somebody who I felt just flat-out sucked and/or didn't care.
    Last edited by Cottontail; 11-Apr-2014 at 14:09.

  6. #6


    Sometimes don't the right thing is a thankless job. You aren't a jerk. You did what was right, and what was right is sometimes not happy.

    You are are not a jerk because of the very reason you posted this thread. Because you are a caring enough person to feel bad about doing the right thing. You obviously care about him and think he's a decent guy. It doesn't change that you stuck to your morals and did what you had to do. You are pretty much the opposite of a jerk, you amazing person you.

  7. #7


    Your assessment of him sounds more than fair. You weighed all the variables concerning his behaviour and the impact it has had on the team. Your evaluation was free of any bias or vendetta against him, and you obviously had a really, REALLY had a hard time saying anything negative about him.

    Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to tell the truth.

    You are giving this person an opportunity to learn. That's what education is all about. If you allowed him to coast by on this project, he would just continue behaving this way until someone else busted him. He may not see it this way, but you're actually helping him by holding him accountable for his actions.

  8. #8


    Thanks everyone for your replies, Its nice to have some group support. It sounds silly to need support on that, but I'm extremely self conscious on trying to not get on people's bad side. I end up thinking about this kind of stuff too much.

  9. #9


    Welcome to the real world, that college assignment is a preparation for workplace practice. A better question than; are you a jerk for being honest? is what did he have to say about his teammates when he answered the same question? If he was not totally honest with his answer, he was....with deliberation....taking credit for work that you performed.

    In the cut and thrust world of the workplace, non performers are constantly weeded out and dismissed, this is to keep production standards up. If you had to carry him because of his legitimate issues, so be it. If his goal in life is to be a parasitic passenger in any team effort he engages, I think you have carried him long enough. You need to toughen up, what your personable friend seemingly is playing at is the most insidious form of bullying encountered the workplace.

  10. #10


    HI Tyger.

    NO you did not do anything wrong. This was the part of Management that I hated. Yes he is cool and nice and that was not the topic. Evaluations are based on performance and if they do not cooperate or participate then they are not doing there job.

    I had several people that I gave people what they earned and then I was the one that was wrong. It is a thankless job, and trust me it gets worse. I had to fire a friend once, but I liked him and he was a good worker, when he showed up, and that was the issue. SO there is times when one has to differentiate between friendship and accountability.

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