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Thread: AB/DL Lifestyle Help/Advice

  1. #1

    Talking AB/DL Lifestyle Help/Advice

    Like many reading this im sure... I get frustrated with the whole Binge-Purge cycle of ABism.

    I LOVE Musical theatre and singing and the whole being on stage thing. I love socializing and living life to the full. My future career venture is one of great importance to me and i DO NOT want ABism to be ANY part of it.

    It Feels Natural and right and ok.... BUT i Also Know its NOT Right or "Normal" - As society sees it..... Im struggling with all this

    I have been a TB and Now AB for about 10 years now and all the time i have struggled to come to terms with it all... trying to understand why?....and trying to quit but to no avail.

    Its not like it takes over my life at all but i do think about it... and end up giving in to temptation and wear nappies and us baby things like bibs, dummies, Bottles etc now and again. Sometimes near 24/7 when i can.... and if i have gotten rid and thrown it all away..... The temptation grows and all caves in and i buy more. :-(

    I Guess what im looking for here is
    advice?
    ideas on quitting?
    How YOU cope with the Binge-purge cycle?
    What you do?
    Experiences?

    I know im not alone but im guessing im looking for reassurance and help.....?

    ANYTHING......:-/ *Sigh*


    Stay Happy in your Nappy...
    or
    Hyper in your Diaper

  2. #2

    Default

    I've never fallen victim to the binge-purge cycle, but I'm unsure it solves anything long-term. Essentially, you're looking for a way to "turn off" your AB tendencies, and I don't believe a way exists. You may throw everything away, but you'll be buying more sooner or later. The simplest - and most economical - solution is to keep what you have hidden away somewhere for when you want it back.

    What you can control - at least, I think most of us can control it - is the "public exposure" challenge. In my view, if you tell one person, you've told the world ... no matter how trustworthy, the person you tell gains effective control of your secret and may find it so disturbing that not telling others doesn't seem a viable option.

    My point is this: What you do when you're alone hurts no one, yourself included. There's no genuine need to bring the baby side of your personality onto the stage with you. Collecting and using baby things is your affair entirely; sharing it with the world is the point at which you begin to experience difficulty. I realize that's not the reassurance you were seeking, but I imagine it's the only valid reassurance any of us can offer.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Baby23
    Stay Happy in your Nappy...
    or
    Hyper in your Diaper
    cool rhyme

    I've tried to quit, when I was a kb. It didn't work.. I was mad at myself, but used diapers time to time when I was a young tb then finally accepted it wasn't going to go away.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Baby23 View Post
    I get frustrated with the whole Binge-Purge cycle of ABism.
    Hello and hopefully I can help you with this issue.



    I LOVE Musical theatre and singing and the whole being on stage thing. I love socializing and living life to the full. My future career venture is one of great importance to me and i DO NOT want ABism to be ANY part of it.
    So I see that you understand the different sides of this issue.



    It Feels Natural and right and ok.... BUT i Also Know its NOT Right or "Normal" - As society sees it..... Im struggling with all this
    Ok here is the first thing. If it feels natural then its OK. You are not doing anything wrong, and you are not hurting anybody. As for normal, according to who?



    I have been a TB and Now AB for about 10 years now and all the time i have struggled to come to terms with it all... trying to understand why?....and trying to quit but to no avail.

    Its not like it takes over my life at all but i do think about it... and end up giving in to temptation and wear nappies and us baby things like bibs, dummies, Bottles etc now and again. Sometimes near 24/7 when i can.... and if i have gotten rid and thrown it all away..... The temptation grows and all caves in and i buy more. :-(
    This is all normal feelings and this is why the site is here.



    I Guess what im looking for here is advice?
    This is what I will attempt to do by answering the other questions.



    ideas on quitting?
    Save your time and money it will not happen.



    How YOU cope with the Binge-purge cycle?
    This is the $64 question.
    By gaining understanding and self acceptance one is able to deal with the needs. Understanding the different between need and want is called control, and with control comes balance. From what you said earlier I think there is no issue between big real life time and little time.



    What you do?
    If you go back and read the treads you will see this issue discussed many times over.
    That is what I did 16 months ago and I read around 300 threads in both Adult baby and diaper talk.

    Like I said earlier from that I gained and understanding of the urges, wants and needs, binge and purge, etc.
    As I gained an understanding I was able to accept that this is not something I just decided to do but because of life events it was a subconscious coping mechanism that had developed over time.
    Once I accepted this part of me I learned how to control it.
    I was able to talk to my wife about it, and my therapist, and with there understanding I gained a balance of the whole situation.
    Boundaries where set by my wife and myself and things progressed from there.

    Over the last 15 months I have had ups and downs and I am much more capable of looking at the issue and deal with it. Therefore with self acceptance and understanding I stop the self loathing and the purge cycle came to a halt. I have still had strong urges, but as it was pointed out by people here (my new friends) I learned that the binge and purge cycle is replaced with ebbs an flows. So at times I can go several days with out even thinking about diapers and then there is times that it becomes a strong urge. But I am in control of the situation and I can look at the why I feel this way and see the stressors or issues that are making me need a coping mechanism and deal with it.



    Experiences?
    This is what you will gain with time.




    I know im not alone but im guessing im looking for reassurance and help.....?
    No you are anything but alone and that is why we are here. Hang in there and remember that we are here and we got your back.

    Covering your back side is up to you!

  5. #5

    Default

    I loved being a TB it was so exciting, nothing new really as I've pretty much always felt this way, it's just that when I reached that point where I realised this was not ok with the world and that I was probably some kind of freak, it made it all that more exciting ... the whole keeping it a secret.

    Later on it just started to become a concern for me ... Then I didn't really want it as part of my life...by then I knew I wasn't alone, but it just seemed creepy that older guys would do this but man I still loved it deep down and as much as I tried to push it away, it would just force it's way back.

    It especially bothered me when I got serious with my partner and we started living together, because I kept it hidden from her...that was tough.

    Honestly the best thing ever was my decision to embrace this part of me properly...I'm way happier now especially since sharing this with my partner about two years ago. She's pretty supportive... growing with it very slowly...but accepting and that's quite cool.

    I have to add that I'm still coming to terms with the balance thing. ... That's kinda awkward (see my other post - it can be counter productive at times)

    Any way there's my bit... Good luck.

  6. #6

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    I know what you feel, I really do. Even though is not something that controls my life as well.

    Sometimes when diapered I think to myself what I'm doing with my free time? Am I wasting my time? Because sometimes it feels like I am.

    I read something, I think it was on infantilism.org or the creator of that website but I don't know for sure, by someone discovering the root of his abdlism which was the absence of something or some emotionol need. That got me thinking that everytime I was in love or cared for someone or was invested in having a romantic relationship I couldn't care less about abdl stuff. Because those moments never lasted more than just some months I don't know if the abdl feelings would return, but this whole thing made me think that maybe I'm replacing a relationship with a girl that I love and that loves me with wearing diapers and regressing. That maybe that is the reason for me being abdl, the absence of a meaningful and long romantic relationship. I do think about giving up often but it was more often and intense in the past, now when I think about it I just stop wearing and pack my things until the next urge which usually comes within less than a week.

  7. #7

    Default

    Hey Baby23. I am sorry you are having a rough time right now. It seems like you are struggling with a disparity between "who you try to be" and "who you are".

    To feel better and live a happy life you are going to have to embrace who you are. By denying your ABism you are literally going to war with yourself. Society isn't right. It is just big and scary.

    I think Nazi occupation is a good analogy for society. When your country is weak you have no choice but to let the Nazis stroll in. That doesn't mean "rolling over". That means throwing rocks at the German officers when their backs are turned, smuggling the jews and allied troops out.

    My point is you don't necessarily have to all out 247 embrace your ABDL*ism, but you need to believe in your mind that society is messed up. You may not be in a position to re-write society, however you can still "throw rocks at the Nazis" and resist in small ways. Embrace your ABDL* in small ways at least.

    As my friend says "do you". Accept yourself and there will be no binge purge cycle. I did and my ABDL* mellowed out and became very consistent. Binges are a result of stifling yourself.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Baby23 View Post
    ideas on quitting?
    How YOU cope with the Binge-purge cycle?
    To be honest, these to statements are contradictions in my opinion.

    There isn't much that i can say otherwise that hasn't already been said, but the one thing i have learned is, if you want to stop your binging and purging, then you pretty much have to decide when it is ok for you to let your little side out and accept that it is a part of your life. In my opinion, that is the most stable way to go. Probably make sure that you give yourself enough time to let your little side out plus some, just so you know that regressing or diaper wearing is out of your system, and then go on. Then, as was stated, you will be saving some money by not throwing away your diapers all of the time.

    Otherwise you can binge and purge through your life, if you want to call that quitting you can, but essentially, having something enforced for that long and that early in your life has created some emotional and physical needs that probably will never go away, so it is going to come up at certain moments throughout your life, you might as well just schedule when those moments are going to be, it is way easier to control then.

    Also, just because actors have a lot of glamour, doesn't mean they don't have fetishes and what not, Miley Cyrus admitted to the public for having a bit of an adult baby fetish, nobody responded acceptingly, and they were all a little confused by it, but it hardly has stuck to her name, and the only reason people know is because she said so. She might not be as into it as you or I am, but she is into it either way. Just don't tell people if you are trying to keep up with the social standard.

    In my opinion, i think the social standard is bull, but it works for some people.

  9. #9

    Default

    If I may say something, I actually just got back from a 2 month purge, and posted a thread about it. Here is the aftermath:

    http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-to...ork-folks.html

    In all honesty, don't even start purging. What others have said before, it truly does not work. I had quite a stockpile saved up before "The Great Purge" which probably amounted to a few hundred dollars, all of which went into the garbage. I had to deal with suppressing the familiar AB/DL feelings and urges for that entire time-span, and ultimately it blew up in my face.

    I guess I don't really have any advice to give you on coping with the matter,the only thing I can say to you is to be extremely tedious and really think hard about your decision, if you make one. I quit "cold turkey" and you can see exactly how far I got.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Baby23 View Post
    Like many reading this im sure... I get frustrated with the whole Binge-Purge cycle of ABism.

    I LOVE Musical theatre and singing and the whole being on stage thing. I love socializing and living life to the full. My future career venture is one of great importance to me and i DO NOT want ABism to be ANY part of it.

    It Feels Natural and right and ok.... BUT i Also Know its NOT Right or "Normal" - As society sees it..... Im struggling with all this

    I have been a TB and Now AB for about 10 years now and all the time i have struggled to come to terms with it all... trying to understand why?....and trying to quit but to no avail.

    Its not like it takes over my life at all but i do think about it... and end up giving in to temptation and wear nappies and us baby things like bibs, dummies, Bottles etc now and again. Sometimes near 24/7 when i can.... and if i have gotten rid and thrown it all away..... The temptation grows and all caves in and i buy more. :-(

    I Guess what im looking for here is
    advice?
    ideas on quitting?
    How YOU cope with the Binge-purge cycle?
    What you do?
    Experiences?

    I know im not alone but im guessing im looking for reassurance and help.....?

    ANYTHING......:-/ *Sigh*


    Stay Happy in your Nappy...
    or
    Hyper in your Diaper
    Hey there,

    I get your frustrations. It has to be so angering to have one vision for your life, but have being an AB standing in the way. However, I'm not totally sure that being an AB, in and of itself, is a bad thing. It can be good or bad, depending on what you do with it.

    The first place to start is with the idea that "It's not right or normal". This seems like a natural thing to say, but here's the thing: Just because something's not normal, does that automatically mean it's not right? Sometimes it does. But in other cases, no. Many of the greatest people have been oddballs, and many of the things we hold dearest seemed odd or bizarre at one point (computers, modern medicine, cars, airplanes - all were mocked as being freakish at one point).

    I'm not going to claim ABDL is normal; clearly, it's unusual. But not right? I'd dispute that quite strongly. "Not right" implies that it's harming someone. And I don't think being an AB should be harming anyone. If you're not forcing it on others, you're not hurting anyone else. So I think the only way it could be "not right", if it's just you with your diapers, is if it's hurting your life.

    And i do feel bad, because I know it seems to be hindering your dreams of being on stage, and of being social. There is, however, one fact that needs to be considered. Fetishes are extremely hard to quit. Even if your ABism isn't a sexual fetish, emotional needs like this aren't easily let go. Very, very few people have ever successfully quit, and most of us have tried many times and failed. I'd say there's at least a 99.99% chance you'll always have the desire to be an AB.

    The answer, then, may not be to quit. Rather, it may be to accommodate your needs into your life.

    What I mean by this is to take stock of your life and what you want it to be. Think about what you want to do, and how you plan to get there. Then, ask yourself, "Where does being an AB fit into all this?" Obviously you don't want to go public with being an AB, but there are ways you can keep this private. I work a job where I don't want my AB side to be common knowledge, so I'm very careful about where I buy supplies from, and do everything in the privacy of my home, not involving others (besides my girlfriend, who's an AB herself and wants to be involved). Similarly, for you, think about what you need to do to satisfy your AB desires, and come up with a plan to do so safely. As long as it's within the law and within public decency, there's almost always a way to do it!

    The other thing to consider is limits. The hallmark of the binge-purge cycle is being drawn into long-term binges and then purging out of shame. I've found the only effective solution to be to put limits on your AB expression. Agree to only wear diapers on certain days, or for a limited amount of time. You'll find that knowing you'll be able to diaper up again will make it easier to wait for it. And quitting at the agreed-on time will mean you can put things away without being ashamed, throwing everything out, and damaging your feelings.

    Overall, I think being an AB can be healthy and happiness-bringing. It's compatible with almost any life, if you can find appropriate boundaries. But you're not bad for being an AB, and there's nothing harmful about it on its own. It depends on how you manage it. And if you need help with that, we've got lots of ideas.

    If you want to try and quit, then best of luck. But consider making it a safe, controlled part of your life, and seeing if that makes you happier instead.

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