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Thread: That need for a parent/caregiver

  1. #1

    Default That need for a parent/caregiver

    If there is anything that I have noticed about the AB/DL/LG community thus far is that the experience and lifestyle feels somewhat incomplete without a parent/caregiver. I've come to realize that it is truly a two-sided coin.

    As a little, I've recently come to feel that yearning for a caregiver, because I know that, even if I can talk to people who share my interests through my computer, there is no-one close by that can be my caregiver and NOT be freaked about it.

    To any other AB/DL/LG on here that has a parent/caregiver, did any of you also realize this and feel that need for someone to take care of you?

  2. #2

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    I think this is ultimately why a lot of ABs and Littles end up very sad or even depressed at times. A lot of us do have a need for a caregiver, and because of the rarity of our interests, it's often very difficult to find them. When you do have a caregiver, it is a very emotional experience. Sometimes it can even be a bit overwhelming emotionally, bringing me to the point of tears. It just feels so amazing to be loved and looked after in such a sweet way. Though it is beautiful to experience online, in text roleplay form, it's fantastic to experience it in real life. It feels like you don't have to have a care in the world, because for a couple of hours or so you have someone looking out for you and keeping you safe as can be from all the unpleasantries and dangers that the world can bring.

    My needs are pretty obvious ones. I came from an abusive household where love was in short supply, and very conditionally given. My need is probably ultimately seeking unconditional love. Being accepted while wearing diapers and acting like a toddler or young child is extremely close to unconditional love! In my case, because my boyfriend is my caregiver, I am even closer than those age playing with friends or with professional caregivers.

    Of course, I am also his caregiver. We happily share, both giving and taking in fairly equal amounts. I just want to say that being a caregiver also brings so many rewards on its own. Many of us shy away from caregiving because it seems so contradictory to what we want as ABs and/or Littles. We would be the adult; the sole responsible one. But I can tell you it's actually a very similar experience. You also receive what feels like unconditional love from your little one. He or she staring up at you sweetly with big eyes, depending on you for their every little need, is a fulfilling and deeply emotional experience. A wee one putting that much trust into you means so much. Being able to prove that trust was not a mistake, and watching them smile, giggle, or spin around in happy carefree circles is as beautiful as being the one to do it yourself.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frogsy View Post
    being a caregiver also brings so many rewards on its own. Many of us shy away from caregiving because it seems so contradictory to what we want as ABs and/or Littles. We would be the adult; the sole responsible one. But I can tell you it's actually a very similar experience. You also receive what feels like unconditional love from your little one. He or she staring up at you sweetly with big eyes, depending on you for their every little need, is a fulfilling and deeply emotional experience. A wee one putting that much trust into you means so much. Being able to prove that trust was not a mistake, and watching them smile, giggle, or spin around in happy carefree circles is as beautiful as being the one to do it yourself.
    That was worded really good, im literally speachless right now because thats exactly how it is

  4. #4

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    When I was looking after my brother when he was around toddler age, I had to make sure every one of his needs was taken care of. I practically bled myself white doing so, but it was all because I love and care for him with all my heart. Like Frogsy said, being a caregiver is a very rewarding and magical experience in the long run: It's one thing to play the part of a baby and plenty of aspects about it can bring us pleasure, but for a lot of us, nothing compares to even imagining being on the receiving end of your caregiver's love.

  5. #5

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    I think Frogsy pretty much hit it spot on because the whole point of being an AB/Little is to get back to a certain age and mindset where things are a lot more simple and all.But why are things more simple and what not at those ages the simple reason is because someone else is in charge of everything going on including you and to be a AB/Little to me means you'll eventually crave someone to look after you.I'm just thankful I have a boyfriend who is my caregiver ^_^

  6. #6

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    I think Frogsy has it nailed, and further more children need a support growing up and when that is not present it can be detrimental. I would think its safe to assume that the same applies to a little.

  7. #7

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    I identify as an AB mostly, so yes, I do understand the need for a caregiver. Since there is no person present in my regular life to fulfil this role I occasionally visit professional mommys. Although this is very much a professional client/provider relationship I have a very good connection with some of them, and to me it's like the next best thing. I still do wish for someone to be my caregiver in a non-professional way, though.

    As I became older (and had kids of my own) I came to understand the caregiving role a bit more, and I now think that a relationship in which I would be the 'daddy' could be every bit as fulfilling as one in which I would be the baby.
    Like Mickey Rourke said to Kim Basinger in 91/2 Weeks: "I see myself in you".

    There is a third option however: a relationship wherein both me and the woman are babies and could play around and cuddle and have fun like babyfriends would.
    That would be even more lovely and fulfilling than the first two, I think.

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