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Thread: Wearing diapers at a wedding

  1. #1

    Default Wearing diapers at a wedding

    I play guitar a bunch and it ends up that I have to play at a wedding on Saturday. My bandmates don't know about my diapers and I am trying to figure out a good way to hide that. I could just tell them, but I don't know if I want to go there.

    As it looks:
    Friday around 2pm I'm going to head over for practice. Going to practice till about dark and hang out/go to sleep.
    We carpool up there Saturday morning. It's about a 4 or 5 hour drive.
    Then we rehearse a little more.
    Wedding starts at 6pm and lasts until 10 or 11pm I'm guessing.
    We then head back either that night or in the morning.

    This naturally scares the junk out of me because I have to conceal the fact that I'm bringing a backpack into the bathroom a lot. Also, playing music in front of people while wearing a diaper that has to last me 4 or 5 hours (so a THICK diaper) sounds ominous as well.

    Lots of questions are running through my head. What excuse can I give to sneak to the bathroom for a bit? How do I stuff enough diapers to last me a couple days into a backpack?

    Basically what I'm searching for here are some ideas on how to hide this better.

  2. #2

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    growlycub,

    I am double incontinent and wear 24/7, and thus always have to make decisions similar to those you are considering.

    I notice that you like to wear 24/7s, which are rather thick. 24/7s are still concealable (I usually wear Abena Level 4), but it mostly depends on the clothes you are wearing. As you are in the band, can you wear loose, casual clothing, e.g. baggy jeans, etc.? Given the length of time between changes, it depends, in part, on your level of hydration. For the rehearsal, it seems that if you put on the diaper an hour before it begins, and take the diaper off an hour after it ends, you could be wearing for at least 7 hours, or a little more. That may be pushing it.

    If you can conceal the bulk you have the option of adding a small booster pad - notice that I said "small." However, a 24/7, plus a doubler, has substantial bulk, even when dry. Do note that as you probably will need to wear the diaper to near it's maximum absorbency before having a chance to change, the total bulk of the swollen diaper probably will be noticeable to others and will cause you to walk with a visible waddle. If you have not worn a thick diaper near its absorbent capacity before, note that you will have appreciable sag from the diaper, which will need to be supported (try compression pants, if you have them).

    I often wear an Abena Abril-form X-Plus Level 4 for 7 hours or more for daytime wear, but toward the end, that is a lot of diaper swollen with the pee. I do waddle. I only go that long without a change when I am at home.

    A better option would be to wear a thinner high-absorbency diaper such as Tena Slip Maxi or Wellness Superio Signature. Again, with an optional booster pad, if necessary.

    Re the backpack, you may be able to construct a story such as having gastrointestinal problems such as diarrhea, plus having a rash. That could help explain wearing a diaper, if you should be noticed and the backpack, if you are asked.

    Pardon me if this is intrusive, but in your profile you do not indicate that you are incontinent. If not medically incontinent, your best option on this occasion might be not to wear a diaper. You might choose to play it safe, as it seems that you run a high risk of being noticed or questioned at this event.

    Good luck!

    --John

  3. #3

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    Growlycub,

    I'm urinary IC - and deal with it day by day for what has been so far my entire life.

    Your profile does not state whethere you NEED diapers for medical reasons or simply enjoy them.
    Now if you simply enjoy diapers and there's no actual medical need I'd say: Don't wear if the situation might be compromising or if it just would cause you more trouble than its worth.

    I have to say, that I do NOT understand why anyone would "force" himself into a situation where the diapers become a hassle - IF they do not "NEED" them for medical reasons.
    Choice is beautiful and I would love to have some at times... whilst I do like diapers for the comfort they provide me with (both physical as in keeping my IC "Hidden" and emotional) I would like to be able to leave them at home at times.

    I'm just saying - I don't condemn anyone for wearing for recreational purposes NOT AT ALL!! if it makes you happy, wear diapers - I'm just saying that you're venturing into a situation where you could get outed or embarassed if done wrong, and if you don't have a necessity for diapers, well I don't see the benefit in going there at all.


    That aside ....

    Now if you NEED diapers for urinary IC issues (I mention bladder issues becuase the following tip does not work for bowel IC):
    Condom Catheter / Condom Urinal / Texas Cath (External urine collection devices - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) (goes by many names...)
    That is essentially a type of condom that is self adhesive and has a tube attached to it... to this tube you attach a longer tube that connects to a leg-bag with a flow-back-blocking valve and a drain valve.
    I often use this whenever a nappy isn't a practical for whatever reason and I can't use pads either. I wear a calf "holster" for the bag instead of the more common upper leg version. I find it far more concealable and comfortable.
    the coolest thing is that you can drain (empty) the bag without undressing / removign the bag... without disconnecting it.
    You simply go to the toilet, lift your leg over the toilet, roll up the trouser-sleeve and open the drain valve... (practice at home.... ).... this way, trust me - NO ONE will ever notice... no diapers to change, no diapers to throw away... no tape-noises, no crinkle, no hassle... you can even take a dump as you normally would ... no unfastening of the diaper etc.
    You can even drain it over an urinal (but that is visibly "odd" to people watching you... ).
    When I stumbled accross this solution many years ago I was quick to put it aside again as I had neither found a condom-type that was comfortable nor a good fitting leg-bag solution.
    For night time use it's a bit less practical in my opinion for a multitude of reasons (it still works - but a nappy is better imho). But for Day-Time use it's a rather perfect solution.
    Especially when I travel there is so much less bulk to carry, supplies are easier to transport etc... and the leg bag can even be reused a few times easily (you can flush them out with water ...).
    Just to give you an idea, that there are "better" solutions to discretely manage even serious IC issues.

    Now if you need / want DIAPERS (NAPPIES... whatever)...
    Here's where I disagree with most people here on this forum... you don't need thick diapers - actually a pretty thin one is in my opinion a much preferrable solution! or an IC PAD....
    A Tena Slip Plus (or maybe super... but those are already rather hefty in my opinion) or an Attends Slip Regular M8 (the thinnest of the tape-on diapers). or whatever other HIGH QUALITY Thin diaper you can find...
    Not only is it FAR more comfortable for me at least, because there's not much chafing, there's no bulge ... less sweating, less visibility (a tena slip plus, under normal slightly loose fitting clothes will NOT be spotted by anyone).
    Also you will have less smell issues as a thinner product gets changed more frequently.
    Now the other thing is this: PEOPLE USE TOILETS... Everyone does. So those horrible 10 hour no-toilet scenarios are actually really rare in reality.... and if you void frequently (maybe even USE THE tOILET instead of the diaper if you have some control over your bladder) and don't drink crazy amounts... stay away from diuretics such as alcohol, well even the thinnest diaper will last 3-4 hours easily.
    and then you change.
    Now get a messanger style bag - and if someone raises an eye (which I doubt) you simply say that you don't like your valuables left unattended or that you've got a magazine / book in there as you like reading while you take a dump.
    But honestly, no one ever bothered to ask me why I take a briefcase, messenger bag, etc... along...

  4. #4

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    So I really, truly do not wish to offend anybody who has been incontinent and wants to have control, but I have been trying to induce incontinence on myself since mid-January. I was honestly reluctant to post on ADISC about this because of the stigma associated with people who do this, but I was hoping that you guys could help me out. That said, I have been having legitimate daytime and nighttime issues. It's not like I have absolutely no control, but it's getting there, especially at night. So no, I do not want to take a break from the diapers because of worries associated with that. I have to wear some sort of protection during the day and night, though I can certainly cut back on the level of voiding that I have been doing. I can see myself using the toilet more often to cut back on diaper usage, if that's a good option for me.

    Sorry about the confusion.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by growlycub View Post
    So I really, truly do not wish to offend anybody who has been incontinent and wants to have control, but I have been trying to induce incontinence on myself since mid-January. I was honestly reluctant to post on ADISC about this because of the stigma associated with people who do this, but I was hoping that you guys could help me out. That said, I have been having legitimate daytime and nighttime issues. It's not like I have absolutely no control, but it's getting there, especially at night. So no, I do not want to take a break from the diapers because of worries associated with that. I have to wear some sort of protection during the day and night, though I can certainly cut back on the level of voiding that I have been doing. I can see myself using the toilet more often to cut back on diaper usage, if that's a good option for me.

    Sorry about the confusion.
    No offense taken - none at all.

    I am indeed a firm believer in personal freedom... your body - your decisions - your life
    Why would I be offended? because you want something that I would prefer to get rid off?
    Well guess what - even if you get what you want (incontinence) - it doesn't make my IC either worse or better... so it doesn't influence me in the slightest possible way.

    Do I understand it? No - certainly not... Do I support it? well not really, as I have a different outlook and experience and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

    And I guess, that if you do indeed achieve your goal, it probably in the short run will make you happier, but it will suck in the long run. And then, well it is uncertain whether at some point you'll be able to "retrain".

    Also as with any type of body modification - it isn't something you should do lightly...
    I'm covered in tattoos and I love it... wouldn't want to part with a single one of them.... has taken years.
    Some might hate them - and I don't care... but before I got the first one, and even my last one, I spent a LOT of time pondering whether it is something I truly want, I was carefully selecting the artist, it was a long design process (most of the tattoo is an integral work and not just individual motives...) ...


    Now my tattoos probably don't affect me in daily day-to-day stuff... well maybe I can't apply for a job at a bank and go short-sleeved... but if I suit up - there's only a minimal bit on the neck to be seen - so I don't think it would even hinder me from getting that kind of job (not that I'd ever want to get one of these jobs ).

    But the road you have started to take (getting IC) can and quite possible will affect you over the years in more ways than you at 24 might imagine - and with these things, even if you manage to retrain yourself it will not happen over night....
    And thus I just ask you to be cautious - especially about the method you may use to achieve your goal - some stuff can have some very much unwanted side effects (I'm not saying you do such stuff... - I'm just hinting at the possibility).

    What I'd like to say is that despite the short term "happiness" this might get you that you should ponder this with the future in mind and carefully evaluate whether this is indeed a life-style choice you want to make.
    Now also, if you indeed plan to go ahead with "becoming" incontinent - you might as well prep yourself to talk to your closest friends about it, family, the girl/boy-friend (and future iterations),... think about how it possibly will affect you in certain job-related decisions... what the financial aspect will be (for me: the Insurance company covers PART of the cost, but unfortunately not all of it, and that is despite having a life long medical history with IC Issues...) - and even though as mentioned my insurance covers the cost partially, it is still a good bit of money year after year I have to spend on IC Products.
    (basically if I just total-sum the past 15 years ... I could have bought another car... and if I'd have to cover the entire cost... it would even have been a nice car...).

    Also what I get is that many who want to be bedwetters, daytime ic - etc... want this because it would give them the ultima ratio - the definitive legitimation for wanting or rather needing diapers.
    It would transfer from being perceived as a fetish thing to something medical - the outside world would maybe pity but certainly (at least not normally and openly) ridicule you - the SO would far easier accept it, friends and family wouldn't make you out as a "pervert" (nothing wrong with being a tad pervy in my book) but would simply accept the natural need for diapers. No more hiding in a weird way... also I guess it would basically act as an emotional crutch-support for stopping the purge / self-hate / etc.. for having a slightly weird fetish.
    But the price you pay for all that is high - take it from someone who has dealt with IC for the better part of 34 years.

    As well, do never forget that you do not need ANY justification for wanting / using / wearing diapers... if it is what you want - do it... you do not need to become incontinent to wear diapers 24/7...


    Well with that all said - again, I don't judge you and I'm really not offended or so....

    And I guess you can take my advice including the option for the condom catheter in that case...

    Also at least for me and my IC Issues: I DO indeed still have control over my bladder to a point that I can actively void if I visit a toilet... in the mean time I do dribble uncontrollably - a lot - and if the pressure none the less builds up I don't make it to the toilet 8 times out of 10 in time.... but I can still "open" the sphincter on "purpose" .
    This is for me has become rather crucial as it allows me to visit the toilet like every two hours and try to empty my bladder thus preventing it from becoming overly full... that does indeed help to minimize the dribble and reduced the number of "full accidents" I have to a very manageable degree. With this, along with watching a bit what I drink and eat I am well able to get along with pads or thin diapers in most situations during the day, with the exception of long car rides, public transport and stuff like that. And well, I wet the bed - pretty heavily... ...

    I lead a rather active life from running my own company to working abroad a lot, traveling for business and pleasure, a LOT of sports, etc... I don't let my IC stop me - but it sure is a nuisance that I'd rather do without.
    For example: two weeks on the road - like a backpacking trip to some remote corner of our planet.
    Either I have to pack a LOT of diapers, work with makeshift cloth solutions (daily washing on the go...etc.) or as of "recent" at least can get better by with the condom-things... but still.
    Also with business travel, even a three day gig... daytime IC products, night time stuff, one extra set of spare clothes (carried everywhere), wet wipes, etc... it's just not cool.
    And I'm "lucky" - I do have an amazing girlfriend (been together for 12 years) but dating before that was often rather "awkward"... the only "advantage" I have is my rather "perfect" physique (I work out, a LOT and I eat & live very healthy).... but still it's a VERY awkward moment to tell that girl that you are incontinent... and she has to bear a part of that weight too on holiday, meeting with friends etc... it can be that weird elephant in the room...
    I don't know why anyone would out of his free will put himself in such situations.... but I guess I'll never understand as my perspective is a different one.

    Again: just think it through - thoroughly.

    Last but not least - if it truly is what you want with all consequences in mind - go for it.

  6. #6
    Lozza1979

    Default

    According to your profile you're not actually incontinent so I don't see the point in making life harder for yourself for no reason.I wear pretty much 24/7 but I will still refrain from wearing in situations I know may be very difficult.Also if you bandmates or whoever found out they may think its a bit off you arrive at a wedding wearing nappies and peeing in them for no real reason.I am not criticizing you here, I just feel you're not really doing yourself any favors.But if its really what you want to do then go for it.

    If you want to wear then fair enough,but be prepared to answer questions about why you're spending time in the toilets.Nobody may bat an eyelid, but people may also ask.I suggest you wear a thin brand like attends which can also absorb a fair amount and don't show under your clothes hardly at all.Good luck, let us know how it went.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by growlycub View Post
    So I really, truly do not wish to offend anybody who has been incontinent and wants to have control, but I have been trying to induce incontinence on myself since mid-January. I was honestly reluctant to post on ADISC about this because of the stigma associated with people who do this, but I was hoping that you guys could help me out. That said, I have been having legitimate daytime and nighttime issues. It's not like I have absolutely no control, but it's getting there, especially at night. So no, I do not want to take a break from the diapers because of worries associated with that. I have to wear some sort of protection during the day and night, though I can certainly cut back on the level of voiding that I have been doing. I can see myself using the toilet more often to cut back on diaper usage, if that's a good option for me.

    Sorry about the confusion.
    sorry to double post, but why do you want to make yourself incontinent?
    Last edited by Lozza1979; 02-Apr-2014 at 22:36. Reason: mistake

  7. #7

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    Truly, thanks for the level-headed questions about my motives in trying to be incontinent. I understand and appreciate the advice given and questions to ask myself when thinking about my life's direction. I've thought about some of this before, but it is always good to think about the consequences of my steps. Agreeing with Socrates when he said that "the unexamined life is not worth living."

    What I want to ask for is what you guys think is the best option for me in a practical sense. This is a hard situation and I appreciate also those who have given me ideas already. Trying to weigh my options and make the right decisions.

  8. #8

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    I played in a very good cover band for 15 year until I decided it was time to retire. Playing for a 5 or 6 hours drive gig would net me $650.00 for the gig, so I hope you're making enough money to make all these problems worth while. That said, I like to be diapered and I'm not incontinent, but on the job, I leave the diapers at home. For me, being a professional has always come first.

    I can understand wanting to be incontinent, as I have the desire as a very strong, sexual urge and I can understand not wanting to go backwards in this, but we have to live in this world. I think your best option is to taper back, use the bathroom and drink less fluids. I have trouble using public bathrooms, so I always drank very little when I was on a gig. It got me through. We're complicated people, and it is what it is, but there are ways to cope. You must choose your best option.

  9. #9

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    I am not incontinent, but my control is getting questionable. I wear nearly all of the time at this point in my life. I truely enjoy it and have no wish to stop. My family knows, to varing extents. Just about the only time I don't wear is around my mother who has known I enjoy diapers for many years and very much does not approve. Thats not to say I don't wear around her, I just don't as often, in particular when we may be out for an extended period of time that would require I change.

    I wear to, use, and change my diapers at work. Most if not all of my employees, yes I said my employees, know. I am a restaurant general manager. I will admit, I am not entirly honest with those that work with and for me. When asked, I say I am incontinent. While not true, it is close. Working in food service, you can't always run off to the restroom. I have been wearing and using my diapers for so long that I doubt I could go without at work.

    I say this just to let growly know the option is yours. It can work. But be prepared to either be honest and admit AND explain why you're wearing a diaper, or be prepared to strech the truth. Tell the band you are incontinent. If this is indeed your plan, you're going to face this many many more times. You won't be able to hide it, so be prepared to embrace it.

  10. #10

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    Mabey if the wedding were small you could try it but if it's a fairly large wedding with lots of people, I wouldn't go for something so bulky like Dry247+booster. I wear as often as I can but for an important occasion like a wedding, just doesn't sound like a clever or smart thing to do, try a less bulky diaper like an M4 and a good booster.

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