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Thread: Inner Conflict

  1. #1

    Default Inner Conflict

    Greetings and greetongs, amigos

    Come last month, I've managed to find some new nappies. Happy times? Well...to tell the truth, I'm not really at ease.

    I'm more of a DL: I'd use my nappy for the sake of wearing them, and also because of the more sexual side of it. However, acceptance doesn't come easily to me when I'm in a wet nappy that I've used to masturbate in.
    Even on this forum, I'm finding it rather hard to say it.

    Each and every time that I've "used" my nappy, I feel incredibly sharp yet drawn out feelings of shame come through my head. The experience after I use my nappy like that is absolutely awful, but I'm still a DL after all that.

    I'm not sure if there are coping strategies, or if I should make drastic change (pun not intended). I could just do with another person's view on the situation.

  2. #2

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    This is very common and not just among ABDLs. It's also a total waste of energy, so the sooner you can be rid of it, the better. Thinking back on it, one of the things I was doing when this started to turn around for me was to push past climax in terms of stimulation rather than just collapsing in a spent heap immediately. I didn't need to climax twice (although nice if you're so inclined) but it seemed to help put me back on a more even keel with regard to my diaper feelings.

    More generally, keep reminding yourself that this is all you, not some alien urge. It's you when you want them and it's you when you don't. Cultivating a sense of humor about it also seemed to help. It's ridiculous what humans get up to to achieve a little satisifaction (again, not just ABDLs). Being able to smile or chuckle at myself in a nice way after the fact also appeared to help. I expect one of the biggest helps is being accepted for it by someone you care about but that's not one of those things that's necessarily under your control.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    I expect one of the biggest helps is being accepted for it by someone you care about but that's not one of those things that's necessarily under your control.
    This is very true and can be a great help in accepting yourself.

    If you don't have this, don't worry. You aren't doing anything wrong. You are just acting out your fetish, the same as millions of others around the world (and that's just DL's). There are many millions more who have different fetishes and some of those are harmful. What you are doing is not harmful to anybody, least of all yourself.

    So try to enjoy it and realize that you are as normal as the next person. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

  4. #4
    Lozza1979

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    Feelings of self shame are very common after masturbating, I don't think it has too much to do with the nappy.After releasing sexual tension you tend to reflect on what you just did and may not feel like wearing a nappy for a while.I wouldn't worry too much about it.I dare say many here like to relieve themselves into their nappy, myself included on occasion, that's not to mention the many thousands of others that aren't on this forum.So its not like you're alone.

  5. #5

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    As Lozza says, it's quite common even for people that are 100% vanilla in their sexual tastes and masturbate while thinking about nice-looking members of the opposite sex. A ton of it is conditioned training, and you need to actively tell yourself that no, actually, it's fine and you've just got an unusual source of pleasure that doesn't hurt anybody else and isn't harmful to you either.

    You can also think about sources of shame. Sometimes there are some legitimate issues. If you're feeling bad because you're spending too much time alone with diapers, go get out more, go on some dates, hang out with friends etc. (I could probably benefit from taking my own advice on that one, too). And make sure your pleasure activities aren't interfering with work/school/other obligations.

  6. #6

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    I think your age is a factor. I hated what I'd done, wetting and masturbating, when I was your age. Being a young male means either having to be tough, or have some mental image of toughness. I played sports and worked out, yet at night, I was doing "the deed" and feeling like I was insane afterward. Over the years, I've discovered that I have nothing to prove to others.

    The great thing about getting older is that our self worth is measured differently. There wasn't anyone I had to beat either in sports, or fighting, or bravado. I'm a musician and proud of it. I've played and performed the great works, and it defines in part, who I am. What I do in private is a small part of the larger picture. I'm respected by my peers, and that's enough. None of us want to know each others' secrets, and that's fine by all of us!

  7. #7

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    To echo what has already been said, it is an incredibly common feeling. One that I've experienced over the years, but has faded with age. It's a natural and instinctual reaction. One that extends back to us being primates. To put it bluntly, we're designed to fuck and quickly move on to the next female (or male!).

    I do find that by distracting oneself with other tasks, it can lessen the feeling. Whether that be TV or Reading, the more engaged you are, the less you have time to think about it. Also, I think what helped me initially, was that I forced myself to keep my diaper on post masturbation. In doing so, it keeps that area in a warm and moist environment, and aids in recovery of the good feelings rather than shameful ones. If you're taking it off and cleaning immediately, I always found the "withdrawal" was worst. But, I expect everyone's experiences will be different.

    I think also there might be an element of self-acceptance that still needs to be processed. But this is just a wild guess, and only you can achieve this - with our love and support beneath your wings (diapers are fun dude! :3). Could I ask you OP, how long do these feelings last? I generally recover nowadays within about a half hour, if not maybe 45 minutes. But if you're feeling like this for long periods of time, I suspect that perhaps this is more psychological than physical.

  8. #8

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    Wow, guys I'm actually feeling so much better after all that.



    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    Could I ask you OP, how long do these feelings last? I generally recover nowadays within about a half hour, if not maybe 45 minutes. But if you're feeling like this for long periods of time, I suspect that perhaps this is more psychological than physical.
    Well, I think the feelings last about an hour or so (I can't remember much about it, because I would be trying to get out of my nappy as fast as I can :P )



    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    You can also think about sources of shame. Sometimes there are some legitimate issues. If you're feeling bad because you're spending too much time alone with diapers, go get out more, go on some dates, hang out with friends etc. (I could probably benefit from taking my own advice on that one, too). And make sure your pleasure activities aren't interfering with work/school/other obligations.
    Rest assured, college and other things come before secretive deeds :P You're right, though: other activities (and being around with friends) do bring relief. Dates...a bit hard to get hold of currently :P

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    [snipped]I do find that by distracting oneself with other tasks, it can lessen the feeling. Whether that be TV or Reading, the more engaged you are, the less you have time to think about it. Also, I think what helped me initially, was that I forced myself to keep my diaper on post masturbation. In doing so, it keeps that area in a warm and moist environment, and aids in recovery of the good feelings rather than shameful ones. If you're taking it off and cleaning immediately, I always found the "withdrawal" was worst. But, I expect everyone's experiences will be different.[snipped]
    I forgot to mention this in my post so I'm glad Luca covered it. Being able to keep my diaper on when I would have ordinarily been done with it really helped. I used to plan to get cleaned up and put on a fresh diaper afterwards but I rarely followed through with it (I'm pretty good about this now). Leaving it on for a while got me more used to diapers as something I wear rather than just an item for a particular use, even though that particular use is fantastic.

  10. #10

    Default

    As dogboy noted, age changes your perspective on a lot of things.

    Life is too short to do things you don't like.

    Life is too short to NOT do things you DO like.

    I'm terrified of heights. I'll probably take up skydiving when I'm 90. At that point the outcome is roughly the same whether the 'chute opens or not, whether I go up in the plane or not. Might as well enjoy the experience when there's nothing to lose.

    If you knew you were going to be hit by a bus tomorrow morning, would you, or would you not, spend tonight in a diaper?

    I know the answer for me. Your answer may be different.

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