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Thread: so tired of d-brief

  1. #1

    Default so tired of d-brief

    How can depend briefs even be considered as an option. I haven't been using regularly long but I am so sick of these things letting me down. Anything other than a drop and my clothes are wet. Yeah sure if I wanted to wear a diaper just to say I've got one on fine.

    I understand they can't be flooded. I'm just talking about a trickle here and there...the next thing you know, I'm making a lame excuse like....oh I must have set in something.

    Is there a low profile diaper I can use...that doesn't give me diaper butt that can take at least some light wetting. Arrrrrg!!

    I have to hide this. I am so ashamed and frustrated. I know it sounds like I'm incontinent....I'm not. I *need* to wear and use.....without the down side of getting caught. I have to be who i am inside.

    This has been going on for years for me. I have to be a baby.....it is who I am. But I have a job a wife a kid....I'm getting old. Why am I here even, why am I broken?

    I have to stay hidden, or my world will unwind. I can never be who I really am. Don't be alarmed by my next statement because I never could do this.....but sometimes I wish I would just die and move on.

    Why did this have to happen to me? I hurt. I'm ugly...I'm fat...I'm the wrong gender...I hate my job....I'm old, but inside I am a baby girl. And that is the first time I've ever said that even to myself.

  2. #2

    Default

    My suggestion would be Abena M3 or L3 depending on your size. Go with the cloth backed as they are nearly silent. They can handle two large wettings without leaking a drop. They are very thin to start they do swell with usage of course. The padding is situated right down the middle so they are great for sitting or standing . Give them a try you wont be disappointed.

  3. #3

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    I find their Protection with Tabs product to be okay for light usage but if that's what's letting you down, I'd suggest perhaps Adult Diapers & Briefs | Adult Incontinence Products by Wellness Briefs (try either their Wellness Briefs or the Superio, they're both pretty thin). As an alternative or an addition look into using stuffers or pads. Even a Depend can be pretty decent with one of these: TotalDry Boost Ups : Bambino Diapers, The Best Source for ABDL Diapers and Products!.

  4. #4

    Default

    I've not tried Abena M3 yet, but I use Abena M2 (or L2 if I was larger) during the day and they can also take at least 2 soakings and are very discreet. Nobody notices if I wear them.

    I hope you feel better bfp2. If you find a diaper that works I am sure you can be more at ease with yourself. There is no need to be ashamed or frustrated, needing to wear is natural and just a part of you. There are many of us here with wives and kids.

    Have you ever read "There's a baby in my bed"? It is meant for SO's, but really can help AB's come to terms with themselves as well. You can buy it on Amazon.

    Have you spoken to your wife about this? I'm not saying that you should if you haven't, but it can help (if they accept you for who you are). Mine did and it made me suddenly feel that I wasn't a freak and actually I am as normal as the next person. Everybody has their quirks, ours are just a bit different. They don't hurt anybody though.

    All the best and PM me if you need any advice..

  5. #5

    Default

    I know the feeling, i only wear depends briefs if i want to wear something cheap, crinkly, and i'm not worried about a leak. If you still want to wear something that doesn't cost much, and you don't have to order online, get some certainties, you can find them at walgreens, or their alternate name that i can't think of right now. Certainties are a cloth outer cover, so you can re-apply the tapes, they also are able to stay pretty snug. They hold about as much as a depends, but i like to put a baby diaper inside to use as a booster. You can get certainties for about 18$ for 40. Its a pretty cheap route to go.

  6. #6

    Default

    I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are, man. I'm fairly certain most of us have felt that way from time to time. Most of us just can't be who we are because of work/family/friends/money issues whatever the reasons may be. If you're feeling down and don't know who to talk to, you can message anyone on here, that's what we're here for, to help other in need, you're among friends here.

    If you do get an Abena m/l (whatever your size is) 2 or 3, Although they are an excellent diaper, just keep in mind that they do have an odor control issue.
    I get mine here: XP Medical - Abena Abri-Form Premium Breathable Adult Diapers

    Depends with tabs (plastic backed) aren't that bad compared to all the other products they make, though I do suggest a stuffer with them to absorb more as they still don't absorb more than 1 to 2 wettings.

    I also really recommend these: Medline FitRight Super Adult Disposable Briefs by MEDLINE INDUSTRIES | Health Products For You
    They're very cheap, comfortable, of pretty good quality and they're far better than Depends, in my opinion. With the price, it's hard to find a better deal.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by bfp2 View Post
    I have to be a baby.....it is who I am. But I have a job a wife a kid....I'm getting old. Why am I here even, why am I broken?

    I have to stay hidden, or my world will unwind. I can never be who I really am.

    Dear BFP2
    Please know you are not alone in feeling like this..... you are also not broken. The fact that you are here shows you are strong enough to want to find out more and to accept yourself for who you truly are.
    You are a strong person even just to be on this site, trying to be who you are.



    Quote Originally Posted by bfp2 View Post
    Why did this have to happen to me? I hurt. I'm ugly...I'm fat...I'm the wrong gender...I hate my job....I'm old, but inside I am a baby girl. And that is the first time I've ever said that even to myself.
    This hasn't 'happened' to you..... it is just who you are. The fact that you have a job, a wife and a child proves you are more than broken - you are stronger than you might believe. It might take time to accept yourself, many people go though life with self doubt and worry but come out the other side stronger than ever.
    The baby girl inside you might need some TLC at the moment - find the time for her whenever you can. This is difficult when you have responsibilities but also a huge part of you life.
    Thank you for sharing with us here - I hope you can find the time to enjoy who you really are both by accepting the baby girl within you and the adult that you are.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by bfp2 View Post
    How can depend briefs even be considered as an option. I haven't been using regularly long but I am so sick of these things letting me down. Anything other than a drop and my clothes are wet. Yeah sure if I wanted to wear a diaper just to say I've got one on fine.

    I understand they can't be flooded. I'm just talking about a trickle here and there...the next thing you know, I'm making a lame excuse like....oh I must have set in something.

    Is there a low profile diaper I can use...that doesn't give me diaper butt that can take at least some light wetting. Arrrrrg!!

    I have to hide this. I am so ashamed and frustrated. I know it sounds like I'm incontinent....I'm not. I *need* to wear and use.....without the down side of getting caught. I have to be who i am inside.

    This has been going on for years for me. I have to be a baby.....it is who I am. But I have a job a wife a kid....I'm getting old. Why am I here even, why am I broken?

    I have to stay hidden, or my world will unwind. I can never be who I really am. Don't be alarmed by my next statement because I never could do this.....but sometimes I wish I would just die and move on.

    Why did this have to happen to me? I hurt. I'm ugly...I'm fat...I'm the wrong gender...I hate my job....I'm old, but inside I am a baby girl. And that is the first time I've ever said that even to myself.

    Congratulations for accepting yourself bfp2! You have just made the first step to being happy just the way you are. To be honest with those around oneself, that individual needs to first be honest with themselves. You are a human being and should at the very least respect that part of yourself. I can take a guess why you asked the question "why am I broken?" Society teaches us to hurt one another but is that really the best way for us to go? We are more then just pieces of meat trying to get our genes into the next generation are we not? Of course we are and it is that aspect of ourselves that should be respected by at least ourselves if no one else. It's alright to want to feel like a little girl on the inside while physically being a male. Because of societal ills we are all being damaged and because of that there is misery in the world.

    Now I have no doubt that at some point someone is going to say something that will offend you but never let that be an excuse to not be who and what you are! Learn to control that frustration and help yourself be a better person because you deserve it. We are a support community but even we have our differences and that is because we need to be honest with each other sometimes and the truth can be a unpleasant thing sometimes. Fortunately I rather enjoy healthy conversations like this and this is not one of those unpleasant moments of self revelation! Welcome to ADISC bfp2 I hope all of us can help each other learn more so we can support each other even better in the future!

  9. #9

    Default

    Being an a/b isn't something most of us chose anymore than our skin or eye colour. There is nothing wrong with being an a/b.

    Hiding something that is an important part of oneself leads to feelings of shame. The a/b needs themselves do not.

    I am fine with being an a/b. Have told my only sibling and every person I have been involved with. Have had various degrees of participation but that's fine. As long as I can be who I am, participation is a bonus. Never had a bad response telling others. This is in part reflective of who I choose to spend time with. It is also likely how I present it as a positive thing that I am comfortable with.

    Self acceptance does not have to mean we tell everybody and do whatever we might think about privately. Self acceptance can come from sharing with other a/b's. It can come from sharing little parts of ourselves with those we trust. For some it means sharing online.

    Things like loosing weight take place by many small steps. I used to be obese and lost a large amount of weight through more exercise and better food choices. Now my weight is creeping back up as I am no longer running and getting sloppy with my eating.

    Trashing myself for this is not helpful. Making better choices is helpful. Being aware of why I want things to be different is helpful.

    40 might not be young but it isn't old either. My parents are both alive and have great lives in their 70's.

    As someone who have had a/b interests all my life, I grew up ashamed of it simply as I didn't know of anyone else who did such things. Thanks to DPF, usenet groups and later the internet, I have slowly become accepting of this part of myself.

    There are lots of us out there. Many places to get support and meet others. I hope you can work towards coming to peace with your a/b side.

  10. #10

    Default

    You've got some good advise on the diapers bpf2, and on how to live this lifestyle. I too have read, "There's A Baby In My Bed" and it's a very good book. There's quite a bit of information on those who are biologically male, but when regressing, identify with being a little girl.

    I know about depression as I went through a lot of it when my wife's health crashed. After working two jobs, I'd get home and help put her on a dialysis machine, as she does home dialysis. I found that by getting less than six hours of sleep, it was contributing not only to my depression, but suicidal thoughts.

    I think you would benefit from some sort of regiment of exercise. I bought a good quality bike, and during the warm and hot weather, went out biking on our bike trail. I also walk and try to do some other exercises. It really helps how I feel mentally.

    At 42 you are not old, at least not by my standards, as I'm 66. Honestly, I don't feel that old. There are so many things I do. Six years ago I started writing a novel, and now I'm one final edit away from publishing. Examine your life and discover what would make you happy. There are small, cheaper, simpler things that can bring us some joy or at least, comfort.

    I don't know your wife, but six years ago, my wife discovered my diaper online order and I had to tell her about something I kept hidden most of our marriage. She was very accepting and supports me all the way. I wear diapers to bed every night, and in the morning, I watch children's shows. Who knows whats possible unless your ask. It can be done in very small increments, just a hint here and there. I wish you well. Hang in there.

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