Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Feeling stupid. Does this happen to anyone else?

  1. #1

    Default Feeling stupid. Does this happen to anyone else?

    So I have been this way my whole life but it was never a big issue when I was kid because I was homeschooled and stuff and now that I'm trying to grow up more and hopefully to be a ‘normal' responsible adult, get a job etc. because I have been held back for personal issues and am on SSI currently but lately I've been wanting to try and get help and stuff to become more grown up and things. One of the many things that has me kinda nervous though and always makes me feel stupid is that when someone is talking to me and their telling me some kind of directions or instructions I can't follow along, it is so hard, basically I have to have it written down and if I don't I only get a bit of it and then I have to go back to the person and ask again, "what did u say u wanted me to do again?" And then they have to say it slowly so I can get it all in. And then even after that I still have some questions. Also when I make important phone calls to places and then when my mom asks what they said over the phone it's difficult to remember what the person said and I usually just say “umm I forget, it's hard to explain." And blow it off. Also when I did cyber school for one year it was always hard for me to follow along with what the teacher was saying over the virtual classrooms and stuff usually it was a mix of trying to follow along and understand it all and take it all in but eventually getting lost and then my mind would be on something else. Its usually like this wherever I go, like I quit going to my music lessons because it was so hard to follow along and the music teacher had to explain a lot of the same things over again because I forgot, or wasn't getting it all the way. And it was embarrassing and one of the big reasons I'm scared to get out there and be a normal adult. I don't know what I should do at this point if I should go to a psychiatrist or something or ignore it and somehow get over it. Does anyone else have issues like this? And if so do you know why?

  2. #2

    Default

    This sounds like you have problems with executive functions. There are possible reasons for it, most of which would have to be diagnosed by a professional. It sounds like it is getting in the way of your happiness and ability to function in the world, so that is the biggest reason why you should probably seek professional help for whatever could be causing this issue. Best of luck!

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by daddyslilprincess View Post
    So I have been this way my whole life"..."..." some kind of directions or instructions I can't follow along, it is so hard, basically I have to have it written down and if I don't I only get a bit of it and then I have to go back to the person and ask again, "what did u say u wanted me to do again?" And then they have to say it slowly so I can get it all in. And then even after that I still have some questions. Also when I make important phone calls to places and then when my mom asks what they said over the phone it's difficult to remember what the person said and I usually just say “umm I forget, it's hard to explain." And blow it off. Also when I did cyber school for one year it was always hard for me to follow along with what the teacher was saying over the virtual classrooms and stuff usually it was a mix of trying to follow along and understand it all and take it all in but eventually getting lost and then my mind would be on something else. Its usually like this wherever I go, like I quit going to my music lessons because it was so hard to follow along and the music teacher had to explain a lot of the same things over again because I forgot, or wasn't getting it all the way. And it was embarrassing and one of the big reasons I'm scared to get out there and be a normal adult. I don't know what I should do at this point if I should go to a psychiatrist or something or ignore it and somehow get over it. Does anyone else have issues like this? And if so do you know why?
    daddyslilprincess,

    Dyslexia, ADD/ADHD, hearing issues...any number of things possible... I too would recommend professional evaluation, so that you can find what works for you...

    Do you day-dream much too?

    I still have some issues with this very sort of thing!

    You are not likely stupid, in fact you probably have a good level of IQ (maybe above average)...

    There are a number of methods that may help you to remember things much better...learning by rote, may not be one of them...
    Don't let the embarrassment of this stop you from getting some help to figure it out...

    The matter may be...that your intelligence isn't lacking, but rather gets in the way of getting the how and why something means something...



    rote
    noun
    Definition of ROTE
    1
    : the use of memory usually with little intelligence <learn by rote>
    2
    : mechanical or unthinking routine or repetition <a joyless sense of order, rote, and commercial hustle — L. L. King>
    I had to know how and why 2+2=4...not, just that it did! (because it does)

    Don't despair!
    -Marka

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Marka View Post
    daddyslilprincess,

    Dyslexia, ADD/ADHD, hearing issues...any number of things possible... I too would recommend professional evaluation, so that you can find what works for you...

    Do you day-dream much too?

    I still have some issues with this very sort of thing!

    You are not likely stupid, in fact you probably have a good level of IQ (maybe above average)...

    There are a number of methods that may help you to remember things much better...learning by rote, may not be one of them...
    Don't let the embarrassment of this stop you from getting some help to figure it out...

    The matter may be...that your intelligence isn't lacking, but rather gets in the way of getting the how and why something means something...



    I had to know how and why 2+2=4...not, just that it did! (because it does)

    Don't despair!
    -Marka
    Thanks for the input. Yes! I do daydream so much. I don't think I have dyslexia I have never had trouble with reading or seeing the words differently or spelling, only thing was reading comprehension and trying to understand what I was reading without just simply reading. Yeah I do have a normal IQ, just sometimes feeling 'slow' compared to others is frustrating. And the other thing you mentioned about was the why and how something means something. I've never really questioned stuff like that, like you said about how you needed to know why 2+2=4, I don't think I have ever really thought like that. For me it just seems like basically hard to follow along a lot of the time and forgetting easily later, whether it be verbal instructions, following along when someone is teaching such as the music, or the cyber schooling classes. It was just too much and it was like code or a foreign language a lot of the time. So I never really questioned about how and why so much I don't think. The only thing with math though I basically did pre algebra until I graduated (thank God for homeschooling) and each year I needed to relearn because I would forget a lot of it like the fractions and all that stuff, I was okay with like adding and subtracting and things like that (counting on fingers of course) but usually it was after a certain point it got really hard, and tbh a lot of the time I didn't get it and I just didn't care anymore and just either cheated or didn't do it. So like if I were to go to a college someday I would probably be up shit crick. So that's basically how I struggled/ struggle with things so for me I never really questioned so much about the how and why like you mentioned. Don't get me wrong it's not like I'm always like 'clueless' like having a normal conversation with me it's not like I would be like lost in something like that.
    Thanks for the reply and will see about maybe getting an evaluation or whatever hopefully soon.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by daddyslilprincess View Post
    Thanks for the input. Yes! I do daydream so much. I don't think I have dyslexia I have never had trouble with reading or seeing the words differently or spelling, only thing was reading comprehension and trying to understand what I was reading without just simply reading. Yeah I do have a normal IQ, just sometimes feeling 'slow' compared to others is frustrating. And the other thing you mentioned about was the why and how something means something. I've never really questioned stuff like that, like you said about how you needed to know why 2+2=4, I don't think I have ever really thought like that. For me it just seems like basically hard to follow along a lot of the time and forgetting easily later, whether it be verbal instructions, following along when someone is teaching such as the music, or the cyber schooling classes. It was just too much and it was like code or a foreign language a lot of the time. So I never really questioned about how and why so much I don't think. The only thing with math though I basically did pre algebra until I graduated (thank God for homeschooling) and each year I needed to relearn because I would forget a lot of it like the fractions and all that stuff, I was okay with like adding and subtracting and things like that (counting on fingers of course) but usually it was after a certain point it got really hard, and tbh a lot of the time I didn't get it and I just didn't care anymore and just either cheated or didn't do it. So like if I were to go to a college someday I would probably be up shit crick. So that's basically how I struggled/ struggle with things so for me I never really questioned so much about the how and why like you mentioned. Don't get me wrong it's not like I'm always like 'clueless' like having a normal conversation with me it's not like I would be like lost in something like that.
    Thanks for the reply and will see about maybe getting an evaluation or whatever hopefully soon.
    I bolded key issues that I share/shared...

    That's good to hear, daddyslilprincess!

    I did quite well in reading and spelling (you wouldn't know it now... spell-check)...but retaining comprehension of what I just read...sometimes rereading the same thing over and over, trying to get it to stick while I sought out the next piece ...and don't get me started on essay questions what the hell did they just ask??...

    Though I'm a fair bit older than you, and I've made some of my own adaptations... I might need to get an evaluation myself... I did have one doctor suggest that I may have ADD...for some reason though, it made me laugh hysterically...I thought it absurd then...

    The worry and isolation will make it worse though...I have confidence and hope in you getting to a place that will make it much better for you...

    When all the other kids just seemed to know that 3x3=9...I would either have to look up the cheat-chart which only went to 12x12=144 (And I remember that now!)... or, I would have to manually arrange 3-groups of 3, and count them up... I've done advanced calculus without knowing that's what I was doing...but, I had a completely different way of going about it... I never really grasped more than basic algebra... a bit of abstract thinking that I'm good at, but also having the propensity to interpret literal meanings from abstract ideas...that made for some big problems...

    I too could and did carry on considerable conversations...without being clueless...

    Other things, like looking for a fillips screwdriver...if I had in mind that it had a red handle...I would not see the three perfectly suitable screwdrivers in other colors that were near me...



    What a day for a daydream
    What a day for a daydreamin' boy
    And I'm lost in a daydream...
    It may not come all a once, but having a good answer for your troubles can be quite relieving!

    Take care!
    -Marka

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Marka View Post
    I bolded key issues that I share/shared...

    That's good to hear, daddyslilprincess!

    I did quite well in reading and spelling (you wouldn't know it now... spell-check)...but retaining comprehension of what I just read...sometimes rereading the same thing over and over, trying to get it to stick while I sought out the next piece ...and don't get me started on essay questions what the hell did they just ask??...

    Though I'm a fair bit older than you, and I've made some of my own adaptations... I might need to get an evaluation myself... I did have one doctor suggest that I may have ADD...for some reason though, it made me laugh hysterically...I thought it absurd then...

    The worry and isolation will make it worse though...I have confidence and hope in you getting to a place that will make it much better for you...

    When all the other kids just seemed to know that 3x3=9...I would either have to look up the cheat-chart which only went to 12x12=144 (And I remember that now!)... or, I would have to manually arrange 3-groups of 3, and count them up... I've done advanced calculus without knowing that's what I was doing...but, I had a completely different way of going about it... I never really grasped more than basic algebra... a bit of abstract thinking that I'm good at, but also having the propensity to interpret literal meanings from abstract ideas...that made for some big problems...

    I too could and did carry on considerable conversations...without being clueless...

    Other things, like looking for a fillips screwdriver...if I had in mind that it had a red handle...I would not see the three perfectly suitable screwdrivers in other colors that were near me...



    It may not come all a once, but having a good answer for your troubles can be quite relieving!

    Take care!
    -Marka
    Thank you! Yes, I totally get where your coming from with the reading things over and over.
    Yes I think at this point in my life I want to be able to have a career and be responsible one day and if it means getting some help and answer or whatever for certain things I think it will be worth it in the long run. Just wondering, were you diagnosed or suspected you have a learning disability, especially in math?

    I think if I would have went to school things would have been noticed more but for me I have lived a relaxed life and went by my own pace with things and basically did my schoolwork independently with only my mom to check later to make sure I did it. But as I have gotten older which comes with more adult responsibilities, I am noticing more how much I'm having issues and it's been putting my self esteem down some. Thank you for the reply and input. It helps to know its not just me being 'dumb'. Lol

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by daddyslilprincess View Post
    Thank you! Yes, I totally get where your coming from with the reading things over and over.
    Yes I think at this point in my life I want to be able to have a career and be responsible one day and if it means getting some help and answer or whatever for certain things I think it will be worth it in the long run. Just wondering, were you diagnosed or suspected you have a learning disability, especially in math?

    I think if I would have went to school things would have been noticed more but for me I have lived a relaxed life and went by my own pace with things and basically did my schoolwork independently with only my mom to check later to make sure I did it. But as I have gotten older which comes with more adult responsibilities, I am noticing more how much I'm having issues and it's been putting my self esteem down some. Thank you for the reply and input. It helps to know its not just me being 'dumb'. Lol
    daddyslilprincess,

    Even though in public school...I did not get a diagnosis or any known suspicion of any learning disabilities... I often just did get the lowest passing score... I almost never did any homework...now in fairness, I also left in the 'freshman' 9th grade, and I was put in an intermediate of first grade and kindergarten, then held back in 6th grade, and should have been held back in 7th and 8th grade...my art was rejected only because I did not conform to academic standards... they didn't want to praise me for anything, if I didn't make the academic grades...I had other socialization issues too, and was additionally isolated in a rural area of a very small town...

    Without having the experience of being home-schooled myself (and with my family, that would have been worse being trapped all that time with them)... I might guess, that you have more of you intact by not having gone to school...also, there was a period that everyone* was getting an ADHD diagnosis, and medicated to oblivion...there's a balance to be had... perhaps it's better now...but, I'm inclined to believe that you have had a better go of it, though it troubles you plenty now...

    I can't see any reason why you wouldn't have a very successful career and be able to properly take on the additional responsibilities especially after you have come to understand what is in your way, and how to manage...use to you advantage, your learning style!

    I believe that I have missed several opportunities for great monetary wealth and advancement myself...more importantly though, I have had great interpersonal wealth and advancement through discovery of myself, and of many wonderful others...perhaps, you have the opportunity for both! I wish that for you! If any way I might help that along...please be sure to let me know!

    I assure you...you are not being dumb!
    Happily,
    -Marka

  8. #8

    Default

    Perhaps you simply are scatter-brained. Although not a clinical term, it has been associated self-prescribedly by those who are of high-level brain function. It simply means there are more than just a few thoughts acting at once and mundane details get left in the background and often left to obscurity.

    Eienstein and Stephan King both recalled that they had similar difficulties.

    I wouldn't embark on a journey of worry here unless it has continued to cause major difficulties in your life.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Marka View Post
    daddyslilprincess,

    Even though in public school...I did not get a diagnosis or any known suspicion of any learning disabilities... I often just did get the lowest passing score... I almost never did any homework...now in fairness, I also left in the 'freshman' 9th grade, and I was put in an intermediate of first grade and kindergarten, then held back in 6th grade, and should have been held back in 7th and 8th grade...my art was rejected only because I did not conform to academic standards... they didn't want to praise me for anything, if I didn't make the academic grades...I had other socialization issues too, and was additionally isolated in a rural area of a very small town...

    Without having the experience of being home-schooled myself (and with my family, that would have been worse being trapped all that time with them)... I might guess, that you have more of you intact by not having gone to school...also, there was a period that everyone* was getting an ADHD diagnosis, and medicated to oblivion...there's a balance to be had... perhaps it's better now...but, I'm inclined to believe that you have had a better go of it, though it troubles you plenty now...

    I can't see any reason why you wouldn't have a very successful career and be able to properly take on the additional responsibilities especially after you have come to understand what is in your way, and how to manage...use to you advantage, your learning style!

    I believe that I have missed several opportunities for great monetary wealth and advancement myself...more importantly though, I have had great interpersonal wealth and advancement through discovery of myself, and of many wonderful others...perhaps, you have the opportunity for both! I wish that for you! If any way I might help that along...please be sure to let me know!

    I assure you...you are not being dumb!
    Happily,
    -Marka
    Thank you, I use to feel guilty and wondering if I would have been better off if I would have went to public school. Because there were times where the option came up and for some reason my mom thought it probably wasn't the best thing for me(because I was having other issues at the time) but my two other sisters eventually went back to school and tbh I kind of felt left out. Yeah, the whole ADHD thing I have noticed that too, just from my sisters going to school and how many kids and friends who were labeled ADHD/ADD. I remember thinking that there seemed to be so many who supposably had that.

    I know I can be responsible and successful, just a matter of finding out what works for me I guess, just like with anyone.

    It sounds like school was exhausting for you. Glad things are better for you now then it was then. Thanks again for the encouragement and input.
    Last edited by daddyslilprincess; 17-Mar-2014 at 07:05.

  10. #10

    Default

    Hello

    As I have read through the post in this thread (twice) I hear my story being told. My mother fought to get the school to look at my reading problems and had to prove to the administration that I had dyslexia. I struggled through school but made it with a 3.o from High school. I did ok through college for the first year, but every year I hit a wall and over came it with a lot of work. I graduated and got a job as a research assistant. I had problems and worked through them, but every time there was a need to cut someone, guess who went first. Then I would struggle and start over in a new job and go through it again. I would get in trouble and be able to work through it or find and out. I finely hit the big wall and adjusted with a lot of help. I was finally diagnosed with clinical depression and ADD, but I set myself up for failure by getting into a position I had no business.

    So I guess What I am saying is look into counseling and getting help with the lack of skills that you have. There is a lot of options that might, should, could, possibly help. It is a struggle to find the right therapist that can get the information that you need but once you do, the skills will develop and opportunities will come your way.

    IT is not going to happen over night and trust me there is times it fells like for every three steps forward there is always a back slide or you go down the wrong path. But in the long run you will get the skills to deal with life.

    Good Luck.

Similar Threads

  1. Stupid jobs with stupid people (Mini-rant...)
    By Ronbeast in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 20-Aug-2012, 07:44
  2. Stupid stupid stupid. Busted!
    By Fingon in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-Jun-2012, 13:26
  3. stupid stupid question...
    By TraumaChick in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-Feb-2012, 03:36
  4. Oh my god! Did that just happen?
    By JessycaNekoGirl in forum Incontinence
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 10-Nov-2011, 00:54

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.