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Thread: So I met a potential Daddy

  1. #1

    Default So I met a potential Daddy

    Long time, no see people of ADISC!

    I met this guy about a month ago, and we're currently friends with nonsexual benefits. He wants to be a Daddy (and so far, he knows what he's doing) and I want to be a little we're just playing by ear at the moment. We've skyped a few times, emailed every day since we met, and exchanged pictures.

    I've already laid down my limits with diapers (I'll wear, but I'm no where near 24/7), and he's accepted them without complaint. I honesty thought he would put up more of a fight about it, since its a fetish of his. But he told me he likes me for me, and so far he's hasn't complained. So I'm going to assume that he's being honest....until he starts prodding me about it anyway.

    The problem I'm currently facing is that I have periods where I do not want to be an AB at all. He's really interested in a 24/7 relationship (sub/Dom with heavy Daddy/lg) and I'm not even sure I can be a 24/7 sub given that I've been fighting him tooth and nail for a week now. I'm not sure if I'm trying to find my limits, being a complete brat, or just simply can not do 24/7.

    It seems to irk him, and I can't help it. So any ideas as to what might be wrong with me? It doesn't help that we live on the opposite sides of the US....

    I'm falling asleep, so good night!

  2. #2


    The thing to understand is that relationships are two way streets. If you legitimately do not want to wear 24/7, your daddy should respect that. If he's not helping you to feel comfortable being his little girl in the way you would like to be, then he's not doing his job properly. For some people the 24/7 thing works. But in my opinion, it is one of the quickest ways to smother a relationship because then it is forcing the two individuals to be together all the time out of necessity instead of desire.

    StrawberryRaven, only you can really decide how you feel on this topic. If you don't want to go 24/7, don't. If you are being bratty because you are nervous about committing to 24/7 wearing, then explain your feelings and reasoning to your daddy. No matter what your feelings and the outcome, both of you need to talk to each other and establish boundaries. Being someone's sub isn't about giving the dom complete and total free reign against your will. It's about allowing them to care for you as they see fit, with your consent to do so. Remember that and talk to your daddy about his feelings. You both need to be on the same page.

  3. #3



    First off be know that tho you can't always be sure with little girls

    So, disclaimer done!

    24/7 is tough for anything...

    I had a gf back in 90 that wanted 24/7 and that is actually the sole reason she is an ex...

    I can't do 24/7 my limit is like 24/3 then I need a break...

    Don't get me wrong, I had a great time, she was wealthy, owned a very nice house, bought or had made just about anything you could even think of...and it was great...just can't do it all the time...

    Everyone is different, and being a sub the Dom will always push...and that is ok, but no still means no...

    The last day I stayed with her, I just needed a break...she pushed...and after the repeated no's I had enough...

    My only saving grace was I had some old work clothes in my truck...else I was headed back to my apartment in rather undesired attire...three piece suit in wool does itch without anything on under it though

    Looking back sometime I miss it, others not at all...

    It's just too far when it's not wanted/asked for/or agreed to...

    I'm sure she has found and lost others unless she has learned limits...and she was 25 at the time so I'm sure she has grown up pe se...

    My biggest advice is if you meet, meet in it goes...

    And, even if you've been seeing each other for a while, make sure friends or family know when you'll be gone and returning...sometimes things can go to far...

    At the time I thought of seeking legal retribution, but I wasn't really hurt in the end Luckly...

    The last day I was going over there turned into 4 days...and the first two were ok...but not quitting was too much...and then she hid or disposed of my regular clothes...I didn't have a cell back then...wasn't working...was mostly was just the 90's...and in Chicago there were plenty of parties, drugs were cheap...he'll bars don't even close...I could have disappeared or worse if she was really bad...that was a scary thing...

    Anyhow, I lost trust with her, and IMHO that's the end...

    So, just take it easy, and safe, and don't let anyone talk you into something you not willing to do....

    Power exchange is very intense to say the least...


  4. #4


    First of all, welcome back! I was just wondering the other day about how you and a few others are here every day and then *POOF* you disappear.

    I agree with what BigKid25 says. You have to communicate and it has to be mutual. If you don't want to do something, then it should not be forced upon you. In fact, this raises a warning flag to me and it might to you as well. Anyone who is insistent on you doing something, especially to the point of demanding it, is a controlling person and to me is crossing a line between being a fun and loving daddy to a controlling person which can turn into abuse.

    I urge you to proceed cautiously and please keep us up to date as your relationship develops.


  5. #5


    Red alert warning will Robertson .
    Being who you are I,m with what the before me said.
    Be careful if he dosent care how you feel what happens when you live with him .

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberryRaven View Post
    The problem I'm currently facing is that I have periods where I do not want to be an AB at all. He's really interested in a 24/7 relationship (sub/Dom with heavy Daddy/lg) and I'm not even sure I can be a 24/7 sub given that I've been fighting him tooth and nail for a week now. I'm not sure if I'm trying to find my limits, being a complete brat, or just simply can not do 24/7.

    me and my SO have now been together for somewhat more than 12 years - and we have a pretty kinky sex life to say so (both into BDSM Stuff, switch)...
    BUT Neither one of us would EVER want anything even remotely resembling a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle. Neither would we want to have collars and other BDSM gear shown in public or whatever sort of stuff like that.
    For *us* this is something we enjoy often, but not constantly - like we do normal stuff too, and we are first and most importantly a couple: two people who share life and help each other out, are there for each other, listen and talk, eat and cook good food, have fun, travel, enjoy life, ride motorcycles, run, climb, etc...

    I mention this because I think its important to shows that I *personally* don't think much of those 24/7 extreme life-style BDSM/ABDL/Sub/DOM whatever arrangements.
    I've seen my share of them and honestly 99% are just bound to fail.
    Often it's the bare knuckled conflict between fantasy and reality that kills it for good.

    the whole 24/7 thing is so "forced" that it will impose a HUGE impact on anyone's life, work, family, friends, etc... personal choices, freedom etc.
    Also by the end of the day - whilst we can and are free to pretend to be whatever we want (AB, LG,...) - we are still Adults with certain responsibilities.
    And unless you're filthy rich and beyond the law (ok I guess filthy rich whould be enough) - you are at points, even if you'd be hard core into 24/7 gigs - conflict with the very commitment you have taken up by getting into one of those 24/7 situations.
    That much the very idea, the concept is flawed.

    Also what does he think happens when your parents will be over, friends, co-workers, etc... that you keep sweetly playing LG for all world to see?

    And here's the deel: TALK. Talk this through - use some logic but also aside from logic (like the stuff above): YOU HAVE DESIRES, LIMITS, ETC... no matter how cool the guy is, it is still YOU and you need to respect yourself as much as he needs to respect you and your boundaries.
    So if he's hellbent on actually setting you up in a 24/7 LG/Daddy-Dom relationship, let him be hellbent on it -> ALONE.

  7. #7


    Basically I'd say trust your instincts, so do what your intuition is telling you. And don't ignore facts or any uncomfortable feeling you might have about anything.

    For some reason I think it would be best to completely ignore the 24/7 thingy for a moment, so speaking and thinking about it, how it would be or whatever else. Since it's a relationship in the end, isn't it? Or do you only want a play partner with benefits - I don't think it's what you're looking, right? You never did sound like that, and you still do not. Furthermore he likes you for being you, and you surely like him too due to other reasons besides the LG+Daddy thingy? But of course it's a part that you like, or to be specific - something you both like. So it's involved, used, it's something you share, which is important. But there needs to be more than that if it should last, or rather if you wan't to find what you're looking for, I believe.

    Secondly, everyone - whatever it may be they like, so fetish, bdsm related stuff, anything kinky you can think of, or even absolutely casual stuff - has a certain limit. Would be quite awkward otherwise? Okay... some may not have it... but then something is extremely wrong.
    Still, he surely has also his own limits, which you know perhaps, since he mentioned something or you can figure it out yourself... If not, you will in time.

    So anyway, nothing is wrong with you... you're only thinking about the whole situation probably, trying to see the big picture what it is and what it's not (supposed to be). You're probably afraid or to shy to mention certain things, but you're grown up, so you have to (Besides, what's any kind of love or liking without a little thrill? ;-)). You know what you want and what not, what you may like and what not. So even if you like authority a lot, it doesn't mean that you want nor have to do everything all the time. Especially if you're simply not in the mood, from time to time... which is kinda natural. Myself, I'm a bit strange at those times, since somehow I like or miss a kind of proximity a lot, but I'm also absolutely not in the mood for certain things then.
    And fighting him tooth and nail for a week, without one of you being upset about it, means something at least in my opinion.

    If you haven't disguised everything about yourself completely, he probably knows some things, since he surely asked and you reacted... a bit strange? Or at least he might know that there some things, which you haven't mentioned. Ultimately, there's nothing else as talking about it, to whatever extent you feel is right at any given time. So take it slow and talk about a thing from time to time, wait for a chance perhaps, when you're kind of talking about this topic somehow already... or jump in at the deep end, figuratively speaking. That way, so directly or over time, you're able to see what it is and what it's not and can react according to it.

    Best of luck, I'll keep my fingers crossed.
    Last edited by daLira; 11-Mar-2014 at 18:24.

  8. #8


    Yeah, I'd agree with everyone here who is saying to be cautious. There are lots of good reasons not to go 24/7, but the best one is: you don't want to. That alone is reason enough not to do it. So this is definitely something to talk out with your prospective daddy. In fact, it'll be a good way to see a critical part of any relationship, which is how well you can compromise. You may have different pictures of what a Daddy/LG relationship will look like, but it can still work - IF both of you are open to compromise. The big thing is that you shouldn't be pushed into anything you don't want to do. Having a daddy would be wonderful, but it's not worth having your self-esteem and safety trashed if you get forced into things you don't want.

    I'd say talk it out. Be really clear about what you want, and make sure you understand what he wants. Then try and meet somewhere in the middle, with something that you're both OK with. If a compromise can't be reached, it's really for the best not to enter into a relationship. If you can come up with something acceptable, then it's worth a try.

    One other caution worth noting is that any sort of ageplay or related relationship can cause a lot of powerful emotional feelings to surface. I know because I've been there, with someone who lives in a whole different country. This can be a good thing, but it's worth keeping one caution in mind: It's entirely possible, and even likely, that this could lead to the desire for a romantic relationship (even if you're not thinking of that at the moment - I wasn't when we first started roleplaying). So keep in mind the kind of person this guy is. Would you be happy in a relationship with him if it came up? Are there any red flags you're aware of? I'm going to say desiring 24/7 isn't a red flag unless he insists you do it or keeps pushing you after you say no - then it's a big one. Be sure to keep that in mind as you proceed here.

    Good luck! If this works out it could be wonderful, but don't go into a situation where you're not OK. That's the most important thing to remember.

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