ok im in a bad state of being right now. my attitude has always been an "i don't give a fuck" attitude with dealing with every aspect of my life so i have never had to deal with anxiety or stress in the past because frankly i just didn't care one way or another. but recently im starting to slip into a patch of worry and stress about sending my son back to Arizona with his mother for a week.
a little back story he was concived at a rave in the desert while we were flying on all kinds of shit, most of which psycoactive. well when i realized exactly what had happened that night i checked us both into a long term rehab facility to not only try to readjust my life for the new baby but to also make sure she didn't use while pregnant. he was born there at the facility and we checked out shortly after. well not long before she slipped back into the rave scene and was back on all that shit, thats when i decided it was time to go and i took our son and moved to Kentucky with my mom. havent spoke to her since. well now out of nowhere she pops back up demanding some visitation time and suggested his spring break.
im not sure what her situation is there, if she is even still useing, what i can expect, or anything for that matter. this is my little boy, im very nervous about this. i havent been able to sleep well lately i either spend most the night just watching him sleep or take him to my room and hold him while i cry myself to sleep.
i have never had these feelings before and never this intense, i don't know what to do to actually cope with this. im loosing sleep over this and driving myself insane.