First off I'd like to say that I myself am not a ABDL fetishist but instead have other dominant and sadomasochistic kinks. The guy I am dating is extremely into ABDL and Ageplay and has introduced me to a lot of things. I have also introduced him to a few things. We are finding it really hard to find balance between our fetishes and it has become a ball of depression.
Right now he cannot have sexual intercourse with me without thoughts or involvement of his fetish. I want to know if others can relate to his needs or can offer some advice as to how fetish and other types of sexual experiences can be separated. I have read that in other relationships; ageplay etc can be done in a non sexual way and then sexual experiences are had without any fetish involvement (as an example). Any other scenarios you can add? Advice to my boyf on how to separate his fetish and try new things? He finds it difficult to get turned on without thinking about his fetish and so it seems sleeping with me is a bit of a chore. This is upsetting for both of us. He wants to try to have a break and try new things and he does enjoy sleeping me but it could be a lot better without his fetish interrupting his thoughts. Any tips on how to have a break from this fetish? To be clear this is about balance, both parties being sexually satisfied, cared for and making the most of our relationship. Any help would be appreciated.