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Thread: Binge/Purge Cycle

  1. #1

    Default Binge/Purge Cycle

    Coming to terms with being an AB/DL can be a long road for many people. Those who have AB/DL desires but have not fully accepted them are particularly prone to going through what is known as the binge/purge cycle.

    The Cycle


    The binge phase is often preceded by a period wherein one's AB/DL desires become stronger and stronger. One might find himself thinking about diapers more often and having much stronger desires to indulge. Eventually, these feelings result in the binge phase where one has a desire to overindulge in ABDL activities.

    During the binge phase, a person often overindulges in AB/DL activities and feels a much greater connection to them. This may take the form of buying a considerable amount of diapers, wearing diapers at every possible opportunity, or extensively using other AB/DL items such as pacifiers, bottles, onesies, sleepers, etc.


    After going through the binge phase, a person will typically look back on what they've done and will begin to have feelings of shame or disgust. People tend to take a step back and out of some combination of diminished interest from indulging so much and shame over doing something perceived as very abnormal, they decide that they want to be completely rid of their AB/DL urges. At this point, the person going through the cycle often swears that he/she will stop being an AB/DL and will never wear diapers again. This is where the purge phase begins.

    The purge phase is when a person rejects their AB/DL desires and tries to do whatever they think they can do to get rid of them. For some people, the feelings brought on by a purge drive them to throw away of all their AB/DL related items in an attempt to permanently eradicate the desires. The length of a purge can greatly vary between individuals. Many report it lasting as little as a week, and few report it lasting for multiple years.

    Why it Happens

    Natural Ebb and Flow of Desires

    People often go through periods of heightened and reduced interest in AB/DL activities. Members tend to report that with time and increased acceptance, the extremes tend to smooth out, such that their desires vary without creating such massive changes in behavior. It is perfectly natural to gain and lose interest in desires, and the problem is when those otherwise natural swings are destructively large. The cycle is problematic when people binge to an extreme extent wherein they spend large amounts of time and money on AB/DL desires, and then purge in extreme ways, attempting to suppress or completely eliminate all AB/DL desires.

    Lesser Acceptance Leads to More Extreme Cycles

    The binge/purge cycle tends to result from the conflict between one's AB/DL desires and one's own self-image. There's a negative stigma attached to wearing diapers and for many people, it can be difficult to accept one's desires in light of it. When a person enters the purge phase, they typically think that this behavior is not normal and that they would be better off without it so they attempt to completely rid themselves of their AB/DL interests in an attempt to be a "normal" person who isn't into something that would generally be viewed as bizarre. After purging, the desires, which have previously been rejected/suppressed, build up until they reach a point where the person enters the binge phase, restarting the cycle.

    Dealing with the Cycle

    During both binges and purges, people are generally faced with extreme feelings regarding AB/DL behavior: during binges, they typically want to indulge as much as possible and during purges, they want to completely rid themselves of these feelings by any means necessary. The key element to dealing with the cycle is moderation. If a person can strike a balance between the two extremes, they can prevent the feelings of binging or purging from becoming too strong. If overdoing things can be avoided, the cycle can be managed.

    Moderation While Binging

    When going through the binge phase, a person will be very tempted to indulge in AB/DL activities and one should do so to an extent. The feelings towards AB/DL behavior are typically quite strong during this phase and the ideal thing to do is to try and keep the feelings in check by indulging in AB/DL activities in moderation. Wear a diaper, suck on a pacifier, or do some other AB/DL-related thing but don't do it excessively. If you start to suspect that you're overdoing it, put the diapers away for a while and allow for some time to pass before indulging again. Pushing things too far by overindulging is a large part of what triggers a purge.

    Moderation While Purging

    When faced with the feelings of shame and the resulting desires to rid AB/DL feelings from one's life, it's important to remember that this phase will be temporary and that the desires will later resurface.

    No matter how strong the temptation may be, one should refrain from throwing away any diapers or other AB/DL items since these items will have to be repurchased when the desires return. This only creates additional stress one will end up going through the process of buying all the items again which can be considerably expensive, depending on how much is being replaced. When faced with the desire to throw away or destroy any AB/DL items, the ideal thing to do is to put them somewhere out of the way (such as a basement or garage). Throwing things away never helps anything so the best thing to do is to simply put everything out of sight and just try to forget about them until the purge phase ends.

    Rising Above Binge/Purge

    To ultimately defeat the binge/purge cycle, you must fully come to terms with the AB/DL desires in your life and eliminate all the feelings of shame that you may have associated with them. You need to realize that being an AB/DL is a part of who you are and that the desires will not go away, no matter how much you want them to do so. Self-acceptance of being an AB/DL doesn't usually come easily but it can be achieved. To do this, you need to stop worrying about what other people might think of infantilism and realize that:
    1. It's something that you enjoy.
    2. It's no one's business but your own and whoever you decide to tell about it.
    3. It does not cause any harm to you or anyone else and as such, it cannot be objectively viewed as wrong.

    It often takes time to recognize these points but once you're able to do so, you'll find yourself closer to accepting your AB/DL desires and ridding yourself of the binge/purge cycle. Once you've fully accepted the AB/DL desires, you'll find that it's much easier to balance your AB/DL side with your own self-image. You may still go through periods of increased interest or apathy but, as mentioned previously, this is normal behavior.

    More information on self-acceptance can be found in this article.
    Last edited by Geno; 15-Jun-2015 at 14:44.

  2. #2


    I used to do this, know exactly what you mean. I think it comes from the shame factor. I have grown to accept Im hurting no one and at the end of the day its very harmless. Stop throwing it away or it becomes an expensive fetish :P

  3. #3


    Yup, your writings bring back my high school memories. I would go through extreme binge/purge cycles. I would absolutely hate myself! I stopped doing diapery things then my diaper fantasies just got stronger and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Once I graduated and went to college I finally started excepting myself. I joined here when I was 18 and that really helped. Since then I have been stating to be active in my local Ab/DL scene and met some great individuals locally and online and I haven't been better! I even told my mother which I live with and she was excepting so I got a some jobs so I have money I was able to get diapers and now wearing them made almost all of my "invasive" fantasies go away now that I can actually act on my desires that I always had.

  4. #4


    In the case of AB/DL being nothing more than a hobby/kink/fetish, it ends up being something that is easier to dismiss. In the case where its a step beyond, you come to the realization that its something that wont necessarily go away anytime soon and becomes something that is a lot easier to live with.

    My experience...

  5. #5


    I never throw anything out but sometimes I get really upset and depressed and go into a sort of "what the hell am I doing?" and "why the hell do I feel like this?" sort of mindset. Going on sites like this and listening to my favourite music usually helps.

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by Note View Post
    In the case of AB/DL being nothing more than a hobby/kink/fetish, it ends up being something that is easier to dismiss.
    This is my experience. Being ABDL isn't integral to who I am as a person, yes it's a part of who I am but the entirety of my character and my personhood(manhood) is not negated by my diaper fetish. This has been a lesson that has been difficult for me to process and I need to remind myself daily that this is the truth. It's actually made me much happier as a result.

  7. #7


    I have repeated this cycle countless times. I am DONE with both extremes. Moderation is definitely key for me. I just ordered a few ab/dl items and I intend to keep them this time. I have a box to put them into when I'm not feeling like expressing this side of myself. So tired of feeling ashamed, asking myself "what are you doing, what's wrong with you" when nothing is the matter. My actions aren't affecting others and my dog doesn't judge me so why should I judge myself?

  8. #8


    I have never gone so far as to throw anything out (although I have thought about throwing away a bottle) because I think I just realize that for me it comes in waves. I won't have a need to wear for weeks or even months and then seemingly out of the blue (last night) I have the need to wear and sleep with my paci all night. I'm not sure why this is or what causes it, but for now I'm content in giving in to the urge whenever it strikes.

  9. #9


    The binge/purge cycle has honestly always confused me. I've never felt either extreme honestly, and that may be why. I only wear to bed, but going to bed is when I do all my little stuff. I've never had the urge to get rid of stuff, especially not now that my parents know about me. It's too much of a waste of money for me not to get full enjoyment out of it.

  10. #10


    I literally just came off of a purge cycle. I met a boy for the first time sine I began to indulge and while it didn't work out I was still afraid that he wouldn't accept me if\when he found out and I threw away a bunch of things.

    I'm starting back on a binge but this time I'm choosing to look at this differently and realize or at least try to realize that this isn't something I plan on giving up so if\when I do find someone I can choose to tell them whenever I wish but the right person for me would be open minded enough to be at least accepting of me.

    Hopefully that will keep me from purging again.

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