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Thread: How to baby someone?

  1. #1

    Default How to baby someone?

    Just got a quick question and I couldn't find any forums on this. I am an AB/DL and my GF is a little into both as well, but she has moments of wanting to be babied. I try my best, but to be honest I have no idea how to baby someone. We are long distance so it's a bit tricky. Any advice would be great!

  2. #2


    Are you talking about virtually babying somebody, or doing it in person?

  3. #3


    As you are in a long-distance relationship, I guess you'll spend more time talking than doing stuff together.

    From my AB point of view : (I never was on the caretaker side for long. Only RP a bit with a cute little Baby cub)

    I'd say what's important is close to what's important in any relationship. It is to cater for her needs when she has it.

    Try to know or find out when she's more likely to indulge and treat her as such. Talk to her more babyish. Don't go full googoo-gah as well, that would be terribly silly :p but if she yawns on skype, ask her if she had her nap today, or address her as baby or any kind of little name she may use while in little mode. If you are able to see each other from time to time, take this time to ask things like "if I was with you, would you/baby/nickname be happy with me giving her a bottle?", don't ask out of the blue, but let it go in the flow of the conversation. It's going to give you clues about what she can expect and what you can do when you're going to see each other.

    Try to find out if she's more submissive or more decision-maker, if submissive, she might expect you to take more initiative (this might be recognized by her not being straightforward in her answer, answering "mayyyybe" when she would like to say yes). If she is more decision-maker, let her create the rules.
    That seems a bit white&black, but usually, it's more in-between and you'll have to draw the line yourself between the two, very rarely is someone full submissive or full dominant.

    If you plan to be a CAREtaker, you'll have to (here comes Capt. Obvious), be CARing !
    To understand better, it's usually good to go back to a dictionary definition, kinda a basis, but hey :
    - to be troubled or concerned; be affected emotionally
    - to have regard, affection, or consideration (for)
    As you can see, it's not only attending the needs of someone, it's taking it into account but not only. this is what will make you different from a robot ready for any request of diaper changing/bottle-feeding/cuddling/.. and a loving, nurturing and caring caretaker that knows his little and can anticipate his needs.
    Of course, it'll take time, it'll take some discussions, probably some re-assessment (on BOTH parts, you and her) but if you're ready for the effort, go for it, and honestly if you like her enough, it won't feel like you're doing any effort at all.

    One last thing, don't lost sight of what you are expecting of your relationship, be aware of your own expectations and don't go doing things you don't like for her sake. Being not enough self-centered might leave you a bitter taste of "I'm doing everything for her and she doesn't" while, on her part, if she doesn't clearly see/know what YOU want, she can't magically discover it.

    Well, just my two cents, probably some wrong stuff. I don't know your girlfriend nor you and generalizing is hard.

    Good luck in your relationship !

  4. #4


    You should ask her. Being baby means a lot of different things to different people. Even if she comes to identify with/as a certain age, she may not enjoy the activities you would typically associate with a biokid of that old. And long distance makes it even harder. I was a long distance Mommy for over a year, and neither of us would have made it if we weren't dreadfully creative!

    Do you use Skype? Because Skype is wonderful.

    Nothing can replace being in RT, but it's kind of a way to make you feel like maybe you're not so far apart. You can watch as she snuggles down to bed and read her a story. I used to like to keep the program open as my SO slept, because it comforted him to know that Mommy was watching over him.

    Care packages are a wonderful way to baby someone, too. I make them all the time. They don't even have to be expensive at all. Sometimes a little something handmade, or just a letter, will go a long way to making her feel babied, cared for, and secure. Maybe think about sending her a gently-used undershirt of yours, sprayed a bit with your cologne, if you wear any. That way she has something to snuggle if she's feeling especially babyish.

    A fun thing to do is watch a movie or cartoon "together", long distance. Little girl's choice ~ You schedule a time to do it, sync up your VCR/netflix, and let the commentary roll ~ Especially on speakerphone in the dark, it's almost like you're right next to each other. Long distance can make it harder to feel like you are a part of each other's lives, but every little bit counts.

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