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Thread: Binge and purge cycles?

  1. #1

    Default Binge and purge cycles?

    I know there has been threads in the past on the Binge and Purge cycle, but I have a clarifying question.

    Since I joined last year I have come to terms with the whole Paraphilia Infantilism and accept who I am and how this effects my life. I have been doing real good with balance and control of the two aspects of my life. However for the last two months I have been having an on going issue with my clinical depression (winter season is one of my tougher times). Things have been going relatively OK as far as the Diaper Side of life. Then in the last week things have gotten a little confusing. I am not sure if it is just "excitement" from getting replacements plastic pants, because the ones last year have gotten torn and very stiff, or what.

    The last three days I have been having urges almost as bad as before I joined this group, and the dreams are back. They are not the getting caught types, or the trying to hide the fact that I am wearing like I had before my self acceptance.

    So I guess what I am asking is Does the binge cycle urges still hit hard?

    Is it still "normal", even though I can wear when ever I want, depending on what I need to be doing in the morning.

    I have been doing real good for the last seven or eight months. I have had times when I felt like wearing and there was no "Need for Therapy" that I worked out with my therapist. And I have also had some long periods were I did not wear at all. I think the longest one was 4 weeks. I have not been having any issues over the last few weeks other then the irritability and medication reaction that I am working with my Psychiatrist on. Things have improved it that department, but just over the last three days I cant stop thinking about my diapers and the want to get padded.

    Thanks for your time and consideration reading this.


  2. #2


    Sometimes you get cravings for things you like. I don't think it necessarily has to be a binge/purge cycle but I suppose it could be. I'd just roll with it if it isn't interfering with your life to any significant degree. As far as I'm concerned, binge/purge requires a nearly manic component that is rooted in self-loathing even as I indulged. The more comfortable I became with my desires, the less frequent and potent any binge/purge feelings were. It's been a long time since I've had to worry about that and I'm pretty happy with the results. Sometimes I want diapers more or less than the baseline but that's just an ebb and flow of desire like I feel for anything else that I enjoy in life.

  3. #3


    I'm having the same thing egor. When I retired, my wife said, I guess you'll be wearing diapers more. I didn't think I would, but she was right. I've been wearing every night, and most days. The thing is, I can, and it makes me feel good. When I have to go out to work in the evening, what used to be my second job, I clean up and wear my big boy underwear. But I've found that I hate regular underwear. I like the thickness of a diaper, be it a cloth pre-fold, or my Baby Pants "Almost a Big Kid" training pants, and why not. It doesn't impact on anyone except myself. That impact gives me some joy, especially through this long, cold winter in central Virginia.

    I'd suggest that you just go with the ebb and flow, like Trevor suggested. Apparently, this is the flow. It's possible that come late spring and summer, you'll have other things to do, and then wonder where your desire went. Sometimes, that's how it is.

  4. #4


    I am in a similar boat since I broke my leg. I have been wearing most of the day, tend to stop only when a friend come rounds. The rest of the time I will be wearing day and night.

    It has become a comforter while I have been off work. I know once I get back to work I will use them a lot less simply due to not having so much time to wear. I have enjoyed it thus far and know that as long as I keep it in perspective it should not start to affect me mentally.

  5. #5


    Thanks guys.
    I was just surprised at how strong the urge has been for the last few days, and wondering if this is "normal" or if something else is going on.
    I have definitely gotten to be able to tell the difference from want to wear for the heck of it and the need to wear to use it as a grounding mechanism that m therapist has suggested. This is no therapy urge. So I guess I will do it, instead of fighting to hold off until the weekend which is my usual "planned" time.

  6. #6


    Stress always equals a good bender for my self. A good bender is always followed up with an amazing purge. It's a coping strategy and I accept it as part of my life. I use the purge to accomplish things I can't while I'm binging. Haven't always thought of it this way but it works for now.

  7. #7


    Maybe this increased urge is a way of your mind or body telling you that you need to shift the balance? maybe you arent giving yourself as much time as your truly want but are telling yourself that you are?

    Judging by what you said about holding off til the weekend instead of wearing during the week, it seems this may likely be the situation ~ you are holding off more than you should maybe?

    What i've noticed to be a good balance for me is simply engaging in it whenever the mood strikes, and disengaging when the mood ceases. I haven't had a binge OR purge cycle in over 8 years (granted my "purge" cycles were simply me stopping for long periods of time and not throwing anything out) This has resulted in me wearing and not wearing in a balanced spectrum because I never wear for more time than i need to, and never go too long without wearing. I've never had the "OMG STRONG URGE" to wear because I don't wait for it to build.

    Idk if you include a desire to buy a bunch of outfits and diapers a "binge" cycle, but I love to shop regardless so I wouldn't consider it a binge.

  8. #8


    I've had really strong urges to wear, sometimes they even hit in the middle of a period of wearing a lot. The worst is when they happen and I don't have any diapers on hand, as that's caused me to do some risky (in terms of getting caught by family) things in terms of running down to the drugstore to get some.

    One thing I've noticed is that if I can look at it objectively as if I weren't a DL, it actually kind of sucks to wear a diaper in any situation besides at home (and even then...). It can get hot and uncomfortable, I occasionally have to worry about smells and deal with leaks, it's an extra thing to think about, and it can be a big timesink looking for somewhere to change (vs literally 40 seconds in any restroom if I didn't have a diaper on). And this makes sense logically, otherwise there would be lots people without this fetish who also wear diapers. It's only the fact that I have a thing for diapers that causes me to really enjoy wearing them.

    With that in mind, I started trying to make myself wear at least a few times while in the middle of a cycle of not really wanting to. That actually seemed to help moderate things a lot, perhaps partially because I wasn't going through a long period of not wearing, but I think also because it helped separate the fantasy from the reality. If I was having a strong urge to wear, I could always remind myself that it was only the urge making it seem like a really great idea.

  9. #9


    Thank you everyone for the input.

    I can usually deal with the stress and that is a definite night to wear, thus part of my "therapy". However I think CrinkleEmilyLG may have hit on something. I have not been able to indulge in a "day time role play" for several weeks and that may actually be what the issue is.

    So I may need to look at a little bit of "naughty boy" time now and again. Also this may make this summer a little interesting when the kids are home 24/7.

    Again thank you for the support.

  10. #10

    Default Our Needs

    If I was into golf (I'm not) and had two weeks off with a forecast of mostly sunshine, why would I not want to play more golf than usual? The opportunity is there and the situation is right. It is something I enjoy and does no harm to others. The cost is something I can afford. After a good game of golf I feel more relaxed, am better around people and more productive with things I need to do.

    Now what if 'golf' was replaced with diapers?

    I don't understand golf but accept it does something for others. Just because I don't understand it does not lead me to judge it as 'weird', 'selfish' or a 'waste of money'.

    Why should what works for many of us be any different from the 'wants' of others?

    Those into sailing don't need to do that. It is expensive and time consuming. But so what. If you have the income to do it and it brings you joy, I am happy for you.

    The same could be applied to pets, crafts, cable TV or gaming and so fourth. Many people do things to relax or simply as it brings them happiness. Most of these things could be seen as self indulgent and as haveing no real use.

    They don't house the homeless or bring on world peace. Yet these things are considered 'normal'.

    Why should 'our' needs be any different?

    I believe I am a better and more functional person when I embrace my a/b side.

    How is this different from golf, travel or whatever works for others?

    Why should I not enjoy what works for me?

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