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Thread: being a new AB mommy?

  1. #1

    Default being a new AB mommy?

    hi, still new here and nervous,
    was just wondering if you guys can give me any care tips for my partner for example: what to say, how to act when role-playing how to get more into a mommy role and deal with any awkwardness associated with it.
    i've been having some confusion over how it relates to sex (feeling slightly akward about the idea of sex and how it relates to AB role-play) so any help would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2

    Default

    how it relates to sex varies from person to person.
    some ABs don't even use it as a sexual release.

  3. #3

    Default

    Hi Evelynne, thanks for sharing and I hope you get the advice you need.

    Sex and role play of any kind is a very personal experience and everyone has their own preferences. I would like to start by suggesting talking with your partner about what you both want to get from the situation. You can be given all the advice in the world but only you and your partner know what makes you tick and feel satisfied. I regularly role play with others and when I meet someone new I always make a point of going through what works for each person involved. Whether its something physical, emotional or verbal I like to get inside their head. There is nothing worse then fumbling about trying to please someone when asking them how they like it is so much easier.

    In terms of adult baby role play, although I do not really part take in this, I do humiliate woman by making them act like a baby. I find that to make this successful and enjoyable a lot of verbal commands and put downs are needed. I can see this working for an actual adult baby as well. Using terms like 'oh...has the baby wet his diaper and need changing', coupled with a firm hand against the wet diaper to check it. Its just my opinion but I think a lot of babies would like this. Also a patronising voice is paramount to this type of role play. You have to use the correct voice to make any role play enjoyable and believable. If you don't come across as confident and taking control you will struggle to create the kind of power/submissive model required for this niche type of role play. Taking control of the situation is very important, the baby needs to relinquish control to the mother/father to enable each to fulfil their roles.

    For actual sex, I think it is difficult to comment as this is such a personal experience. You will need to explore what you are comfortable with. One trick I use when changing a 'baby' is to wipe across the woman's bits a little with the wipes. Also adopting hand movement to check for rash (explaining what I am doing as well) and gently pleasuring. If you are more extreme you could try using butt plugs or spanking for sexual pleasure, but again I can only explain my sexual preferences. This is really something you will need to explore with your partner.

    It can be difficult to relate a caring relationship to one of sexual fulfilment, there are so many adult babies who do not do it for sexual pleasure. I can understand how woman must find having sex with a person they are caring for very juxtaposed and out of sync with what a vanilla relationship would be. I do not think it is impossible you probably just need to get your head around the fact that the care giving side of this is role play and not real. It is hard to train your brain to switch off from what is instilled from society. I had issues with this when I was younger. Now I realise that society is not running my sex life and as long as my partner and myself are comfortable then anything is possible.

    Overall, confidence, a set plan and boundaries are all important in role play. With sex, working together to find what you are both comfortable with or want is the key to happy fun time! I wish you luck in exploring this amazing experience.

  4. #4

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    I understand it works to personal preference but my partner is kind of new to telling me this so asking him about details and such isn't quite working at the moment. I find that he just mostly gets embarrassed and fumbles with his words. What you last said about the idea being out of sync with a vanilla style does actually describe what I feel quite well. Thank you for your detailed opinion.

  5. #5

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    I know what it is like to be the embarrassed guy asking women to try new things. I can only give very generalised advice as I do not know either of you. Maybe reassuring him that he is in a safe place when he is with you and that to make this work for you he needs to be completely open. It is important to express yourself when trying new things and sharing new experiences. I am sure he will get there with your encouragement. I remember one time I met a very nervous girl who liked to be spanked and humiliated. She was finding it difficult to tell me in a clear way what she wanted. The solution I found was to have her write out a perfect session and I then had an instruction manual to follow so to speak.

  6. #6

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    There is a good book available for helping you. Someone around here mentioned it, and I found it very helpful, so I pass on the recommendation. "There's a Baby in my Bed!" is available from Amazon and others. Amazon allows you to read a few dozen pages to get the feel of it. It is written by a psychologist who is married to an adult baby.
    The basics of it is that you are essentially working with two separate individuals: One is an adult, and the other is a child or baby. You need to get to know both. As you give the baby opportunity to open up and come out safely without ridicule, you will get to know him. When he is in this mode, you can take full control, as Dexx said. Pretend you are taking care of a child of the age he presents, and be the parent. He, in turn, will be able to open up and be the child.
    The advice the book gives is to go slowly and build up gently.
    When I read this book, it taught me a lot about myself and helped me to improve. If the two of you read it together, you can discuss what applies and what does not. You can use this as a learning tool.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by pein View Post
    how it relates to sex varies from person to person.
    some ABs don't even use it as a sexual release.
    Being asexual, that would be me. Nothing about AB is sexual for me. The body gets a lil excited sometimes, but as with anything that excites my boy parts, my mind just doesn't feel...well...anything sexual. Nothing.



    Quote Originally Posted by DexxKizwizard View Post
    Hi Evelynne, thanks for sharing and I hope you get the advice you need.

    Sex and role play of any kind is a very personal experience and everyone has their own preferences. I would like to start by suggesting talking with your partner about what you both want to get from the situation. You can be given all the advice in the world but only you and your partner know what makes you tick and feel satisfied. I regularly role play with others and when I meet someone new I always make a point of going through what works for each person involved. Whether its something physical, emotional or verbal I like to get inside their head. There is nothing worse then fumbling about trying to please someone when asking them how they like it is so much easier.

    In terms of adult baby role play, although I do not really part take in this, I do humiliate woman by making them act like a baby. I find that to make this successful and enjoyable a lot of verbal commands and put downs are needed. I can see this working for an actual adult baby as well. Using terms like 'oh...has the baby wet his diaper and need changing', coupled with a firm hand against the wet diaper to check it. Its just my opinion but I think a lot of babies would like this. Also a patronising voice is paramount to this type of role play. You have to use the correct voice to make any role play enjoyable and believable. If you don't come across as confident and taking control you will struggle to create the kind of power/submissive model required for this niche type of role play. Taking control of the situation is very important, the baby needs to relinquish control to the mother/father to enable each to fulfil their roles.

    For actual sex, I think it is difficult to comment as this is such a personal experience. You will need to explore what you are comfortable with. One trick I use when changing a 'baby' is to wipe across the woman's bits a little with the wipes. Also adopting hand movement to check for rash (explaining what I am doing as well) and gently pleasuring. If you are more extreme you could try using butt plugs or spanking for sexual pleasure, but again I can only explain my sexual preferences. This is really something you will need to explore with your partner.

    It can be difficult to relate a caring relationship to one of sexual fulfilment, there are so many adult babies who do not do it for sexual pleasure. I can understand how woman must find having sex with a person they are caring for very juxtaposed and out of sync with what a vanilla relationship would be. I do not think it is impossible you probably just need to get your head around the fact that the care giving side of this is role play and not real. It is hard to train your brain to switch off from what is instilled from society. I had issues with this when I was younger. Now I realise that society is not running my sex life and as long as my partner and myself are comfortable then anything is possible.

    Overall, confidence, a set plan and boundaries are all important in role play. With sex, working together to find what you are both comfortable with or want is the key to happy fun time! I wish you luck in exploring this amazing experience.
    Oh god...To me, this kind of relationship would be just not right. But, as said, it is different to everyone. But the idea of it being a dom/sub thing...Just not for me. My ABness has nothing to do with giving up power, or being submissive. It has everything to do with being innocent, and loving. I want to be like a cute baby/toddler. I want to play with plushies and toys, I want innocence, the one thing I truly will NOT allow the world to take from me. For me, it has absolutely nothing to do with humiliation, BDSM, dom/sub, power, or sex. Just the thought of involving sex scares me. It could scar my little side. What I think is most important, is to figure out what "type" he is. He might be an ABDL who is into that dom/sub stuff, or who wants to be humiliated. It could be that to him it just leads into sex. But it mix very well be the opposite, and trying it might well drive him away if you were to get like that with him. The most important thing is to figure out what he wants, and just as importantly, what he doesn't want. At the beginning of any healthy AB/caretaker/mommy/daddy/etc. relationship, is a honest talk about what everyone wants, what everyones limits are, and what is a deal breaker for every party. In addition, you need to be getting something out of this as well.

    Another important thing to figure out, is the gender. AB's can be totally male in adult frame of minds, and have a "little side" that is female. Or the opposite. No no one can label or tag and find truly accurate groups, but here are some general ones that I see on the forum.

    "Adult Baby / AB"
    I would call these as ones like me. No sexual urges, feelings, or desires what-so-ever. Completely non sex related. For these types, it is all about innocence. They want to feel like a baby/toddler, or in some cases child. Often, even trying sexual stuff when they are in AB play, will shut them down entirely. All they want is to feel cute, innocent, and loved. They want to play and cuddle, and want to be affectionate and loved.

    "Sissies"
    These are AB's who are male and want to be dressed and treated like girls when involved in AB play. This is less about innocence and cuteness, and more about humiliation often. This might well involve sexual urges or desires in some way. It could be the humiliation is a turn on, or if they don't want to be humiliated, the cross-dressing could be a turn on. In general, these are typically males if mixed with a "little side." In short, their "baby/etc mode" gender is male, and the girly treatment is a turn on.

    "Little Girl / LG"
    LG's are typically, ot my knowledge, like what I called "True AB," excepting despite whatever their adult gender is, their "Little Mode" gender is female. This is like an adult man (or woman, either.) who acts like a man (or woman) and is fine with being that, with no qualms. Completely not trans. The only part of them that is "transgender" is their "Little Mode." These want frilly girly things, but DON'T generally want to be humiliated. For them, they are nor a boy dressed in girl things, they are little girls, dressed as a little girl should be. Cuteness, adorableness, frilly girly things, soft cuddly things, etc. Their "Little Mode" is just a girl.

    "Diaper Lovers"
    These are generally the most sexually involved. They view any ageplay, to my knowledge, as a lead in towards sex, or sexual things. I am least aware and sure regarding them, as I am not one of them.

    One should know that any of these vague categories can overlap, and a person might be more than one of these at the same time, or one sometimes, another other times. And trying to lay down exact labels or categories is just...well...it won't happen. I may have forgotten any general categories. If so, it's just forgetfulness, not me intentionally omitting it. These are just them as I, with my limited knowledge, see them/think of them.

    I think mroe than anything else, sitting down and figuring out what he is will be the most help. And figure out what the deal-breakers are for both of you. The talk will probably be very awkward, but it needs to happen. And be sure you are getting something as well.

  8. #8

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    Hello, and welcome to new motherhood. It is a wonderful but sometimes frustrating place to be. Your post text me all the way back to August 1996, when I was new to Karen for adult size babies. I was followed my instincts, and used the most realistic baby products I could use for them. If you'd like to talk don't hesitate to send me a private message.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Evelynne View Post
    hi, still new here and nervous,
    was just wondering if you guys can give me any care tips for my partner for example: what to say, how to act when role-playing how to get more into a mommy role and deal with any awkwardness associated with it.
    i've been having some confusion over how it relates to sex (feeling slightly akward about the idea of sex and how it relates to AB role-play) so any help would be greatly appreciated.
    I know this reply is lengthy, so please forgive me for that. I just want to share what I know would really work for me.

    If my wife were to become my mommie, which is my biggest desire, I would want her to take complete control of every aspect of my life. I would still act as an adult and have adult responsibilities in respect to completing the domestic duties and any other chores that she assigns me to do. She would control all the finances and money in the relationship and all property would be in her name. My role would be to worship her and treat her as my Queen and do anything she asks in order to pleasure her. In turn at home she would treat me as her baby, talking to me as a child, reminding me why I am in diapers (men are inferior to women and thus should be diapered). She would decide when and where my diapers are changed. The bathroom would be off-limits and I would use my diapers for their intended purpose. Wearing diapers in public underneath my jeans would just another aspect of my life. When out in public, she would be free to tease me about being in diapers and could bring attention (lovingly) in any way she wished as to the fact I am diapered and to the status of my diaper (wet/messy). I would hope she would even carry a diaper-bag when out in public with the word "BABY" clearly marked on it. I would hope to that she would have me drink from baby-bottles at home in order to strengthen my sucking ability so that I can pleasure her better when nursing. If there are times she wishes for me to spend diaper-free then I would hope she would limit me to wearing pretty panties. I would also hope that she would make me wear clothing that has been considered feminine in the past, such as skirts, dresses, etc. I would hope for the most part that everything masculine would be banned in her household, in respect to the fact that men no longer are qualified to wear such garments and that masculine garments are now considered feminine and belong to women to wear.

    As regards to sex, I would hope that she would notice that when she diapers me how I become excited. I would really enjoy it if when she finished putting my diaper on me and then pulling up a pair of plastic-pants over my diaper that she would rub me and baby-talk to me and tell me how I belong in diapers, and bring me to climax in my fresh diaper. She could tease me after doing so, knowing it will only be 10-15 minutes before I will be compelled to wet my diaper. On occasions I would enjoy it if she were to do this before removing my wet/messy diaper also.

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