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Thread: What do women WANT?

  1. #1

    Default What do women WANT?

    Dear women:

    It can be easy, when one is isolated and lonely, to make angry posts about not understanding you, being frustrated by you, etc. I have been guilty of that in the past and I am hoping I can control myself in the future.

    What do women want? We try to be fun to be around. We try to be funny. We're smart. We're attractive. And yet, other guys always seem to get picked over us. This is why some of us have so little self esteem, We can't figure out how to do what those guys are doing, or even what that is. And I for one, personally, don't understand despite many people trying to explain it to me, how to deal with rejection without taking it personally. And every one acts like rejection's no big deal when I talk to people about it... but it's a big deal t o me and as far as I can tell it's like I have a mental deformity that makes me see it that way and everyone doesn't understand how I feel.

    Personally, it confounds and depresses me.

    So that I can overcome my difficulties, please help me understand what you want? Because every time I think I know what that is, I'm brutally reminded that I have no damn clue. What makes you want to date a guy besides intelligence, attractiveness, etc? Why do guys like me never get picked?

    Sincerely
    Someone who's honestly trying and getting very frustrated

  2. #2

    Default

    Men know as much about what women want as much as women know as much about what men want. And that's even if we know what we want in the first place. :p

    Just keep at it, they say that there is someone out there for everyone, so surely someone will come along.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    And every one acts like rejection's no big deal when I talk to people about it... but it's a big deal t o me and as far as I can tell it's like I have a mental deformity that makes me see it that way and everyone doesn't understand how I feel.

    I just want to respond to this bit, and i have touched on it in a message as well. Look a lot of us do understand what you are saying, whether or not we have felt the same lots of us can understand it on different levels.
    But the crippling level you seem to have it at, I think I would be 99% safe in assuming we dont know what advice to give. Im personally at a loss


    Second thing, many people of all sexualities and genders can suffer such similar problems its not gender that is the cause just humans.

  4. #4

    Default

    @fantastic

    Who says that? What are their certifications? What peer reviewed journals have they published their results in?

    Sorry, half-joking, but you know what I mean. People don't come along. It takes confidence that I don't have to deal with rejection, so I try to win over girls with humor and wit, but they only become friends, nothing more. That's another thing that is so frustrating

    Are there any alternative strategies (that don't involve spending more time online in some virtual reality zoo like SecondLife?)

    - - - Updated - - -

    @ThatAndGuy

    That's why I'm in therapy, but it's been over a year and I'm still no more confident risking rejection.

  5. #5

    Default

    My tail seems to attract women...
    while it hasn't gotten me a girlfriend yet, Its scored me at least 4 dates, though all of them were during a fur con.
    unfortunately, outside of the furry world, my current status is "cougar bait".

  6. #6

    Default

    I mean, I could say the things that I want.. but I want a very specific thing you know? The guy I'm looking for is going to be different then the guy someone else is looking for, just like different guys are all looking for different girls or guys. So even if I listed all the things that I personally would be looking for in a man, it wouldn't really help this out. I can only be one woman, and am not qualified to represent an entire gender. No one is. Dx

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by DeftLeppard View Post
    ... outside of the furry world, my current status is "cougar bait".
    Well, as long as it's cats in both cases then you haven't done anything too unnatural.

    To the OP: As for what women want, if indeed there is a thing that they want, ... I have no idea what it is. Counting my marriage, I've had three multi-year relationships in my life, and all three of them started out as simple friendships. Obviously, that's not a repeatable system for scoring dates. It does, however, make me wonder whether you might be trying to move a bit too fast when opportunities present themselves. "Friends" isn't necessarily an end state.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Bartolome View Post
    @fantastic

    Who says that? What are their certifications? What peer reviewed journals have they published their results in?

    Sorry, half-joking, but you know what I mean. People don't come along. It takes confidence that I don't have to deal with rejection, so I try to win over girls with humor and wit, but they only become friends, nothing more. That's another thing that is so frustrating

    Are there any alternative strategies (that don't involve spending more time online in some virtual reality zoo like SecondLife?)
    The point is, stop trying to put so much emphasis on trying so hard. If anything, putting too much effort into trying to find that significant other can actually work against you rather than for you. It gives some woman the impression that you may just be another guy trying to get into her pants, nothing more.

    And I disagree, people do just come along, and sometimes in the most unexpected way. It may be someone you bump into at the supermarket accidentally spelling their groceries. Or maybe someone you accidently bump into on the street. Stranger things have happened when it comes to love and relationships.

    It's just gonna be a matter of trial and error until you do find that significant other.

    Or you could always hire a love guru.

    Last edited by Speck; 01-Feb-2014 at 09:53.

  9. #9
    June

    Default

    If you believe you're going to get a useful method for finding a female significant other out of a question as broad as this, I'm afraid you're probably in for some serious disappointment. Taste in a significant other is not wired to everybody of a certain sex. The amount of variables in each individual person make it very difficult to give you a useful model of how to perform well in a relationship, or even an effective piece of advice that will be substantially helpful. From this post and similar ones you've made in the Mature forum, I'm inferring that this isn't much more than a series of unnecessary catharses.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cottontail View Post
    Well, as long as it's cats in both cases then you haven't done anything too unnatural.
    when it comes to cougars, I prefer the furry kind over the ones that are like twice my age (even if they buy me drinks!) Imagine your mom flirting with you...EWWWWW!
    I simply cannot fathom why Cougars prey upon guys young enough to be their kids.....

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