I wanted to share/discuss some thoughts about the attempt to keep the sphincter continuously relaxed when diapered. Somehow like trying to pee all the time when you are diapered. This way you are not able to influence when it really happens. I think this is quite different from all those attempts to lose bladder control. One might do it for the same reason (the feeling of unconscious wetting), but it's quite the opposite thing as this is about gaining more control.
The sphincter is most of the time controlled subconsciously. That way we don't have to concentrate on not peeing all the time. Peeing however takes mental attention. It's usually a conscious act. But I think with a little practice this can be turned around.
Have you ever tried to allow the sphincter to stay opened after peeing? It takes a lot of concentration. The slightest movement of your legs, turning around etc. and you unconsciously close again. Once closed, it's very hard to return to the same level of relaxation that you had right after you've been peeing. So the challenge is to maintain the deep relaxation state. Usually this is easier when you are lying down and not moving around to much.
My observation is, that keeping the sphincter relaxed is extremely difficult for the first minute after peeing (it almost hurts not to allow it to close). But after a few more minutes it gets easier and easier. Sooner or later the bladder will try to refill and you'll have to pee again. If you've managed to keep your sphincter totally relaxed up to that point, you'll leak even the least amount right away into your diaper. This will not happen unconsciously, as you're likely still focusing on keeping relaxed, but it will somewhat happen automatically.
Trying to auto relax as soon as you are in a diaper seems to get easier each time you try that again. Similar to how it gets easier to pee into the diaper at all, which is also hard for most people when they do it for the first time.
Eventually you can condition yourself to be in a relaxed state by default as soon as you wear a diaper.
Again, I think that this is not about losing control. Rather it's about gaining more control. It's about achieving the ability to freely switch the default relaxation state of the sphincter.
If that's possible or not I can't say, but it's something interesting to play around with. At least, if you enjoy the feeling of wetting without giving the command to do so.
Anyhow, would be interesting to hear about the thoughts (or maybe experiences) of others.