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Thread: Need some advice on moving out.

  1. #1

    Default Need some advice on moving out.

    I have been getting fed up with my father's selfish attitude. He treats me like crap. Threats me whenever he gets upset. I even think he's trying to strave me. I've never been on my own, so the thought kinda scares me. Does anyone have any idea how this feels.

  2. #2

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    Liberating, and nerve-wracking at the same time. Many on here have grown up in less then ideal homelife conditions, with abuse both mental, verbal, and sometimes physical occurring, along with alcohol and drugs use, and parents who just never parented. Getting out of a place that causes you hardship and worries is one of the best moves you can make, but you need to be ready for it mentally and financially, which for some takes longer. I bailed from living with my parents immediately after I graduated, and never looked back, and I have never regretted it, even though I never had a good paying job at the time, I just had to live cheaper for the time being. Hard work, some tough times, but 25+ years later, I own my house, car, truck, motorcycle, and have a very good job which I enjoy every day. If you can afford it, even with a roommate as I had to do for the first 10 years, then what have you got to lose? No one deserves to be treated badly, especially from the very ones that created you to begin with. I hope it all works out for you, what ever you do with the situation you find yourself in. Waddles

  3. #3

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    I was practically told I was moving out pretty much the moment I turned 18. I don't think anyone would deny it's scary, but the thing about moving out is I promise that it starts getting better quickly. The first couple of nights by myself, I was scared of every bump and noise. It's the first couple of nights where a loud TV and maybe a comfort snack nearby can really help. Making sure to talk to those you love, hang out with your friends, and connecting with your internet friends is important because the first couple of days are also the loneliest.

    There is a way to avoid this, and that's moving along with a trusted friend was a roommate. It adds an added stress of adding money to a friendship, and requires both parties to be responsible and kind but if you have the right match all these problems can be easily avoided.

    I have to say though even if you can't move with a friend, that even though the first couple of nights being by yourself are hard it gets better. You start getting more confidence, you start realizing that no one is out to get you after all and that your home is at least somewhat secure. Once you start getting the bills paid you start feeling very confident.. knowing you can continue to pay for this place and be just fine. By the end it can feel very liberating, and you'll feel better and stronger after a while.

  4. #4
    CrinklySiren

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    Quote Originally Posted by babygohan View Post
    I have been getting fed up with my father's selfish attitude. He treats me like crap. Threats me whenever he gets upset. I even think he's trying to strave me. I've never been on my own, so the thought kinda scares me. Does anyone have any idea how this feels.
    I remember, when i lived with my parents, thinking that i could never make it on my own; or that the thought of having so much responsibility was too overwhelming ~ having been living on my own for almost 3 years now, all i can say is: I DONT WANNA GO BACK!

    Is life more difficult or more of a responsibility? of course, theres a lot more added stress like bills and food and all that, but honestly its one of those things that kind of hones your ability to work hard. Once the bird leaves the nest, it must learn how to fly or it will die; in a less extreme case, you will be able to take care of yourself no problem because its in you to survive and succeed; But its perfectly normal to feel fear or nervousness from it because there is a lot of uncertainty.

    I'm pretty sure i've told you before that the feelings you've been exhibiting in the last few months were normal for your age, and now it seems its time that you left the nest - so its gonna be a scary experience, but overall nothing you can't handle. Once you live on your own and are at the hands of your own freedom, nothing beats the experience of being on your own and taking care of yourself; life WILL get more stressful, but its how you deal with the stress that matters. Its because of this that I will never understand people who wanna go 24/7... I enjoy being an adult too much to be a baby forever.

    Go to a real-estate office and ask for a real-estate agent to help you look for places that are for rent. Or you can try Zillow ~ just be careful of running into fraudulent people trying to rent out or sell their forclosed house or apartment. Living on your own and taking care of yourself is a very self-fulfilling moment in life ~ i personally love it.

  5. #5

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    I've decided to go ahead and move out, but it will take time to get the money together. If anyone knows about a cheap place to rent in the west Texas area. It would help a lot.
    Last edited by KryanAshford; 18-Feb-2014 at 04:02.

  6. #6

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    I got a job right after college and moved out. A year later I got another job and moved 400 miles from home. I missed my home, my town, and to some extent, my parents, but the freedom was liberating. I got married and started my family. At first, living in a new apartment was lonely, but also exciting. Needless to say, I bought some diapers, and that was enjoyable.

  7. #7

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    Boy was moving out scary at first!

    Don't go like I did. I pretty much had decided to pack up and leave in a single afternoon, without much thought of where I was going or what life would be like. I was blessed to find a modestly priced apartment early on, but I live in a big city and had lots of options from the get-go. The most important piece of advice I can give you is to save more money than you think you'll need. Save as much as possible. Life becomes very dark and scary when you need to live paycheck to paycheck. So a little bit of money set aside, even just enough for a couple of months, can give you immense piece of mind.

    The loneliness is hard at first. But now is the time to lean on your friends and invite them over to your new pad ~ Really, you get used to it! Living on your own is such an important step to becoming an independent adult. The freedom to really craft your own life is so rewarding. When it gets hard, I find it helpful to remind myself that countless young adults have been in my footsteps and succeeded, and that I will, too.

    I may get some flak for this, but Craigslist was an effective tool for me in finding a place to rent. You have to be smart and sharp, and really know what you want, but I think it's worth looking into. If you need any specific advice on apartment hunting and what to look for (re: loud neighbors and pest control and the less glamorous aspects, etc), just ask and I'm sure someone will chime in.

  8. #8

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    Don't judge your dad too harshly. Rule #1 in the guidebook for parents of adult children: "Don't make them too comfortable or they'll never leave"

    He'll probably pass his copy on to you after you move out, marry, and have kids of your own.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    Don't judge your dad too harshly. Rule #1 in the guidebook for parents of adult children: "Don't make them too comfortable or they'll never leave"

    He'll probably pass his copy on to you after you move out, marry, and have kids of your own.
    Not to disagree with you Maxx but my father hates my guts. We end up fighting everytime we're in a room together. It's been this way s since I was a 12.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by babygohan View Post
    Not to disagree with you Maxx but my father hates my guts. We end up fighting everytime we're in a room together. It's been this way s since I was a 12.
    Got it. I wasn't there, so I don't know. On the other hand, I've had a boomerang kid (+grandkids). No way I could let that go on forever.

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