I came in here to keep working at understanding my husband while finding a way to have a voice in my marriage. Something somewhat close to equal satisfaction. I am doing my best, you all have been so great, but I guess we need the other party for things to work. He is busy behind a curtain of ADHD and self-satisfaction-comes-ahead-and-at-any-price.
I hate to believe that trying to be understanding has been a mistake, but it has. I could have not done different bc it is my nature and it is cultural. But at the end it just makes me feel taken for granted.
Ty for all your counsel. I have read all you said and all you guided me to go read. I admire you guys for having found a balance that allows your non-dp spouses to feel appreciated also for who they are.
At the end I find that I am just the pretty little Italian in his arm when we are in public. Makes him feel good. Seems all is about what makes him feel good. I am headed out of the forum but did not want to go without telling you how grateful I am for helping me try my best. Was not good enough, but I did try with all my heart.