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Thread: Mixed Feelings When Wearing Diapers

  1. #1

    Default Mixed Feelings When Wearing Diapers

    Basically, every time I put a diaper on, whether I use it or not, it is always accompanied by feelings of shame and embarrassment and humiliation - I feel as if I shouldn't be wearing diapers. And I keep thinking or perceiving that I may get health problems along with it (though this might be psychological more than anything else). So far, nobody but myself knows that I wear and use diapers, I think I would be so ashamed and embarrassed if anyone were to find out.

    I am relatively new to wearing diapers, and even moreso I've worn them on and off for a couple periods of several days. I am now about to give diapers another try soon, but I know the feelings are the same. I feel as if I shouldn't be doing it, and I feel guilt and everything I've described above. At the same time however, I find that I feel comfortable when I have a diaper on and I like when, on occasion, I decide to wet it. But the feeling is still there - I feel as if I shouldn't be doing it, as if I should stop and try to be more "normal", etc.

    So I guess my questions are -
    Does anyone or has anyone felt like this?
    Do my described feelings above mean I should stop using or trying to use diapers?
    How can one deal with the feelings that accompany this?

    Last edited by Jamie123; 24-Jan-2014 at 17:43.

  2. #2


    Hi there
    I am also new to being a DL and I learnt over several years that DL feelings never go away. I tried to suppress them however they only grew stronger to a point that I researched what was going on realised that I was not alone. I too felt embarrassment at first especially at purchasing my first pack. As part of my research I found that people have to wear them for medical reasons and as long as personal hygiene is maintained wearing them is not a problem. I started wearing diapers last year at night at and it took a while to achieve the best fit etc. I now wear diapers at home most of the time however I am now going throughout the process to wear them in public. Do not feel embarrassed or humiliated as there is nothing wrong with wearing diapers. This community offers excellent support and is a great resource and I no longer feel alone. I am starting to accept my new life as DL as this is key part of the journey that I now find myself on. I am so glad I acted on my feelings as I am a lot happier.

  3. #3


    Every AB/DL feels this way at some point or another, and some of them don't ever stop feeling this way. You're not the first and you wont be the last. The key thing to think about here is the following:

    1. who says that wearing diapers is wrong?
    2. what is "normal"?
    3. If it makes you happy, and you aren't hurting anyone, what is the problem?

    Also, wearing diapers wont give you any health problems other than maybe psychological ones ~ and to be honest, these psychological health issues usually come from an inability to accept yourself or an inability to feel accepted.

    Think critically and answer those 3 questions and then really think hard about whether or not what you are doing is all that strange or wrong. You'll find that its not wrong or crazy or anything... sure, its DIFFERENT, but we are all different.

    Also, dont try to fight it, because the desire is always going to be there ~ it is hardwired to your brain. The best thing you can do is accept it and embrace it.

  4. #4


    Those feelings sound familiar. When I was in my teens and early twenties, I felt a lot of guilt and shame about my fascination with diapers. I went through the binge-purge cycle several times.

    I dealt with the guilt by asking myself whether it's wrong to wear and to enjoy wearing diapers. I couldn't think of any reason that it would be wrong to wear diapers occasionally in the privacy of my own home. (Wearing diapers 24/7 is another story. That would create a lot of garbage, so I'd need to think about the environment.) So feeling guilt about wearing diapers doesn't make any sense.

    Shame is harder to deal with than guilt, since shame isn't always about doing something wrong. (For instance, many people feel shame about their appearance.) Usually, shame is about something you can't control. There are two ways of dealing with shame. One is to persuade yourself that you're in control of the thing you were ashamed of. The other is to persuade yourself that the thing you were ashamed of is actually good.

    I ended up doing a little bit of both. I discovered that I feel more in control if I give myself permission to indulge my desire to wear diapers occasionally. Every time I tried to swear off diapers (I probably swore off diapers "forever" four or five times), I developed a powerful, almost compulsive desire to wear them. When I gave myself permission to wear diapers occasionally and to enjoy them, the desire to wear diapers stopped feeling like an uncontrollable compulsion.

    Though I don't believe that wearing diapers is positively good (it's not good or bad), I do think that it's good to have the strength to flout social norms that don't make sense. Being willing to flout some deeply held but fundamentally irrational norms (e.g. grown men don't wear footed pajamas) takes courage. And courage is a good thing.

    Finally, I think it can be good to have a little bit of shame about wearing diapers. For me, at least, the feeling of shame is part of what makes wearing diapers exciting.

    About health: I'm not a doctor, but I think it's very unlikely that you will give yourself any health problems by wearing diapers occasionally. If you are thinking of wearing diapers 24/7 for a long period of time (say, a year), it might be a good idea to consult someone with medical knowledge. Doctors do tell men who are trying to have children to switch from briefs to boxers, so your choice of underwear can affect fertility, at least in the short term.

  5. #5


    Hi again, Jamie!

    I know these feelings, like I am "not normal" or "shouldn't have a desire to wear diapers." I also don't get them anymore.

    Ever since I read about the binge-purge cycle on (check BitterGrey's profile on here just in case I got that address wrong), I would actively tell myself, when I felt "purge" feelings, that "I was normal," that "I enjoyed wearing a different kind of underwear that I could relieve myself in, and there was really nothing wrong about that." And lo and behold... I must have believed myself after a while.

    What I'd suggest for you is, when you wear one of your diapers, to focus on the positive feelings surrounding it, because there is literally nothing wrong with your desire or your choices. No one cares, so far only you know, and the majority of people close to you probably wouldn't care even if they knew. So take care of yourself. Wear, don't worry.

  6. #6


    Even after discovering that there were other DLs in the world, I still had regular run-ins with guilt for several years. These days, though the guilt is long gone, my feelings after wearing diapers are not really positive or upbeat. Instead, there is a sort of numbness or feeling of detachment that washes over me, accompanied by a voice of reason that says, "Goodbye -- for now."

    Acceptance of this stuff just takes time. I don't think there's a shortcut.

  7. #7


    I did had those feelings, mostly when I started wearing, after using it I felt ashamed since I thought It was wrong and what could happen if someone found out.

    I can't advice if you should stop using diapers or use them more often, I can tell you that this desire doesn't go away, it may go away, for a while and then It'll come back.
    Now I don't fight this urge, I enjoy it.

    I guess the best way to deal with this feelings is, don't feel bad about it, accept it since you're not harming nor disrespecting anyone, if it makes you happy why should you feel bad about it ? As Cotontail said, acceptance takes time.

  8. #8


    I had the same feelings when I was younger. I thought I must be crazy, and my mom sending me to a shrink didn't help. Over the years I've learned to accept it. It is what it is, and it gives me a sense of peace and even security. Since you asked as to whether you should wear, I would say, when the urge hits hard, go ahead and wear. If the urge isn't there, or it's weak, then don't. You're mind and body will know when you really need to be in a diaper. Remember that you aren't hurting anyone by wearing or using a diaper. It just is one of those things.

  9. #9

  10. #10


    I also felt the same way at the beginning. I was so confused and since I couldn't get diapers made it worst. I accepted it and now I don't feel like that anymore.

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