I've looked through the forum but couldn't find a thread that answered my questions so here I am. I hope I post it on the right board.
I'm currently dating my boyfriend that I met 10 months ago. I found out that he was an AB while I was using his computer and found links to AB/DL related websites on his history. At first, I have to admit that I was a little bit scared because I really didn't know what it was. I asked for advices on a ABDL french forum, my boyfriend recognized me and we talked about it.
He explained everything to me, in a very clear way, and once I understood it, I was reassured.
He told me that I didn't need to take part into it if I didn't want to and that I could take as much time as I want to get used to it. Since, I've taken part in it a little bit : he's sleeping with a paci with me and I've bottled-feeded him few times. However, I'm not ready to see him in diapers yet but I think I'll be able to one day.
I think this experience brought us even closer than before.
I'm currently in an exchange program in Japan since September so we can't see each other IRL -until June. However, he came visiting me during the last two weeks of December. When he was here, we talked several times about it. I really felt that he needed it.
But when we were speaking, I felt a little bit lost about several points :
- He doesn't really understand how I can accept it because "it's weird". I told him that I love him and that even if it is, indeed, something unusual, it doesn't hurt anyone. He does nothing wrong and if it makes him feel good, I really don't mind that he does it.
- He's afraid that one day I realize how much this is important for him and freak out. He's afraid that he'll go too far and that I won't say anything because I don't want to hurt him. I promessed him several times that I would tell him right away if I ever feel uncomfortable.
- He keep saying that I'm wonderful and that he doesn't deserve me. And I think that it's why he often do what I want to do, buy me things, etc.
- He's afraid that I'll leave him one day because of his AB side. He even had a nightmare about it during our holidays. No matter how many times I tell him that I love him, sometimes it's like he's already resigned to the fact that we'll break up one day.
I've tried to reassure him but it's like I can't find the right words. I know that I'm the first non-AB/DL person knowing about it so it must be pretty new and weird for him too. He has hard times before to accept himself and I'm not sure he's completly managed to do it yet.
So I'm asking you : How can I reassure him ? What words should I use ? How can I make him understand that I love him - including his AB side ? How can he stop worrying about it ?
(Sorry if my english is a little bit clumsy ^^" )