I'm pretty new here and have posted previously about my struggle to reconcile my masculinity with my LG side. I've been through a really emotionally turbulent time but one of the positive outcomes of it was that I finally developed a love and compassion for myself that I thought I would never achieve. I have binged and purged all my AB gear several times in the past and now at 34, I accept that I do love dressing up and it is something that will not go away. With the help of members on here, I hope to finally find peace with my LG side and to no longer feel ashamed of it. I want to reach out for support and communicate with other ABDL's / LG's. In the past, because of the shame and non-acceptance, I never made an effort to delve deeper into the community and meet similar people online. Ironically, I used to consider sites like this and the people on them as being weird or outcasts. In my twisted logic, I'd say "I may do all the things they do, but I'm not strange like them". It was a way of protecting my ego and esteem and to avoid the shame and embarrassment of being "one of them".
It's a very private thing for me. I don't think I'll be walking through town in my tights and pink gingham dress any time soon but I would like to totally accept my love of it, enjoy it as far as I feel comfortable with and realise that it does not make me less of a human being or a man. I've even entertained the idea of telling a close friend about it whereas even the thought of doing so in the past would make me cringe with shame.
I am due for psychotherapy soon and it's a topic I'll be bringing up. I mentioned it to a previous psychotherapist before with great difficulty. I couldn't even talk comfortably about it at any great length because I felt so awkward and embarrassed. My psychotherapist was open and accepting of it; he said it was a very inventive way to give myself some comfort.
I hope now I can move forward and become happier in myself.