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Thread: Thread for Straight Men

  1. #1

    Default Thread for Straight Men

    Be honest: being a straight ABDL Guy sucks. You're constantly assaulted with statistics about how rare caregivers are for male ABDLs. Women are a whole other insecurity. Except for the personal pleasure it's given me, being ABDL makes me very pessimistic about my chances for living a happy life with an understanding woman.

    This thread is for men to discuss mens' issues as they pertain to ABDL. Women and non-hetero guys may post here but please do not contest the validity of our feelings, even if you disagree with our opinions. An opinion maybe wrong but the feelings it engenders are very real.

    I hope this thread generates some productive discussion so that we may improve our lot in life.

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    Here's a mature topic I'd like to discuss: I can't get aroused without some ABDL stimulation. Can't perform at all. I've tried different techniques of conditioning myself to get aroused to breasts and normal stuff like that but it just won't work, which leaves me in the awkward position of having to explain to women (hypothetical women, of course, I haven't dated in a long time) that I have a need to satisfy. The last time I tried to talk about this on a forum a woman on that forum got very offended at my use of the word "need" and implied that I was being presumptuous and said I was talking like I was entitled. But I know there are other guys out there who understand what I mean.
    Last edited by Bartolome; 19-Jan-2014 at 02:11.

  2. #2

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    Well, I'm female, but I actually am pretty much aroused only by diapers/pee as well. I don't find male (or female) body parts erotic at all.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaStarshine View Post
    Well, I'm female, but I actually am pretty much aroused only by diapers/pee as well. I don't find male (or female) body parts erotic at all.
    Kimba, first, thank you for commenting. I'm glad this thread didn't scare the females off. I appreciate your contribution.

    May I ask you a question: How do you deal with this when it comes to intimacy with other people? Because I still desire that, it's just hard when I can't get aroused normally, and then I'm in the position of asking the other person for help with that, and in my very limited experience it's been grudgingly tolerated and only minimally or it just totally disgusted the other person.

    I really want to have a family one day. I want to meet the right person and have a normal life. I keep telling myself that the right person will embrace ALL of me, including my toddler side. That's what my mom keeps telling me. I think of it as "that person will understand my needs." But I've been told by (other) women that thinking like that and talking like that makes me sound "entitled."

    I don't think I'm entitled. I just want to be with someone, like everyone else. I'm not any different, am I?

  4. #4

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    Well I can't really answer the first question because I've never dated >_>

    But to me, no, that doesn't make you sound ''entitled.'' I'm going to have to agree with your mother on this one. There's a quote I've seen on the web a few times, I'm not sure who said it, but it goes something like ''Those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter.'' Of course, in healthy relationships there's usually some compromise. For example, say just because your partner is okay with you being diapered that doesn't mean she wants you to wear them all the time. It doesn't even have to involve kinky stuff, say she likes a certain type of music but you don't want to hear it played all the time. It's just part of the give-and-take that is relationships.

    I don't think I'm really qualified to give any more advice than that.

  5. #5

  6. #6

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    I have had only one girlfriend in my 26 years of life. The problem is, I am asexual. The reason I call myself this is simple, I have no sex drive. In this case it's due to panhypopituitarism likely. I guess one way to describe it is that I have 2 brains. Sometimes I genitals may get aroused, but I never crave sex, nor do I want to get naked with a woman and cuddle that way. The parts can function, but nothing triggers sexual urges in the mind like they should. I had to break up with the only girlfriend I ever had because she was too sexual and I simply wasn't ready. Part of it is that I don't want sex until I am married, but other than that, the very thought makes me feel awkward. I am a 26 year old virgin, and in the end, I guess I chose it this way. I would say I regretted it, but I don't. At the time the thought of sex scared me, and what I needed was perhaps a slow leading into sexual things, and she was a bit controlling and too sexual for me. Perhaps ideal for many men, but I just wasn't comfortable with her. I wonder the same, how will I ever find someone that wants to spend their life with me, when I have no experience with sex, and would probably need to have my hand held and eased into it. As for your "entitlement" I really see nothing wrong. You should have a partner who understands and fully accepts you. As said before, this does not mean actively participates frequently, but understands and accepts, to the point of coming up with mutually acceptable compromise that benefits both parties.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousOne View Post
    I have had only one girlfriend in my 26 years of life. The problem is, I am asexual. The reason I call myself this is simple, I have no sex drive. In this case it's due to panhypopituitarism likely. I guess one way to describe it is that I have 2 brains. Sometimes I genitals may get aroused, but I never crave sex, nor do I want to get naked with a woman and cuddle that way. The parts can function, but nothing triggers sexual urges in the mind like they should. I had to break up with the only girlfriend I ever had because she was too sexual and I simply wasn't ready. Part of it is that I don't want sex until I am married, but other than that, the very thought makes me feel awkward. I am a 26 year old virgin, and in the end, I guess I chose it this way. I would say I regretted it, but I don't. At the time the thought of sex scared me, and what I needed was perhaps a slow leading into sexual things, and she was a bit controlling and too sexual for me. Perhaps ideal for many men, but I just wasn't comfortable with her. I wonder the same, how will I ever find someone that wants to spend their life with me, when I have no experience with sex, and would probably need to have my hand held and eased into it. As for your "entitlement" I really see nothing wrong. You should have a partner who understands and fully accepts you. As said before, this does not mean actively participates frequently, but understands and accepts, to the point of coming up with mutually acceptable compromise that benefits both parties.
    I'm not asexual and I still want a sex life. That requires participation, even if there's appropriate give and take.

    This is so... complicated. Maybe I AM entitled. Maybe I just want to have everything my way and can't see past my narrow selfishness.

  8. #8

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    I know you want a sex life. I never said you shouldn't. I was taking my person experience and trying to use it to create some kind of advice. I was also sympathizing with the thoughts of how difficult it can be to find someone. And at the end, I meant to make it clear that you are not entitled, you are asking for reasonable things. As for your comment a moment ago, that strikes me as little more than shame, and the beginnings of a purge cycle. You are NOT being selfish to want a partner who accepts this part of you. The only way you could be selfish is if you were unwilling to return the favor and accept them, and/or refused to compromise if it needed to happen. You do not strike me as selfish. All people have needs, it seems this woman on this other forum was simply unreasonable past the boundaries of acceptability, and ended up being very cruelly rude.

  9. #9

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    I wouldn't take the entitled comment seriously, especially if it came from only one person. Entitlement gets bantered around a lot by Republicans, and so it has become a misused word. Likewise, I don't think you should judge your chances based on one person.

    When I was dating my wife, there was much I told her about myself. I lived an exclusively homosexual life throughout college, and she was more than willing and able to deal with that. Like you, I wanted a family and a lifestyle which was more socially acceptable. This was in the early 70's. It worked for me. I love my wife, my kids, and my family. I was able to make this work, and I think you can too.

    Some of our members have suggested meeting like people on Fetlife, so that might be an option. I would guess that most of those members may only be interested in short term relationships, but who knows. I do think you would have a better long range outcome by simply dating, and getting to know other women. Falling in love can open doors to trying new things. My wife has been accepting of me because she loves me. I hope that happens to you.

    You may have to try some new things as well, and meet this future girl half way. I did it, and it gave me a wonderful life.

  10. #10

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    Thank you for everything you've said... except about fetlife. Fetlife and I don't get along. It's social networking, not dating, and they're real hardliners about that. Not a place for me. I didn't like the people I met there. They weren't very accepting of me (but who would be? I'm so negative.) But seriously thank you for giving me hope.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousOne View Post
    I know you want a sex life. I never said you shouldn't. I was taking my person experience and trying to use it to create some kind of advice. I was also sympathizing with the thoughts of how difficult it can be to find someone. And at the end, I meant to make it clear that you are not entitled, you are asking for reasonable things. As for your comment a moment ago, that strikes me as little more than shame, and the beginnings of a purge cycle. You are NOT being selfish to want a partner who accepts this part of you. The only way you could be selfish is if you were unwilling to return the favor and accept them, and/or refused to compromise if it needed to happen. You do not strike me as selfish. All people have needs, it seems this woman on this other forum was simply unreasonable past the boundaries of acceptability, and ended up being very cruelly rude.
    It was several women on different forums... but I was being very negative, they were probably reacting to that

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