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Thread: struggle with wanting to be taken care of

  1. #1

    Default struggle with wanting to be taken care of

    HI all im new to being a little/adult baby.I like wetting my diaper and sucking on my paci.I want to be taken care of bathed changed fed and have my outfits picked out for me that kind of thing.I struggle with this.Im also a submissive.I find that i get bashed often for it.I should be wanting to make my doms life easier and no one wants to take care of an adult.I also get asked often what i offer them for all the work they will be putting into it.Does anyone else have these issues?

  2. #2


    I would think that these kinds of relationships are a two way street, so it seems to me that the question is legitimate. What does the dominant get out of the relationship. One would assume that the answer is sex. I know there have been dom/sub relationships on this site that have been sexually passive, as both parties have agreed to that. There are "daddies or mommies" that enjoy being solely that, a daddy or mommy, but that does decrease the pool, so to speak.

    I suppose the other question is, what do you want out of the relationship, other than that which you've described. When we interact with another human on such a personal and intimate basis, one can't help but become emotionally involved, and then what happens?

  3. #3


    Quote Originally Posted by skittlesfirehawk View Post
    ...Im also a submissive.I find that i get bashed often for it.I should be wanting to make my doms life easier and no one wants to take care of an adult.I also get asked often what i offer them for all the work they will be putting into it.Does anyone else have these issues?
    It is not that they would not enjoy making you happy if possible, but a question of how you will impact their life. Look at it from their perspective. They are being asked to put in hours of additional work when their life is busy enough as it is. In return, they receive what exactly? Such a relationship is mutual partnership which should be for the enrichment of both lives. If you are only taking, the other person may feel taken advantage or used. Not a good feeling.

    Within both the BDSM and AB communities, the "submissive" will often struggle to find someone willing to perform the other half of the relationship. AB's and "slaves" find it most difficult because the fantasy is all about them being helpless. Very few people are willing to indulge that type of fantasy without some sort of reward in return. Without a reward, it is not worth their time. The reward may be financial (has a good job), companionship, or fulfill some other need in the other person's life. Many others struggle with this dilemma, but some do not.

    I am interested in strict bondage. While bound, I prefer to be undisturbed and left to struggle. What does a Dom get? More work? In the past, I did self-bondage (no safety observer). Within my current community, more than one person decided that my self- bondage interest was a risk to the community and should be supervised. The person supervising enjoys my company, appreciates my help, and looks forward to the few minutes of work they actually have to do. The first person would have fun applying my restraints, see that I was not going anywhere, and then go to bed. To facilitate this scenario, the person put forth the effort to find a bed capable of being used with my medical restraints. A used hospital gourney valued over $5k new weighing 600 pounds was found for this purpose. In the morning, I would be released, would put everything away and would help with the morning tasks. The second person is sadistic and enjoys putting people into uncomfortable bondage. That person would have fun applying the restraints, continue with their normal household tasks while I was bound for 1-3 hours, and then release me when appropriate. Again, the little effort required enriched their own life. A couple other people have also helped me be safely bound for 20-30 minutes; it is not something they usually get the opportunity to do to someone. In each instance, I presented a beneficial offer within the other person's interests and available time; they were all very eager to accept.

    You are not being "bashed" for being "submissive"! They are politely telling you that your expections for their time are unrealistic given what you are asking and offering. As stated above, Doms respond the polar oposite to me. Do you know how hard it is to move a gourney up stairs into a house? That person was motivated to help me out for a reason; I helped that person first. What can you change within your behavior or expectations to have others want you to be a significant part of their the life?

  4. #4


    Hello skittles ,

    This need is a difficult one as an AB, its understandable, honestly, society really makes it hard on adults to find it acceptable to receive and desire nurture. I read others' responses, so I'm a bit confused, do you want a Domme, do you have a domme, or do you want a mommy? (forgive me if thats an ignorant statement and they are the same?) Basically , do you want to be bottlefed and changed and have all the mothering a baby experience without the other aspects? I would say under BDSM, maybe this falls out of context but under AB mommies perhaps not.

    There is a website that lists some AB "sitters and mommies" who do sessions for money,
    I don't know that these listings are still valid, but if that is what you're looking for, its a list I found. I don;t know how reliable it is so you would have to take caution yourself to carefully chose someone.
    Mommy Finder

    It is a bit difficult to find a mommy. I'm sorry to say, but many ABs are in that very position as well. Not that that makes it easier or less troublesome for you, but trust me I understand. Wanting to be taken care of lovingly is for many a great part of ABDL, and thats OK , :]


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