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Thread: The feeling of shame and guilt.

  1. #1

    Default The feeling of shame and guilt.

    Hello'' I really needed to get this out in the open as I keep dwelling on it and have been for some time and I don't have anyone to talk to about it so I don't know if it's advice I'm asking for or reassurance, or though it's personal I'm going to be as truthful as I can about it. The two problems I'm having is one whenever my Gf changes me instead of enjoying the moment I feel a sense of guilt and shame, especially if my penis becomes erect when being changed, I just don't know if it's because I'm still new to the AB side or it's hard wired into my mind to feel like that, the second problem is pretty much the same only it's a bit more embarrassing and my Gf is not so understanding in which makes the feeling of shame and guilt much worse, as I have said before I used to have a bedwetting problem until age twelve and though it doesn't happen often I still occasionally wet the bed if I consume too many fluids before going to bed ,but that's not so much the problem as I normally wear Nappies to bed anyway it's just the guilty/shame feeling that comes with it, and in truth I get upset over it. Other than feeling a bit better for venting my worries is there anything I can do about it, are these feelings I'm having something to worry about and has anyone else been in a similar situation ? Many thanks, Cody.

  2. #2


    I think this is something that is inevitable when two people first starting age play or any kind of kink play. There's always the awkward first couple of times where neither of you are sure what you're doing and while there isn't any miracle device to make it less awkward I think if you give it time these feelings will pass. It might also help to have a serious talk with her about it you know explain how you feel about it and where you want to go with it as well as what your and her boundaries are.

  3. #3


    Although I have no experience with this kind of relationship, I believe that most would feel the shame and guilt at first like you are. My 2 cents? It helps the most if you simply just have a serious talk to her about it. Ask her if she is truly okay with it and not weirded out. I'm not sure why, but having someone reassure you that there is no need for shame seems to help in most situations. I'm not going to lie it will still feel awkward for a bit even after that conversation happens, but if she is really okay with the age play, then you will start to tell yourself that it's no big deal and you will get over it faster and come to enjoy yourself. Oh and for when you um, "pitch the tent" *nudge nudge wink wink*, I'd say that is something that SHOULD happen. You likely find her attractive and you know, that's simply what happens, you're a human afterall! Hope this helps

  4. #4


    I use to feel ashamed about my love of diapers and girly things. The most important thing to remember is that your not alone. Sometimes new things scare us, but that is human nature. I also have had a few people that did not understand or want to understand my love of diapers. Once you begin to understand that there is nothing to be ashamed of you will feel more comfortable. Rule of thumb, be yourself, love yourself and never lie to yourself.

  5. #5


    Its okay if that happens, don't feel ashamed. You're not bad or gross, your just who you are and thats OK buddy.

    Theres also another thing and I might be wrong , its the fact that your girlfriend is changing your diaper? Perhaps, you need someone neutral to do it, have you ever tried to find an AB mommy to change you? I know that its not easy or available to find an AB mommy for everyone, but sometimes if its someone older, or less associated with anything else besides "mommy" changing you, it becomes more "babyfying" or maybe she can say "mommy things" as she changes you, so that way you dissassociate her as girlfriend during that time?

    Sorry if this was silly advice!


  6. #6


    You're 22, you can get erect when the wind changes direction. In this case, when it's being physically manipulated, there's even more reason. It happens with babies as well if that makes it any better for you. Lie back and enjoy it. If for some reason you find yourself unable to do so, know that it will get less drastic over time.

    Your second problem is more troublesome but I think you have already found as good a solution as can be had. With a frequent bedwetting problem, provided that you have seen a doctor and there's no "cure", you get a mattress cover and wear something absorbent. That you enjoy wearing them isn't really relevant, it is a practical measure to avoid engaging in involuntary watersports with your girlfriend.

  7. #7


    Thank you for your reply, I think the problem is more me than her ,but I have spoken to her about it and asked her how she feels about changing me, she just said that she enjoys it and the feeling she gets from it is different than any other, In her own words it makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside, which has only made me feel more confused about the situation, I don't think a mummy is really for me and I don't think it would work out with my Gf ,but I have noticed becoming more AB over time have found my self starting to lose the sexual aspect of what was a very strong sexual desire to wear Nappies, maybe I'm just growing up and my hormones have started to chill out, it's really hard to explain and I don't know if I'm making any sense. The guilt/shame feeling is weird as there are two sides to it the 1st being when my Gf changes me and I become excited for the lack of better terms, I feel that guilt because I don't want it to be a sexual thing and I know my Gf feels the same way. The second thing when Is have the occasional nighttime accident the shame I feel from that takes me back to childhood as my Gf questions me about it when it happens I know she thinks I'm doing it on purpose and that could not be further from the truth. Though my Gf is very supportive I just feel way to embarrassed to tell her I feel guilt/shame I don't want her thinking she did something wrong and as she is not ABDL I think it's better to speak to people that might have had the same feeling at onetime in there ABDL life. I hope these feeling will pass over time I have accepted myself for what I am and know it will be a big part of me for many years to come. I have read everyone's replies so far and will try to take something away from them, Thank you.

  8. #8


    i saw this last night a few minutes after it was posted, but being on a basic phone typing sucks and i was to tired to say what i figured someone else would. The old saying that a man has 2 brains fits here. Some do not understand, but in my case at least, a man can have an erect penis and not be feeling sexual. I frequently ejaculate w/o any sexual feelings. Just because the penis gives a military solute does not mean you are feeling turned on sexually, be sure she understands this. Tbh, i would love someone like that. If she feels like that, she seems ideal momy material. However i can see, despite having no sex drive, why seeing the same woman sexy, and yet momyish is very awkward. It can be hard to compartmentalize those emotions for some. Most separate those and learn to turn off one while the other is being used, but that can be hard for many. But maybe i missunderstand.

  9. #9


    Having these feelings is completely normal. There have been many times where I get an erection while changing. I would like it to not happen, but it does and there is not much you can do about it. I think the more you do it the less you may get an erection, but everyone is different.

  10. #10


    The feelings you have are normal, keep your head up all will work out.

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