Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 29

Thread: Just found out about my bf being into ABDL, advice???

  1. #1

    Question Just found out about my bf being into ABDL, advice???

    Me and my bf have been together for over 4 months now. He has never once mentioned anything or hinted that he enjoyed any type of ABDL so this kinda came as a shock to me. Just recently, he has been leaving up pages on the laptop that have DL sites and pictures of girls in diapers.

    Now i am totally new to this idea and have never even heard of it until a week ago when all this was saved on the computer. Me personally, i am not into this at all and would not really want to participate. Maybe after a while of warming up i might try it out but ehhh idk. Its not my cup of tea.

    Im not one to leave someone for liking something different at all. I just wish he would come and talk to me about it because i want to understand it more. My feelings about it are really confused at the moment.

    So basically im asking, how should i bring it up since he isnt going to?
    Is he going to be less interested in me since i dont want to go along with this?
    I dont want our relationship ruined because i love him so much.
    Please, i need advice from any pov. Any advice at all will help!!!
    Thank you all!! (:

  2. #2

    Default

    It's generally a kink, though it shouldn't dominate his lifestyle or anything. From experience, you'll find with kinks that partners can bend and try new things, just to do it for the other person. This varies with person (As some are lifestylists), I'm sure, and it's no concrete way to get an answer except to talk to him. If you don't like it, though, definitely be honest about that. Hummm.... There are too many unknown variables for me to think of good advice, though I wish you two good luck.

  3. #3

    Default

    Seems pretty straight forward to me. If he wanted to keep this from you he would be way more careful about his browsing. Fairly sure he dropping some major hints which you've obviously cottoned on to hey... I mean you've found us, and managed to make an account.

    Well first off, congrats for being proactive... Second ask him about the pages you've noticed on his computer (don't try and be too keen but also don't appear judgemental .... Curiosity is a good angle) Ask a little - listen a lot....

    He is obviously trying to let you in on this which is kind of a huge deal for him, trust me on that. Just tip toe easily into it and go easy. Just let him let you know what he's into, it may be quite different to what you imagine.

    Good luck,

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by soconfused View Post
    Me and my bf have been together for over 4 months now. He has never once mentioned anything or hinted that he enjoyed any type of ABDL so this kinda came as a shock to me. Just recently, he has been leaving up pages on the laptop that have DL sites and pictures of girls in diapers.

    Now i am totally new to this idea and have never even heard of it until a week ago when all this was saved on the computer. Me personally, i am not into this at all and would not really want to participate. Maybe after a while of warming up i might try it out but ehhh idk. Its not my cup of tea.

    Im not one to leave someone for liking something different at all. I just wish he would come and talk to me about it because i want to understand it more. My feelings about it are really confused at the moment.

    So basically im asking, how should i bring it up since he isnt going to?
    Is he going to be less interested in me since i dont want to go along with this?
    I dont want our relationship ruined because i love him so much.
    Please, i need advice from any pov. Any advice at all will help!!!
    Thank you all!! (:
    You see he is afraid to come right out and say it.
    So he is leveing it around to see how you will respond to it.
    We have a lot of fear telling our G/F its something you not going to change or fix its been with me 46 years and yes I tryed to get rid of it.
    Its goes to deep into what is me as most here can tell you.
    He cares for you just doesn't know how to tell you .
    So just be kind and talk about it to him .
    He may cry but tell him its ok for him to tell you.
    Good luck

  5. #5

    Default

    Sorry you had to find out this way. We get people here from time to time asking if they should just drop hints and I thought that was a terrible way to deal with someone close to you. The cat's out of the bag now, so you can start taking reasonable steps.

    I think my best advice would be to take it slow and find out from him what this means. I could tell you what it means to me in time and so could a dozen others here and aside from a few areas of commonality, we'd likely be pretty different. Don't dive into anything immediately and don't rule anything out for all time. When I first got here, I had no interest in sharing this with anyone, even another ABDL. I expect I'm on the extreme edge that way but over time I softened on that position and I can see I was missing out on some great stuff.

    While the paraphernalia is different, there are no alien urges we're seeking to fulfill. It's all human stuff, we just take a slightly different path to get what we need. If you can look at it that way, you may find that it can be more easily accepted and perhaps even fun. Best of luck and keep communicating!

  6. #6

    Default

    Since you found us, its likely he's a member here. What's everyone think of the OP trying to friend the BF here? i'm not sure how I'd react. Ignore it? Freak? Fess up?

    His reaction will also depend on where he is on the DL to AB spectrum. A pure DL like me would probably be relieved that diapers could be more out in the open, but not necessarily interested in having you participate. Someone more on the AB side might welcome your playing along.

    Also, its possible he was intentionally careless with his internet habits in hopes that you would find out gradually... as you did.

  7. #7

    Default

    I would never want someone to find out about this, just because they happened across it. Sorry he didn't bring up to you, that way you could communicate with each other.

    If he doesn't know that your aware. I would suggest letting him know. But do it in a way you can both have a bit of space. So he can ready him self for the questions your going to have. And you can ready your self by writing down questions you may have. Trust me after you ask him something really embarrassing it will be hard to remember what you also wanted to ask. It's going to be awkward for the both of you at firsts.

    But that being said a site that I've used when trying to help people understand. Is http://understanding.infantilism.org it's a safe for work site.

  8. #8

    Default

    You only found out about it because he wanted you to, or just didnt care if you found out or not. I actually left a page up on my laptop a few days ago hoping my GF might see it and read the post. From a guy that likes diapers point of view, I like seeing girls in diapers, but I'm not really worried about my GF wearing them, I would just want her to be okay that I like to wear them, and maybe encourage or reassure that she is okay with it. Also I would freaking love it if she would bring it up in someway. He probably cares alot about you and is scared to just tell you out right in fear of losing you. Atleast thats my problem, I'd love to just be like "Honey, I like wearing goodnites" but I'm scared she might be like "Honey, I'm moving out". wasnt trying to make this post all about me, just thought it might help you understand from your guys point, since I'm in the same boat, long time girl friend, that I care deeply about and would die if I lost her, but also would like to have my diapers and not have to hide them and find times when know one is home to wear them.

  9. #9

    Default

    Welcome to the site, SoConfused. I think you are doing the right thing, trying to find out more about this topic. There's lots of good information here on ADISC. Also, along with the link that Siege89 provided, here is a link to a video produced by one of our members. Maybe this will help you understand more about us. Understanding Adult Babies

    Here's a link to a thread provided by one of our members who isn't an ABDL, but her mate is. She gives some useful information. Maybe you could use this thread to help bring up the topic.

    How to Tell Your Partner about Your AB/DLism (Advice from a non-AB/DL partner)

    As you learn more, you will probably have more questions. Feel free to post them here and I'm sure you will get lots of good responses to them.

    Once again, welcome and I hope you and your partner the best.
    Last edited by LilCoyote; 10-Jan-2014 at 04:22. Reason: Fixed broken link

  10. #10

    Default

    I agree with above responders. He has brought up the subject in this passive way. It's not a very good way to broach the subject, but he's probably embarrassed to admit he enjoys wearing diapers, and he's afraid he'll lose you.

    I would also suggest that you read many of the topics and posts on this site if you want to understand him and these kind of desires. We are a good support site, and we discuss what turns us on, what we enjoy about diapers and regression, and how we go about it, what gives us enjoyment.

    I also applaud you for coming here to this site and being open minded. I know what we do is strange, but most of us live normal (aside wearing diapers) lives. I've worked two jobs most of my life. I'm married with children and now grandchildren. My wife accepts me, and I sometimes wear diapers to bed, and often don't. I try to keep it balanced with the rest of my life. I hope you will be able to get your mind around all of this and accept this in your guy, and accept him as well. Like others have said, it's just a kink.

Similar Threads

  1. Advice for introducing ABDL to someone?
    By Kaykatt93 in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 28-Nov-2012, 03:34
  2. Need advice: Just found out a friend is AB/DL...
    By yahoocdk in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 17-Oct-2012, 06:56
  3. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 09-Jun-2012, 19:30
  4. Need ABDL diaper advice
    By BabyTommy in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 21-Jan-2012, 06:07
  5. Damn, a work colleague has found out I'm into ABDL...>.<
    By BabyBass in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 27-Mar-2011, 04:19

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.