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Thread: Gender Identity and ABDL

  1. #1
    CrinklySiren

    Default Gender Identity and ABDL

    So, I've noticed that ever since embracing my true female identity, a lot has changed (obviously, as such things do when finally realizing and embracing your true gender identity), and one of those things is my ABDL/Little mind and self-communication.

    As a little "boy", while I accepted being ABDL/Little and never felt any shame or guilt by it.. i always felt somewhat odd, almost like being male and abdl was miss-matched, of course this could all just have been part of my struggle with dysphoria. When i finally realized that my little "boy" was in fact a little girl being forced down by the idea that I was a boy, being abdl became a more comforting thing and easily communicated between my adult and child mind. I guess the simplest way I can put it is that I see my little girl and i see a cute little girl, i see a heartwarming child, I also see myself in diapers and outfits now and i feel the utmost adorable that I never felt when i pretended to be a boy. Maybe I did feel a shame in the past? Maybe it was from being a little boy instead of a little girl, almost like being an ABDL/Little boy was totally incorrect, but being an ABDL/Little girl is perfectly acceptable.

    This is not to say that ABDL boys are wrong lol just that I felt like me being one was wrong. But when i say it out loud it sounds like another venture down the dysphoria path. But i find myself having an easier time being open about my ABDL/Little habits, as well as not finding a need to hide anything from anyone regardless of who they are... almost as though accepting my female identity has made me feel like "its not necessary to feel like hiding because whats more adorable than a baby girl?".... Idk, this is how I feel about it.

    Has anyone else experienced this kind of increased comfort from accepting their gender identity?

  2. #2

    Default

    The comfort I've had is from being with accepting, open minded, people. In west Michigan they're unfortunately hard to find... So closed minded. Anyway.

    In fully accepting who I am, I changed a lot. My physical location prevents me from being open to the world (I'm actually jealous of you in that retrospect) but everything has changed. How I see myself and how I act. Even my anatomy changed a bit.

    Back on topic, what I do know is if I come to the point in my life where I can be open, I know I will be open about it all. My girly side, ABDL, my submissiveness/slave side, and my furry side. Once I find a comfortable place in life I will.

    I'm happy for you and hope more people can become more like you in terms of comfort.

  3. #3

    Default

    Oh I fully understand, Emily. It makes complete sense. When I was your age, ageplay was only possible for me while I was crossdressed as a little girl: I could never see myself as a little "boy" because "boy" and I simply never got along, even though I had made up my mind by then to live my life that way (as I believed I had no other alternative). Actually, "baby" me was the only time I crossdressed: I never did is as an adult until I actually did transition many years later. Fortunately for me at the time, my partner was of a playful spirit. (She later became much less so, sadly.) She was willing to indulge me and even make me baby clothing and change my diapers. I think she even found it cute, for a time.

    It was only in the female mindset that I could actually feel comfortable doing any of it. I wet the bed either way, but as a "boy" I was simply someone wearing diapers. As a girl I was, well, ​me.

  4. #4
    CrinklySiren

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ICkaraokegirl View Post
    Oh I fully understand, Emily. It makes complete sense. When I was your age, ageplay was only possible for me while I was crossdressed as a little girl: I could never see myself as a little "boy" because "boy" and I simply never got along, even though I had made up my mind by then to live my life that way (as I believed I had no other alternative). Actually, "baby" me was the only time I crossdressed: I never did is as an adult until I actually did transition many years later. Fortunately for me at the time, my partner was of a playful spirit. (She later became much less so, sadly.) She was willing to indulge me and even make me baby clothing and change my diapers. I think she even found it cute, for a time.

    It was only in the female mindset that I could actually feel comfortable doing any of it. I wet the bed either way, but as a "boy" I was simply someone wearing diapers. As a girl I was, well, ​me.
    Exactly! I couldn't have said it better. Like, as a boy, I always felt like being an ABDL was weird or something to be embarassed about... but as myself (girl) it seems like something I can enjoy and indulge and talk about loosely without feeling any sort of pressure... Even as an adult too. Every now and then I'll go out with friends and I'll wear a diaper under my dress or skirt or even short shorts, and I will just feel so much more comfortable being the girl I am, and wearing diapers; whereas going out back then as a guy, in regular cargo shorts and t-shirt and a diaper under... i felt so weird... almost like I felt disgusted in myself.. the idea of being a guy out in public and wearing a diaper under my clothes was something that just always bothered me. Being female now, I dont feel that anymore.

    The more I say it, the more it keeps just sounding like dysphoria lol xD silly me

  5. #5

    Default

    Let's face it: girls are able to get away with much, much more "little" activity than are boys. I see it in my school all the time. "Pajama Day," for example, is a very popular Spirit Week day...if you are a girl. So many adorable footie pajamas in the building on that day! Boys might try it, if they are very secure, but most are not. And there was a trend not that long ago with a thing called Ring-Pops: lollipops actually shaped like pacis! You never saw boys sucking on one, but girls were all over them! And for a time I even saw girls with real pacis! They think nothing of ribbons or bows or pigtails if they are feeling that way in the morning, either. Silliness is perfectly OK for girls. Boys, OTOH, just cannot do it.

    Poor boys!

  6. #6

    Default

    Also I think it's worth adding for some they can cross over from being an adult male in muggledom to being a girl when it comes being a little with no contradiction which is outside of my personal experiencing being Ts and (A) LG but in meets it's no issue so long as everybody's on the same page when it comes to the 'rules' of our playing together (respecting limits, understanding we're sharing space and so on).

  7. #7
    CrinklySiren

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by JoanneChan View Post
    Also I think it's worth adding for some they can cross over from being an adult male in muggledom to being a girl when it comes being a little with no contradiction which is outside of my personal experiencing being Ts and (A) LG but in meets it's no issue so long as everybody's on the same page when it comes to the 'rules' of our playing together (respecting limits, understanding we're sharing space and so on).
    I gotta admit though ,sometimes this presents a bit of a respect or understanding issue ~ Its really bothersome to me when people mistake me for a sissy... I loathe being mistaken for a sissy ~ by that measure, i've gone to meets before and had people refer to me as "him" or "he"... its frustrating. This is why I think the terms LG and Sissy should be separate because they both do NOT mean the same thing. Even for Males who identify as males when in adult mode, but identify as little girls in little mode; when they are in little mode, they see themselves as Little Girls, not feminized little boys. I feel that the blurred lines of TS, Sissies and cross-dressers is a HUGE issue in the ABDL community. I can't count the amount of times i've been asked "how long have you been a sissy??" on various sites in which i clearly indicate in several sections that I'm not a sissy.

    -_- alas, perhaps the future hold a better understanding.

  8. #8

    Default

    It took me a while to figure out my orientation. I remember going through a period where I wished I'd been born female, but I didn't consider actually making the transition (I have OCD about "artificial" stuff. I don't want to say unnatural because that's what bigots say, and I'm not a bigot, but I wouldn't undergo hormone therapy for the same reason I can't bring myself to eat cheez whiz or other junk food... it's "not natural" to me, even if I still wished I'd been born female. I hope no one takes offense to that because it is absolutely not a judgment against other people who feel differently, just the way I can conceptualize my feelings about it). I do not begrudge anyone who wishes to or has made the male-female or female-male transition, it's just not for me.

    My phase where I wished I'd been born a girl had nothing to do with sex or sensuality. I was VERY sensitive and frequently bullied, and always had trouble being accepted, and I believed had I been born female I would have had a better childhood because right or wrong, society expects girls to be more sensitive or emotional than boys, Rationally as an adult, I know there's no guarantee my childhood would have been any easier if I'd been a girl, and I don't have any TV or TG desires. I'm not even into Sissy Play.

    I thought I might have been gay for a while and experimented with that and bisexuality but by the time I was 18 I knew I was straight. I think being ABDL confused me a lot about my sexuality but I can't say exactly how, it was more a question: Why am I attracted to the idea of dating girls but can't become aroused to anything but ABDL? And that has continued to be an issue for me into adulthood. But it was a lot more confusing when I was 16-18 than it is now as an adult, knowing what I know now about sexuality that I didn't back then.

  9. #9
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    I'd like to take this moment to give an in-depth description of what its like to be trans in comparison to what it might seem like. Note, I am not upset or anything, I just want to clear up a few misconceptions (also, this is just what my experience is, and is for a lot of other transpeople i've spoken to)

    But first!~~ all our bodies produce male and female hormones, the hormone treatments only boost the hormones meant for the gender of which you feel you should have been, so its still quite natural.

    Let me explain what life is like for someone who is trans (at least how it was for me). Its not a case of "my life would be better if i was born (x)", but more a matter of "everything in my life feels incorrect and i feel like my very existence is false, or a lie." Imagine waking up every day and seeing someone completely opposite of the person you feel you are, with all the wrong parts, the wrong behavior, the wrong identity. Imagine everything you do in life feels like its all a routine or a show, a mask you wear because its the idea your exterior appearance suggests to the world ~ and then imagine feeling like you are constantly walking around in a mobile cage, unable to make others see you for who you are, and living with your own personal satan. Being born in the wrong body is literally like screaming inside a thick glass room and no one is able to hear you, they just look at you and think "why is this person screaming like a psycho?! They must have problems", and the most fucked up part of it all is that the glass case creates an illusion of you, so that instead of looking like a rational human being begging for freedom, you look like a normal person of your assigned gender simply losing their minds. Its for all intents and purposes "a living hell".

    Its never a thing about sexuality or sensuality or sexual orientation.. its an identity crisis. Like watching your life pass you by and not being able to do anything about it. For me, nothing I can safely do to change my body into the correct gender is too much , because to me - having been born male is unnatural. You saying that you can't go through with it because its not for you, and making the statement that you felt like your life would have been "easier", are enough reasons to suggest you aren't trans, because when you feel trapped in your own body and feel like theres no way out, there is nothing you wouldnt do to be in the right body. Its clear that you are comfortable being male, you like your shape, your hair, your body parts just fine the way they are. Which is great I wouldn't wish gender dysphoria on ANYONE, not even my greatest nemesis or enemy.

    I will add though, for the sake of balance, that women are able to get away with more differences, but men are still considered the "superior" gender. Obviously the times are changing, but I think its fair to say that girls have it just as hard if not harder than men in all ways other than self-expression. A woman can express herself any way she wants without being called gay or strange, but when it involves sexuality, they are whores or sluts or indecent ~ yet on the opposite scale, men can be as sexual as they want without judgement, but if they were to express themselves through emotions or colorful or otherwise feminine behavior, they are more often ruthlessly judged than a woman who is masculine. So on that point, i will agree with you. But both genders struggle in their own way, its really just about how we face that struggle.

    I will say this, since becoming a woman, my preparation ritual has become longer, more arduous, more tiresome, and a pain in the ass overall., and my eating habits had to change because of metabolism changes, and I have to moisturize and do painful things to create my image of a beautiful woman.... but i love it all xD

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklyEmilyLG View Post
    I gotta admit though ,sometimes this presents a bit of a respect or understanding issue ~ Its really bothersome to me when people mistake me for a sissy... I loathe being mistaken for a sissy ~ by that measure, i've gone to meets before and had people refer to me as "him" or "he"... its frustrating. This is why I think the terms LG and Sissy should be separate because they both do NOT mean the same thing. Even for Males who identify as males when in adult mode, but identify as little girls in little mode; when they are in little mode, they see themselves as Little Girls, not feminized little boys. I feel that the blurred lines of TS, Sissies and cross-dressers is a HUGE issue in the ABDL community. I can't count the amount of times i've been asked "how long have you been a sissy??" on various sites in which i clearly indicate in several sections that I'm not a sissy.

    -_- alas, perhaps the future hold a better understanding.
    I understand you completely. When you are at a meet and you are presenting as a (adult) little girl then the pronouns should reflect that as in "She has been coming x years or "We meet her at (insert site name), "Sandra is a friend of ours" and so on. I generally don't use the term 'sissy' because it's not me being Ts as I had an inner girl at a very early age and it brings a lot of baggage such as 'forced humiliation' and often a lot of sexual stuff, not that anythings wrong with sex of course, it's just you don't want it in the course of play within a group.
    Unfortunately some, not all 'sissies' see anything in a skirt or dress being little and think 'sissy' automatically. The blurring as much as I dislike labelling I would agree is a problem, not least online.
    For me -and I respect everyone is different- you're being a little when you do things like play board games, do treasure hunts, play dress up or play pretend games working with your inner kid with other peoples inner kids regardless of what groan up labels might apply so in that if you're a cross dresser, trans,. recorded from birth as being either male or female it's their inner kid you're focused on interacting with.
    At those I've been to it's fine in that way.
    Maybe the problem is the headspace the people at the meet are in?

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