Off and on I have struggled with the desire to wear and use diapers. There have been many long nights which I stayed up listening to diaper hypnosis just to release the sexual tension. Days when I would use them all day, completely dominated by them doing nothing else but building myself to a sexual peak to be released. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of ? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:21-23. I understand how difficult this addiction is and that it is ingrained into my very being, but I know that I have sinned, but Jesus has forgiven me and I will continue to fight this, a thorn in my mind that will always be with me until the day I die.