So for a long time, my fiancee has had a weight issue. As long as I've known her and some time before as well (for reference, we're both 28 and I've known her since we were 18). This has always given her self-esteem issues and she's always wanted to do something about it but has never gotten to it. Also, to be clear, she *is* very overweight. This isn't self-esteem issues making her dislike her body, it's distinctly the other way around. She probably needs to drop around 100 pounds to get to a healthy weight.
She's always been aware of this and has always had a desire to do something about it. Her problem has always been one of time and prioritizing. Let's say that you have things A, B, C, D, and E to do, but in any given day, only have time to work on three of them. You'd vary which ones you work on each day but make sure the highest priority items get the most time, right? She can't do that. She's a perfectionist and is unable to put down something until it's done and whatever she doesn't get to, she doesn't get to. Before we go further, I'll note she has a great psychologist who's aware of the issue. This impacts her life in many ways beyond the one at hand. Anyway, as a result, she's never really grabbed the bull by the horns to tackle the issue. There have been small accomplishments at point but she's never been able to sustain good habits. A major series of exams will come and all of a sudden, that pattern of eating well and going to the gym disappears because studying is all she has time for.
But recently I think she may have finally had a come-to-jesus moment about the matter. I don't know what did it, but I think she finally broke down over realizing that she's never gotten to it and that needs to change. She's gone from 18 to 28 without fixing it. I think she realized that unless she changes, she'll get to 38 with the same complaint. Then 48 and... you get the point.
But frankly, this is hitting at a terrible time. She's a pharmacy student and is halfway through her absolute busiest year of school. How busy? Last year she was a 4.0 student. This year she took on a bunch of leadership activities and went to being a 3.6 (ish) student. I know she failed two exams this year because she just plain didn't have time to prepare for them, and school/leadership literally consumes all her waking time except for the hour or two she spends on Skype with me (we live 1700 miles apart). I know the answer is "make time" and "anyone can find 30 minutes a day", but she works so much that honestly, the only way she can make time is to sacrifice schoolwork. And her schoolwork is already suffering because she took time out of it for leadership positions.
She has access to a great time gym through her school but realistically it isn't an option. First off, the drive to and from, along with preparing to go out and all that jazz, really compounds the time commitment. Second, she lives in one of the coldest, snowiest cities in the country which makes the matter really difficult besides. So that's not really an option. She has a copy of the P90X DVDs which she hasn't broken out yet (probably will after my visit concludes) and most of the necessary equipment (she lacks a chin-up bar which I guarantee is immaterial at this point). The goal is to kind of just start doing them regularly and see how they go.
As for food, I know her main issue is portion control. Neither of us makes a habit out of butter and cream-laden meals, but we both like quantity on our plates. Once in a while I spend 6-8 weeks religiously sticking to 1700 healthy calories a day and I literally never feel full. However, I've gotten her some good diet cookbooks in the last year and she's found stuff in them she really likes. So that I'm pretty sure she can stick to.
So here's the question- what can I do? I can't do this for her. I want her to capitalize on how she's been feeling lately (as I said, I get the distinct impression that she's crossed the Rubicon in wanting to change), but I know that the time is a big difficulty. And I know if she tries and fails, it'll make her a million times worse now and in the future. She already has body self-esteem issues, she doesn't need failure self-esteem issues too. But I also know that I need to treat her time as sacred. If I convince her to devote time to this out of her schoolwork that she honestly doesn't have, her grades WILL suffer.
Any advice is appreciated!