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Thread: Finding myself in a bit of a hard place.

  1. #1

    Default Finding myself in a bit of a hard place.

    Here's a topic just to refresh everybody on what I'm talking about: . As I may have mentioned earlier is that my dad told other people about my diaper fetish and act like a baby by wearing onesies, etc. This time around its nearly if not the same thing.Two days ago he comes up to the place where I live and try's to hand me some underwear he bought for me :p, as if I don't own any like in the case of an emergencey. We talked for a few mins but decided it was pointless with the very different views we have on diapers and how he thinks it as "ungodly". :p Sorry back to the main subject * clears mind*.During the time we talked one of the things that I stumbled across was that he said clearly that he will tell other people, mainly family and most friends. I said that it isn't wrong to have the desire to wear diapers and wear them.Then he proceeded to say that if it's not wrong then I will tell other people. I said that it's private and shouldn't be talked about. His motive: he is trying his best to manipulate me by telling people who are somewhat close to me or my family in general and discourage me from wearing them. With that outta the way he would even eventually know that I wasn't even using them( the underwear) even if I acceppted them(yes he is that nosy). So either way in acceppting them or not he would still be f**k up my life. All the while in the middle of this unessary shit he his giving me crap about.He is putting toilet paper on my door step and isn't stopping when Im away or asleep in the morning. I clearly said to him he is not welcome on the property. I do know about hippa, but this turns it into null and void ,and doesn't run with it as we both know that I am not incontinence. As far my personal privacy goes how would that be played out in that" it's ok to wear diapers, but don't you even stoop that low in manipulation" be played out? In the case of toilet paper I will have enough lol! :p

  2. #2


    Well personally I would file for a restraining order and press charges of trespassing and harassment. As for him telling friends and family, if you don't want them to know you can simply deny it, it's not like they are suddenly going to start groping you to check for sure. If someone was trying to manipulate me into doing what they felt was right in any way that person would be long out of my life, plain and simple. No offence but your dad sounds like an a$$hole. It's one thing to disagree with the decisions and choices our children make in life, but it is a completely other thing to actively try to destroy your own child. Only a heartless sob tries to do that to their own child.

  3. #3


    A restraining order would be a way to at least officially record that he is harrasing you. Unfortunately, you will probably have to explain to authorities why this is necessary and as such, it would become part of public record.

    Another alternative is to move to another location, this time far enough that he would have to spend quite a bit of time and money traveling to your location. This probably means to you, starting a new life, as you will also be far from current friends, other family members, family that you still are in contact with, employment or college.

    My sympathies to you, CM. I would be in a great deal of pain to be estranged from my parents, as we are very close. You are one brave, strong person.


  4. #4


    It sounds like you dad is having some psychological problems. I would think that other family members are noticing this too. I would counter by saying dad is insane. It shouldn't be hard to prove. If his harassment and threats become worse, you might seek legal council. I'm sure he can be legally gagged.

  5. #5


    I am sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds tough.

    As you say he has told other family members already, can you use one of them as a mediator between you and your father. Sometimes another person involved speaking with the person can make them see the error of their ways.

    An example from my life was when my older brother and his friends were always teasing about wetting the bed. It was expected, of course, but it did start to get out of hand. I told an aunty about it who sat my brother down with me and explained how it was making me feel. Just because it came from another person my brother saw that he was not acting correctly with his friends, and most of the more extreme teasing stopped. I know this is a little different but I am just trying to see if you have any more options.

    I hope you can resolve your differences with your father.

  6. #6


    after two weeks things are somewhat different: Update: It has been a couple of weeks since I previously talked about this subject, what's different now is I was able to zero in on a lot of this what seemed at the time to be smoke and mirrors. I may or may not have said earlier that moving out was relatively easy, but here's to why. I lied and told my parents that I was going to befriend someone they didn't approve of, now I'm 19 and legally old enough to choose whomever to hang out with. This is not to say I'll hang out with anybody and everybody. Back on topic: I told them that I wasn't going to see him anymore as well, and with that said they bought it. Months later or last Sunday we met and talked in a empty parking lot in a van and I said I was sorry and they forgave me. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt better. I thought about it plenty before, but shunned the idea and worried about it most times. We talked for longer then I anticipated to and the conversation quickly turned into " how living this lifestyle is evil". Next my mom went onto say that she looked more of this infantilism stuff up though reliable sources like and went on to say that most if not everyone who is an infantilist as had some kind of trama they went though, most likely as a child.
    It is also a retardation of dealing with life and most people, if not all end up as a child molester or end up in a mental institution unable to deal with life.
    I know that being an abdl can definitely be challenging enough, but this for the most part is NOT TRUE! Most of us carry out the responsibilities of an adult and live just ok to fine in the world. The most devastating thing I can think of is to be an abdl in a work setting, highly likely to end your carrier.
    Imagine going to work and your boss looks over and sees you dressed in oversized baby attire! To top this off he is perfectly ok with you dressing like a baby and acting like one on lunch break :P, ok now I'm fantasizing :P. case in point: both my parents went on to say that they will tell people (numbers are past the hundreds total!) in detail . Your asking what's different this time? They have contacted a prayer network in florida and said that I need to be prayed about. On top of this people are wondering why I left my parents church, the one I went to when we moved to town when I was 10. People are starting to ask " where's ChubbyMower" ? ( real name removed for privacy). They ask to late not soon enough, I would think right after I month of my absence, but over three months! It just goes to show me that the people there barley if at all cared or noticed me. As I just said they have contacted a prayer network in florida in the thousands, the details when not only become clear to that group ( which I don't care it's over 1000 miles from where I live!). What I am concerned about to a point is that it will become known about in detail to my old church, which is somewhat connected to my customer base I built up though the years with the business I have in lawn care. When It does reach this point and soon I am going to do something completely not me, I am going to be discreet about. I am not going to deny it, only given if people in general hear about it.

  7. #7


    This is appalling but I don't see that it's much different than where you were previously. Your parents are way off base and unconcerned with the facts in this matter. What's worse, apparently all they can think to do is make liberal use of emtional blackmail to compel you do the "right" thing. You can't control what they will do, so I think all you can do is go on with your life and deal if they follow through on their threats to expose you for your own good. I'm sorry you're in such a rotten situation but sometimes things go wrong and you just have to manage.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    This is appalling but I don't see that it's much different than where you were previously. Your parents are way off base and unconcerned with the facts in this matter. What's worse, apparently all they can think to do is make liberal use of emtional blackmail to compel you do the "right" thing. You can't control what they will do, so I think all you can do is go on with your life and deal if they follow through on their threats to expose you for your own good. I'm sorry you're in such a rotten situation but sometimes things go wrong and you just have to manage.
    Yeah, I kinda figured that . I would think that they would just leave it the heck alone, they know that I have aspergers and am considered to be on the autism spectrum .

    As this is a key part to this thread that I skipped over by accident.

  9. #9


    ChubbyMower, I am sorry to hear about what your parents are doing in your life. I have removed my mother and stepfather from my life over a lot of crap they were pulling, and it is a tough and emotionally painful thing to do. My mother is a manipulative and domineering person, and her husband simply caters to her every whim. Between my stepsisters, my sister, and myself, my mother and stepfather have managed to alienate all of us to the point that we have very minimal relationships with them (if any).

    Whether or not you have Asperger's, whether or not you are AB/DL, this should not matter to a parent who truly cares about their child. However, it sounds as if your parents have decided to blindly think along the lines of more fundamentalist religious dogma and they spent time finding the data that supports their conclusions. It looks like you can see just from the people here on ADISC that being into this does not make one into a pedophile, child molester, or get one locked up in a mental institution. There are people from all walks of life here, from low end jobs all the way to executives at major corporations; we have doctors, engineers, fast food workers, doesn't matter.

    Apparently you have already found the balance you need in your life with AB/DL, as you already have a few years of customer base built up with a lawn care business. This is not something you could do if AB/DL was a dominating factor in your life. What your parents are doing is out-and-out blackmail, trying to use this as leverage to bring you to their way of thinking. What they are doing is heartless on their part, they are basically saying, "if you won't live your life how we want you to, then we're going to destroy your life." My mother tried using this same tactic on me, and I would hazard a guess you have the same sort of feelings that I did: it pisses you the hell off.

    There is nothing illegal or immoral about what you are doing with AB/DL. Do you force your desires on others or are you doing something that is harmful to yourself? Are you creating a situation where you are even remotely helping someone to hurt someone else? Honestly, I can't see it. Your parents threatening you because you don't live your life the way they want you to is wrong, and more than immoral.

  10. #10


    Is there any way the OP could sue for libel? If his parents are going around, making false accusations that hurt his business, are there legal protections?

    And to the OP, Im sorry man, this sounds awful. Keep your head high and you'll do fine-no matter what peoples opinions are on your choice of underwear, I have a feeling their opinions of your parents will be much worse.

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