I had always felt weird whenever people mentioned diapers/accidents as a child, and it always bothered me whenever someone said that they needed to pee. Since these were not regular occurrences, I never really thought much about it. Until I was thirteen. That's when I started babysitting my little cousins. One of them had a bed wetting problem, and they wore diapers to bed. For some reason, I seemed to be drawn to them. I wanted to wear one and see how it felt. So I stole one and went home that night. I put it on, and I can't remember how I felt. I just remember really feeling like I wanted to use it. Once I did, I was hooked. For the next year, I stole diapers from their house and would use them and wear wet diapers to sleep. I just continued to use them and use them for about a year. Then my cousin stopped wetting the bed. I had no idea where to get my fix. It really was like withdrawal. I had become addicted to using these diapers. After I could stop getting them, almost all of my time at home was spent thinking about diapers. Where I could get them, what I could use to replace them, etc. Then I started making makeshift diapers for awhile, using plastic bags and paper towel. They were nothing like the real thing, but they gave me some sort of satisfaction. I longed for the old days, when I could get them when I wanted them and never had to worry about them running out. Once I realized what they were doing to me, i began to hate diapers. They were beginning to rule my life, and I felt helpless, like I could do nothing about my condition. I hated my love of them and I tried to deny it, but nothing helped. I just became more depressed. Eventually, I was able to direct this attention into a fetish: Omorashi. Since about 15 until 17, I satisfied my desire for diapers with soft-core porn. I tried just wetting my pants and masturbating, and it helped a lot. I got a girlfriend for the first time in over 2 years, and I started to settle. However, that desire was still there, no matter how much I denied it. Eventually, it got so strong, i went out and bought a pack of goodnites, and I was hooked again. I ended up on (what felt like) a super binge, going through a pack of them in less than a week. All the while, I still felt ashamed of my desire for them. I knew that I could never tell anyone about this, and I felt really alone. However, diapers helped me feel less lonely, they relieved stress and helped me feel good. Also, I had recently had a religious enlightenment, so I was attempting to give up porn and masturbation cold turkey. Diapers helped me with this a lot since it kept my mind occupied. I kept buying more and more, and my girlfriend started to notice that something was up. By this time, we had been dating for over a year, and I was tired of keeping secrets. She knew everything about me except for this, and I knew everything about her. I decided it was time to tell her. If we were going to stay together, she needed to know everything. So, I told her. She flipped out in the beginning, but she has slowly grown used to it. She really wants to understand how I feel and make me feel good. She loves me a lot
Anyway, here I am now. I'm still at home, hiding my desires from everyone but her. With her help, I have been able to more or less accept this and who I am. I know that story sucked, sorry for anyone who has made it this far.