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Thread: I need to regress!

  1. #1

    Default I need to regress!

    I have never really been able to regress and now I need it more than anything. I am a recovering alcoholic with 83 days sober. Today is the first day I've wanted to drink since I left rehab. It's because I got stressed at work.

    If only I could use my AB side to really help me. It helps some but I am still in adult head space. I really need to get out of my head bad guys. Please let me know of any and all ways that I can regress.

  2. #2

    Default

    I'm sure you are already aware of a few things,
    Baby powder is great, the fresh smell and feel can be quite nice.

    A teddy bear or other plushie can help, toys and all. Though I for one have never truly experienced the mindset, but I know these things help.

    Best of luck though!

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    I'm sure you are already aware of a few things,
    Baby powder is great, the fresh smell and feel can be quite nice.

    A teddy bear or other plushie can help, toys and all. Though I for one have never truly experienced the mindset, but I know these things help.

    Best of luck though!
    I don't think I've ever experienced the mindset either.

  4. #4

    Default

    Aw darlin, most of all you just need to let go.

    You know how your body muscles tense up and get tight when you're anxious? And eventually that causes pain -- in your neck, your shoulders, your back. Tension hurts. Well, your mind does the same thing. You get emotionally tense, so conscious of all the other people in the world and what they think of you, and how they see you, what you look like to them, what their reaction to you is or could be... all this energy, all this focus on other people. In the same way that you can learn to consciously relax your body when it's tense, you can learn to consciously relax your mind and your feelings too. And for some of us (AB's or the like) that can mean "regressing."

    For me regressing is just about as natural as enjoying the feel of clean sheets when I crawl into bed, so I can't really give you a how-to but I can tell you what it's like for me. When I've been "too adult" for too long I often find myself grumpy and irritable and overly demanding of everything around me. I can't cope with or "just deal with" small problems I encounter, I can't absorb things emotionally -- I start thinking things like "Well I don't want to change!!! I don't wanna do anything about it!! It just shouldn't be that way!!! Why is it all wrong!!!" etc. and sometimes that's a way into littleness: throwing a hissy fit! More often I just suddenly want my teddy bear and then I want a paci, a blanket nest, a sippy cup, one of my old favorite movies like The Secret Garden or Black Beauty ... something that reminds me of when I really was a child and it was ok for me to throw tantrums and not have answers and just only do what felt good.

    Sometimes it can help to think of yourself as shifting into someone else for a little while, you know, "I'm not gonna be Faenna anymore. Right now I'm just little Emmy and I'm five and I just wanna color in this coloring book and roll around on the floor and eat Goldfish crackers," like that. If there are things that Big Grown-Up People can't just do, then ... don't be a big grown-up person! Even if that means playing someone else for a bit. That was the only way I could let myself feel these things, in the beginning. Sometimes I still do it, and it's ok.

    Nowadays it's a very fluent process though, I just look inside myself for the cold, small, shrinking, scared place, and ask what that feeling would look like if it was turned inside out? If it was inverted, then it would be "warm, smooth, expansive, content and safe": ok, what images go with that? Being cuddled in someone's lap, my hair being petted, a cat curling around my ankle and pressing its face against my hand, snuggling up in my favorite blankie with my teddy bear, hiding out someplace warm with a bottle or sippy of something nice and calming, listening to certain music, hot chocolate with a jigsaw puzzle... Then there's a few things that I could do to feel that way, and one or another of them is bound to catch my attention.

    Currently it's crawling into bed with my teddy and my s/o, and building a lovely imaginary garden world for me to dream in when I fall asleep. But you know, whatever it is for you, in this moment right now, that's ok, and that's enough. You'll notice how conspicuously absent the sense of anyone watching, any observers, any kind of judgment is in anything I've mentioned... that's because it is the opposite of that. It's not what it looks like, it's how it feels, in a sensory and emotional way, just what it feels like to do. And I often find that means I have a nicer time as a little if I'm in a dimly-lit place or at night -- maybe instinctively, because it just presses the right buttons to release shame or the idea of an invisible audience, or maybe because darker surroundings let us pay more attention to our inner experience, and not our outer lives. Perhaps it also lets things seem more dreamlike, and lifts away some of the disbelief, so we can really immerse ourselves in what's happening instead of our doubts and thoughts.

    When you're in a little headspace, that's really all there is -- what a nice blankie, and I'm so comfy here, and that silly dog on the tv, and I wanna take a nap. Just here, and now, feelings and wishes, impressions. No forward thinking, no backward thinking -- just this. Sensory immersion. Here, now.

    It's a kind of mindfulness, for sure. And there's surely value in anything that lets you see the world that way, especially when dealing with addiction. So if regressing is too hard right now, find another way. Go for a walk in nature, work out, listen to a relaxation tape, play an instrument or work with your hands. Do something that puts you "in the zone," in flow, and then keep doing it regularly. That's so important, no matter what method you use to access it. For me, it means snuggling down into my consciousness and being a simple little girl.

    I hope this has been helpful somehow. It's really different for everyone, so you have to find your own way, but there is certainly a little kid or baby hiding somewhere in you, and making friends with them -- letting them exist, even -- is one of the most beautiful, healing, grounding things anyone can do. You can try asking, "what do you wanna do, little buddy?" and see what sort of answers appear in you. It could be a place to start

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by FaennaJo View Post
    Aw darlin, most of all you just need to let go.

    You know how your body muscles tense up and get tight when you're anxious? And eventually that causes pain -- in your neck, your shoulders, your back. Tension hurts. Well, your mind does the same thing. You get emotionally tense, so conscious of all the other people in the world and what they think of you, and how they see you, what you look like to them, what their reaction to you is or could be... all this energy, all this focus on other people. In the same way that you can learn to consciously relax your body when it's tense, you can learn to consciously relax your mind and your feelings too. And for some of us (AB's or the like) that can mean "regressing."

    For me regressing is just about as natural as enjoying the feel of clean sheets when I crawl into bed, so I can't really give you a how-to but I can tell you what it's like for me. When I've been "too adult" for too long I often find myself grumpy and irritable and overly demanding of everything around me. I can't cope with or "just deal with" small problems I encounter, I can't absorb things emotionally -- I start thinking things like "Well I don't want to change!!! I don't wanna do anything about it!! It just shouldn't be that way!!! Why is it all wrong!!!" etc. and sometimes that's a way into littleness: throwing a hissy fit! More often I just suddenly want my teddy bear and then I want a paci, a blanket nest, a sippy cup, one of my old favorite movies like The Secret Garden or Black Beauty ... something that reminds me of when I really was a child and it was ok for me to throw tantrums and not have answers and just only do what felt good.

    Sometimes it can help to think of yourself as shifting into someone else for a little while, you know, "I'm not gonna be Faenna anymore. Right now I'm just little Emmy and I'm five and I just wanna color in this coloring book and roll around on the floor and eat Goldfish crackers," like that. If there are things that Big Grown-Up People can't just do, then ... don't be a big grown-up person! Even if that means playing someone else for a bit. That was the only way I could let myself feel these things, in the beginning. Sometimes I still do it, and it's ok.

    Nowadays it's a very fluent process though, I just look inside myself for the cold, small, shrinking, scared place, and ask what that feeling would look like if it was turned inside out? If it was inverted, then it would be "warm, smooth, expansive, content and safe": ok, what images go with that? Being cuddled in someone's lap, my hair being petted, a cat curling around my ankle and pressing its face against my hand, snuggling up in my favorite blankie with my teddy bear, hiding out someplace warm with a bottle or sippy of something nice and calming, listening to certain music, hot chocolate with a jigsaw puzzle... Then there's a few things that I could do to feel that way, and one or another of them is bound to catch my attention.

    Currently it's crawling into bed with my teddy and my s/o, and building a lovely imaginary garden world for me to dream in when I fall asleep. But you know, whatever it is for you, in this moment right now, that's ok, and that's enough. You'll notice how conspicuously absent the sense of anyone watching, any observers, any kind of judgment is in anything I've mentioned... that's because it is the opposite of that. It's not what it looks like, it's how it feels, in a sensory and emotional way, just what it feels like to do. And I often find that means I have a nicer time as a little if I'm in a dimly-lit place or at night -- maybe instinctively, because it just presses the right buttons to release shame or the idea of an invisible audience, or maybe because darker surroundings let us pay more attention to our inner experience, and not our outer lives. Perhaps it also lets things seem more dreamlike, and lifts away some of the disbelief, so we can really immerse ourselves in what's happening instead of our doubts and thoughts.

    When you're in a little headspace, that's really all there is -- what a nice blankie, and I'm so comfy here, and that silly dog on the tv, and I wanna take a nap. Just here, and now, feelings and wishes, impressions. No forward thinking, no backward thinking -- just this. Sensory immersion. Here, now.

    It's a kind of mindfulness, for sure. And there's surely value in anything that lets you see the world that way, especially when dealing with addiction. So if regressing is too hard right now, find another way. Go for a walk in nature, work out, listen to a relaxation tape, play an instrument or work with your hands. Do something that puts you "in the zone," in flow, and then keep doing it regularly. That's so important, no matter what method you use to access it. For me, it means snuggling down into my consciousness and being a simple little girl.

    I hope this has been helpful somehow. It's really different for everyone, so you have to find your own way, but there is certainly a little kid or baby hiding somewhere in you, and making friends with them -- letting them exist, even -- is one of the most beautiful, healing, grounding things anyone can do. You can try asking, "what do you wanna do, little buddy?" and see what sort of answers appear in you. It could be a place to start

    Thank you so much. You are a really good writer by the way!

  6. #6

    Default

    Well I think FaennaJo covered it pretty well.I mean like she said it is different for everyone personally my lil side is never far from my mind so it's kinda easy for me to tap into it and fall into that mindset.But if it is to hard for you to tap into your AB side right now then you might wanna either find something or someway that makes it easy for you to slip into that mindset or try to find a different thing that allows you to get out of your mind and just allows you to forget your troubles and your want to drink.

  7. #7

    Default

    Get a coloring book seen some ponys one's set draw in them.
    Help get in little head space:-)

  8. #8

    Default

    A baby bottle is something that helps me a ton. You could try that with some milk or apple juice. Only thing is, is that you would have to go out and buy any of that stuff if you don't have it already.

    Good luck. You can make it through, just hold on.

  9. #9
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    I feel your pain >_< its somewhat of a task to get me to regress too. The only person that has been successful at doing it with minimal effort is my big sis :3 even just through text she makes me feel little. Though honestly, the only other thing that truly regresses me is being around others. If no one is around, i have to go all out and shower with baby shampoo, put on baby lotion, put on baby powder and a diaper (the thicker and cuter, the better), wear an adorable little outfit complete with cute socks and booties, a paci, a bottle at my side, a teddy to cuddle with and some baby perfume, and a blanky to snuggle under.

    its a lot of work and effort, but its worth it in the end when you feel like a snuggled little baby <3 just go all out xD

  10. #10

    Default

    Diapers always help me, but having a plushie, paci, and even using the scented baby wipes help me regress.
    Though I wouldn't reccommend this to you since you are trying to shake your drinking habit, but I find that a bit of hard cider before bed helps me sleep like a baby.

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