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Thread: relationship issues

  1. #1

    Default relationship issues

    Hi everyone im now in a relationship with a man.Hes been a daddy twice and i met him at a littles party with his babygirl.We hit it off and i ended up being the reason they broke up though he doesn't blame me she does.Its been a month and he asked me out.

    Please no bashing i overheard his phone call with her.She asked him not to play with me and he promised he wouldn't then hung up.I ended up giving him a bj.I kinda feel like the other woman now.

    My issue is i feel like its pulling teeth to get him to admit were in a relationship and not just fun buddies.he texts me throughout the day and we talk on the phone for a few min before bed.I just don't know hes super affectionate when we are in person.I really do like him but i just don't feel secure yet.I want like justification like us in a relationship on Facebook or fetlife.He knows i want him as my Dom and daddy.He doesn't want to play or anything until we know each other better but he has no issues with bjs.So far each time I have met him expect for the first we did something sexual together.
    i dont know what to do.

  2. #2

    Default

    There are a few things I want to ask you and comment on. First, why is he still talking to his ex and if they are broken up, what business is it of hers whether he plays with you or not? That makes me wonder if they are still together or if one of them, probably her, is having a hard time saying good-bye. I won't bash you for overhearing a conversation as long as you weren't eaves dropping.

    Which leads me to the second comment/question (you don't have to answer). You didn't say how long you have been together. You want a relationship and do nice things for him. Is he doing nice things for you? BJs are nice, but is he reciprocating? (again, no need to answer) It sounds to me like you're insecure (you even said so) in the relationship so far. Maybe it's going too quickly for him or not fast enough for you. You might want to slow things down a bit. Maybe not do the BJ thing as often, just snuggle. By the way. It sounds like he's older than you, correct?

    Time and time again here the advice is the same: Communication is the answer. Tell him what you want in your relationship. Ask him what he wants in your relationship. Be careful on this one, but is his ex still in the picture in some way? Friends? Still a little girl to him sometimes? Keep us posted. This is what we're here for skittlesfirehawk.

  3. #3

    Default

    If he promised his girlfriend he "wouldn't play" while in your presence, and then had sex with you, don't expect him to be faithful to you either. Relationships are based on trust, and respecting one another. It doesn't sound like he knows what that is. He's not committing to you because he has shown himself to be the kind of person who commits to anyone, or at least, not often. I wouldn't expect much from him, in my opinion.

  4. #4

    Default

    The phone call was when they were together.He does actually still talk to her because according to him her little side has threw a huge fit since they arent together and shes having trouble controlling it.This is something i dont get because my little is just another part of what makes me me and i dont seperate it.He does recouperate and he is older.

  5. #5

    Default

    Sometimes people say they can't handle something when actually they're being manipulative. She might be throwing her fits so he will feel guilty and go back to her.

  6. #6

    Default

    He told me they were talking and that he is totally not getting back with her.I dont think he will cheat on me.I think he just got exctied at the prospect of having another babygirl he jumped the gun with me.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by skittlesfirehawk View Post
    Hi everyone im now in a relationship with a man.Hes been a daddy twice and i met him at a littles party with his babygirl.We hit it off and i ended up being the reason they broke up though he doesn't blame me she does.Its been a month and he asked me out.

    Please no bashing i overheard his phone call with her.She asked him not to play with me and he promised he wouldn't then hung up.I ended up giving him a bj.I kinda feel like the other woman now.

    My issue is i feel like its pulling teeth to get him to admit were in a relationship and not just fun buddies.he texts me throughout the day and we talk on the phone for a few min before bed.I just don't know hes super affectionate when we are in person.I really do like him but i just don't feel secure yet.I want like justification like us in a relationship on Facebook or fetlife.He knows i want him as my Dom and daddy.He doesn't want to play or anything until we know each other better but he has no issues with bjs.So far each time I have met him expect for the first we did something sexual together.
    i dont know what to do.
    many men will serve the thing they love, sometimes to the exclusion of all else in their lives....
    the problem comes in understanding just what it is that the man in question loves. is it honesty and fidelity..... is it some sexual fetish.... does he even know what it is that he loves. and if not, how can you....

  8. #8

    Default

    In such cases, somehow I always feel tempted just to say: If he's cheating with you, he will cheat on you.
    And, uhm perhaps I'm a bit old fashioned, but I think that's just way too soon for any kind of intercourse, to be honest. Although that's absolutely up to you anyway. But mind you, some guys still have their concept of a difference between a **** relationship and a serious one.

    Well anyway, you can probably only guess what it's all about.
    So is he cheating on his girlfriend and using you too, since he's telling you that you two are together.
    Or is he afraid of telling his (ex) gf so far
    Or perhaps he wants two relationships at the same time, who knows ;-)

    It all sounds like a worst case scenario... but it doesn't need to be that way. But we had the question if love makes blind some weeks ago. I still think it does... So if you do not trust him, which is completely understandable and reasonable, then do not. Getting hurt over something like that would be the worst case scenario actually, I think.

    Still... the only thing I can say to bring light into the darkness is to talk with him. He may lie, or not, but he will understand that this is a serious problem for you.

    The only other thing I could think of would be to confront him with some friends of his and some of yours, which should try to get him into saying what he's up to/if he's in a relationship with you or not, and what it's all about with his ex gf.
    Though he could still lie, but the chance is decreasing by how much people that are dare to him, you get to listen somehow.

    "We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality."
    ...so perhaps and hopefully things will straighten out.

    Best of luck!

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    If he promised his girlfriend he "wouldn't play" while in your presence, and then had sex with you, don't expect him to be faithful to you either. Relationships are based on trust, and respecting one another. It doesn't sound like he knows what that is. He's not committing to you because he has shown himself to be the kind of person who commits to anyone, or at least, not often. I wouldn't expect much from him, in my opinion.
    This right here.

    Have more respect for yourself than to be going around giving BJs to guys in relationships who promise their GFs not to see you again. That's no way to build a relationship about love. If you just want to use him like he'll doubtlessly use you, go right ahead. Don't expect commitment or anything, though. If you're not in this for loveless sex then just don't be in this. People don't change as often as we'd like, and they certainly don't change for anyone but themselves. And they really super don't change when things work for them. Sounds like things are working just fine for the little-girl-juggler. But neither of his little girls. Also I highly doubt ya'll are the only two, based on experience with these kinds of jerks.

  10. #10
    acorn

    Default

    There is no nice way to say, your boyfriend is what is called a male-slut. He will not fully commit fully to a relationship when he has all he wants without doing so. He will never finalise with the ex for fear that you wake up and dump him. His type fear only one thing, being unattached. He will go to great lengths to always have a spare on standby in case the current relationship gets old or breaks down.

    The writing is on the wall for you if you care to read it, look to the way he treated his ex. In due course he will do the same to you. If you need reminding, he will find a new girlfriend and start a new relationship, he will begin the process of dumping you as soon as he gets comfortable with her.

    My own daughter woke up at seven one morning recently to find daddy sitting on the side of the bed having a heart to heart with her boyfriend. If I had thought there was a chance of catching him on his own, Id would have brought the polathene sspreadsheets to facilitate easier cleanup. Did you know, a chap can never have enough chum when he goes sea fishing.

    I say to you what I say to her, seeing you have so much in common; Everybody is entitled to happiness in life with a compatible partner. You will not find this happiness with a person you cannot and should not even try to trust. He leaves a trail of destruction in his wake, sooner or later that is where you will be. The longer you keep him in the picture, the worse off you will be then. Both you and my daughter deserve and should look for better than that.

    In answer to your question; No, she has not forgiven me for the morning call. All was not lost though, it was a good introduction for tosser - to the daddy in-law from Hell.

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