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Thread: Hello! Am not AB or DL, but am an ally

  1. #1

    Lightbulb Hello! Am not AB or DL, but am an ally

    Hi all. I'm a woman married to an AB. I'm trying to figure out how to manage his worries, concerns, pleasures and questions in conjunction with everyday life concerns and the like. I didn't intend to become a 'mommy' but now that I'm here, I'm not giving up on my lil guy just because of this. So I'm here to understand, to question, to cope and to grow.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by AnyaP View Post
    Hi all. I'm a woman married to an AB. I'm trying to figure out how to manage his worries, concerns, pleasures and questions in conjunction with everyday life concerns and the like. I didn't intend to become a 'mommy' but now that I'm here, I'm not giving up on my lil guy just because of this. So I'm here to understand, to question, to cope and to grow.
    Hello and welcome to the site. I'm sorry that no one has responded in three hours. ADISC is probably the best site for gathering information as we are well modded and I like to think, sensible. We are primarily a support site. That said, most of us enjoy who we are and what we do, so if you read the many threads and topics, I think you will not only understand us, but more importantly, your husband.

    My guess is that you probably have a good idea as to what your husband enjoys, at least the obvious. For whatever reason, we are attracted to wearing diapers, and for many of us, identify with being a toddler or baby. It's mostly considered a fetish, and if you look up Infantilism on Wikipedia, you'll find a very good article. There's another good article by Bittergray called, "Understanding Infantilism".

    We've discussed the why's on this site until we've all turned blue in the face (or typing hands), but there is no known accepted and agreed upon consensus. Some of us had bad, unloving childhoods, but others had very good childhoods. Please feel comfortable to become involved in the conversations. We love spouses who support their loved ones. My wife supports me, and that makes me not just happy, but gives me a strong sense of security.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by AnyaP View Post
    Hi all. I'm a woman married to an AB. I'm trying to figure out how to manage his worries, concerns, pleasures and questions in conjunction with everyday life concerns and the like. I didn't intend to become a 'mommy' but now that I'm here, I'm not giving up on my lil guy just because of this. So I'm here to understand, to question, to cope and to grow.
    Wow, I wish there were a lot more people like you out there! I know that what we do is disgusting to a lot of people and I often read that those are the ones that aren't even prepared to listen, let alone try to find out more. Hats off to you for what you're doing. Your husband is a very lucky man.

    Best wishes

  4. #4

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    I'm just a soul whose intentions are good...
    Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood...


    So at least you understand that for one thing having a desire to regress, or having a diaper fetish as I do is entirely different from pedophilia. Just as cross-dressing doesn't imply being gay. (really, this is actually believed by the dull and ignorant, who never bother unwrapping and reading their wikipedia, and forget it in a closet.

    Now don't get me wrong. We are a bunch of humans and may be a part of any other subculture you can name. I am sure there must be a pedo here and there who is ab or dl, the point being that being ab or dl doesn't imply anything at all; we can belong to any crowd you can name.Gender: we can be male, female, or even 'other' including transgendered. Sexuality: we can be gay, bi, straight, asexual or even, again, none of the above. We can be geniuses all the way down to having a low IQ. We can be quite sane or mentally ill in some fashion, though not any more commonly than in the rest of the population. We can even be religious or atheist!

    Fairly often we don't entirely 'fit in' and this can lead us to seem asocial or even anti-social. Sometimes we are such, but often it's a matter of preferring to associate with others 'of our kind'. Just like any other group... be they effeminate gay men, Mormons, 4X4 fanatics, or nuclear physicists, or speakers of Punjabi.

    Personally for instance, I am drawn to being with other furries, and/or other ab or dl people, or at least other kinky people, who may not share my own kink but can respect it, as I respect theirs. I am a bit intellectual though no more than averagely smart. There's a difference. And while I am willing to accept anyone on their own terms, I am certainly not compatible with everyone else who is abdl. It is a definite jumping off point, but I have learnt that just because two people have the same kink (or species or whatever) there is NOT any implication they share the same values or opinions.

    I will say this though... we abdl and furry people seem to have, on average, an open mind, a willingness to accept that others will differ from ourselves, and a generally high level of tolerance. I can't say if the next thought applies to people on Adisc in particular or abdl people in general, but I have found a higher than usual level of sheer niceness among us, and a less than usual incidence of bigotry, intolerance, bullying, sexism, homophobia, and the like. I am home, here... when they say home is where the heart is, I claim I understand what they mean. I feel I am among friends... friends and allies Welcome, my new ally.

  5. #5

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    I'm a DL myself
    just like sitting around in a nappy and sleeping in one heh

  6. #6

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    Thank you, Anya, for joining us here. We'll help you any way we can; the world needs more of your open-mindedness. Do you have any questions for us?

    Enjoy your stay, Anya! Welcome to ADISC.
    ~YF

  7. #7

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    Welcome Welcome!

    OK, this is not an advertisement of any sort, merely someone who read the book. There actually is a book out there, very well written, by a lady like yourself named Rosalie Bent, called "There's a Baby In My Bed." Excellent advice, reference, and a lot of great factual stuff in there. As someone who has been both a daddy and a baby (by being a daddy, I found out that I preferred to be a baby), I found myself blushing a lot, mostly because this book is so accurate and the info contained was very well researched, that it was basically the keys to the kingdom to most anyone who reads it and wants to understand the mindset of the AB.

    For what it's worth, I was married for a time to a lady much like yourself who wanted to know more, who wanted to be supportive. We made it work. Only reason it ended was me. I failed to hold up my end of the bargain on several counts, but she was a keeper. She was irreplaceable. Some significant others love the person but reject the behavior. For a lot of us, it's not a behavior, an idiosyncrasy, or anything else of that nature. It is something that is as much a part of us as our eye color. It can't be shamed out, and it can't be forbidden or banished away. If you love your guy, like I know you do already and want to understand him, instinct is probably the best guide. Know that he isn't gonna grow out of it. It doesn't work that way. I tried. Most of us just have a much more prominent, much younger inner child, and we are very in touch with them. So is he... Address the child (I mean literally and figuratively) separate from the adult. You might be surprised what happens.
    Again, welcome to this place. I don't speak up much anymore, but your post caught me. Check out the book... Enjoy the forums, and get as much knowledge as you can, because this is a good place to learn more.
    peace!

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