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Thread: lazy or practical?

  1. #1

    Default lazy or practical?

    Yea, I was a diapered bedwetter until I was 14. I'm sure I wasn't the only one. In a family with 6 kids, 3 of whom had wetting issues, and an understanding mother who just so happened to be an r.n., wetting was handled without much fuss. Diapers were the best way to keep everything dry.
    When we were old enough we were encouraged to handle our own changing. No big deal. Seeing a sibling sitting on the couch watching tv in a diaper was an everyday thing. There was the ocassional poop accident while waiting for ones turn with mom but even that was treated matter of factly.

    Fast forward a few decades. I've had several hospitalizations for acute diverticulitus and was told after the last one that one of these times I wouldn't be so lucky. The usual course of cipro might not clear up an infection and I would end up in emergency surgery for a resection and a temporary colostomy. Then have to wait 6 months to heal before enduring another surgery to hook me back up.

    I followed the doc's advise and had an elective bowel resection ( left hemacolectomy / removal of about 2' of affected large colon ) and avoided the colostomy. Healing after major surgery sucked but within a few months was as good as new.

    Except for one thing. I developed an urgency problem that worsened with time. I was told to include a bulk producing fiber supplement to my diet (think Metamucil) to keep movements firm and bulky. I was also told that my symtoms were rare and usually clear up over time. Ha!

    The urgency is so strong that I have problems making it to the bathroom in time. I'm fairly regular and the problem was mostly occurring early morning. After the many accidents and the frustration of having to clean not only myself but the bathroom and my clothing, I decided to try going back to diapers.

    I'm a deep sleeper so I couldn't rely on waking up with enough time to don a diaper before the urgency hit. The practical thing to do was to go to bed diapered. While uncomfortable at first, I soon realized how much easier my day started when I wasn't rushing off to the bathroom only to suffer a large accident ( Metamucil really increases volume and frequency).

    Often times it was the severe urge that awoke me. I would roll over on my back, raise my knees and release. Pretty simple. I also found it more convenient to wet the diaper any time I had to pee once the diaper was put on in the evening. Lazy? yea, probably. But like I said, pretty convenient.

    I've since taken early retirement and no longer have a strict morning routine
    This has led me to staying in my diaper longer. Especially since I know from experience that I regularly have 2 to 3 large bm's in the morning. Because of the amount of wetting and the enormous volume of my bm's I've made adjustments to how I diaper. In the beginning I would use an Abena x-plus. After several leaks and blow outs I began using the Abena as a liner under a pull-up cloth diaper and plastic pants. Containment is absolute and I rarely
    have issues. It's a bit bulky but mobility is surprisingly easy and comfortable.

    I can't say I haven't developed some ab/dl tendencies over the years. I can trace some of it to my bedwetting days but the last 5 years have been easier on me because I don't "hate" having to use diapers.

    So I guess it's not really a question. More of an admission and statement of fact. Yes, I'm lazy. But I justify it as being practical.

    Anyone else ?

  2. #2


    With all the hassle of changing, and laundering cloth diapers, I'm inclined to think its *less* lazy than using the toilet.

    I can relate to wearing at night just for the "early morning accident" - that happens to me too, except with urinary IC, not bowel. I usually stay dry at night but I can rarely get to the bathroom in time for that early morning flood.

  3. #3


    first and foremost, the convenience is in not having to wash sheets, clothes and cleaning the bathroom. the abena as a diaper liner under my cloth pull-up contains 99% of bm's. washing wet diapers are a breeze. it's a matter of security first and comfort second. the convenience is a by-product.

  4. #4



    Yes, I think everyone that has to wear diapers for ic at some time has been lazy and not get up...

    I actually have the opposite problem as you with bm...quite often my body needs help else sometimes it will be days, and that isn't skin will even start breaking out...

    Anyhow, on topic...

    Yes when I am laying in bed in the morning, sometime I just don't want to get up at that point, and quite often I'd not make it anyhow...I also seldom go dry if I've slept more than a couple hours in a row...

    I too appreciate not having to do sheets everyday...sometimes I will go diaper less if I've got a bad rash...I have cover on the bed so it won't hurt the matress...and washing all the bedding sucks!

    I've never had much of an issue with the abena's I use the l4 they are a bit larger, but work a bit better for me than the m4's...but, I usually used the 24/7's but, they aren't available right now...daytime, molicare if I'm not in my wheelchair, in th wheelchair I just use the abena as there isn't any issues with waddling...and changing when I'm out at the mall or something where I'm using the wheelchair isn't always easy...I change lying down, one bad foot equals bad balance...nothing like falling over in a bathroom stall and having the door pop open...

    Places need more "family" restrooms...

  5. #5


    This guilt thing gets in the way all the time. Feel guilty if I am "lazy" and use my diaper when it might not be absolutely unavoidable (sorry about the terrible unintentional pun) and guilty if i go without a diaper and have an accident in my pants leading to laundry or fresh sheets. The rational part of me understands that what is important is to manage incontinence as well as possible - but the "common sense" approach of spotting where necessity meets convenience and accepting the inevitable need to use protection is easier said than done when there is always in the back of your mind a shadowy figure from the past saying "You really must try harder"

  6. #6



    You know don't feel guilty at all...

    Just wear and use as need be...even if it was just easier...

    We all have enough guilt over being ic...and if you were like me had parents that tried very hard to force you to stop wetting...which is some of the reason I don't have a close relationship with my parents...

    Now, Ann and anyone else's nothing to feel guilty about, it's actually more work to use diapers than the loo, and why once you've spent the energy to keep your clothing dry should you or anyone worry about making it to the loo...that's just ridiculous...

    So, everyone stop being so hard on ourselves!

  7. #7


    I have frequent and severe urge urinary incontinence and need to wear a diaper 24/7. As long as I have to wear a diaper, I figure that I may as well use my diapers in a way that minimizes inconvenience. That means that when it's more convenient to use the toilet, i use the toilet; and when it's more convenient to use my diaper, I use my diaper. During the day, I probably pee in the toilet one third of the time and in my diaper two thirds of the time. At night, I always wet my diaper so that my sleep is interrupted as little as possible. Fortunately, I do not have any tendency toward faecal incontinence. So I always use the toilet for "number two."

    When I was younger, I felt guilty about using my diaper unless it was absolutely unavoidable. Fortunately, during middle age, the "big boys should always use the toilet" part of my toilet training wore off! And now I'm old enough that no one finds it surprising that I need diapers

  8. #8


    Wearing and using diapers is a big exercise in logistics. We make decisions about changing all the time based upon certain criteria. Some of those, for me at least, are convenience, cost, security, going out in a diaper (and not wanting to change in a public facility), and the fullness of the diaper I'm presently wearing. While I'm safe when a bathroom is near it's still safer yet to wear a diaper. And it's more convenient to use my diaper than to partially disrobe in order to use a toilet, although I'll do that if extending the time period in that diaper becomes a consideration. Is wetting my diaper for the sake of convenience lazy? Or is it making the best out of a situation? I'm OK with either one.

  9. #9


    I think using diapers for bedwetting or incontinence issues makes since and it makes handling those situations easier.

  10. #10


    hi !,

    i dont feel guilty about wearing diapers, and the public restrooms around here are non existent,and as yuk as hell if you can find one... i rather use my diaper and be safe from infections and so on then walking in a used diaper... our trains have banned the toilets so if you have to take the train and nature calls you got a problem... and seeing more people publicly wear a diaper and sometimes smell one is almost normal in trains... in short, i'm not lazy, but sometimes i cant make it, and the safety of being diapered in trains and when walking in the city and the lack of public restrooms make me have to wear diapers even if i wasnt IC

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