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Thread: Being a Mommy - Basics?

  1. #1

    Question Being a Mommy - Basics?

    Hello yet again wonderful forum people!

    Today I write to you with more questions and desires for suggestions, although my previous thread of questions will soon be resurrected as well as I don't yet have enough on that one either.

    Summary: I've recently made a new nappie loving AB friend who's also trans (mtf), we're both still presenting entirely male at this point but obviously identify both as females. Now, the conundrum I'm having is...well, I'd like to try and be a mommy to her the best I can despite bodily restrictions on both sides...I also would like some things she can do for my "little" self which I'm still very much struggling to find and embrace (that other thread I mentioned)

    Anyways, I was hoping I could get some input on what kinds of things I can do for her as a Mommy (and that she can do for me) and how some of you might suggest I approach the role due to the whole still-having-a-male-body-thing and her having the same conundrum...the main factor for me at least is building a strong maternal bond with her (and vice versa) and of course having lots of fun :3

    but yeah, anything you lot can offer would be again appreciated

  2. #2


    I don't know much about this subject so bear with me please. I am very new to this scene,
    and while I am a man. I also have a LB, and LG side. I was confused on how to go about RP
    as a LG because obviously I do not look like, and do not act like a girl when I am in the adult mindset.

    I thought about that for awhile. Then I discovered that if I just believe I am a LG then those feelings will go beyond just the mental process. I mean that if you just let yourself be a mommy.
    You will instinctively exude, and rub that off on someone else. You can build a meaningful relationship. Though it does take two to tango.

    Hope I helped, and if not then there are plenty here.

  3. #3


    Well, part of my question is addressing the mindsets and dealing with body dysphoria feelings, and the other is suggestions on activities/things I can do with her, I already diaper her, cuddle her and stroke her hair and tell her she's a good girl and that I love her, but aside from that I'm kinda at a loss of what else to do/have her do in return? - there's been brief talks of 'breastfeeding' on both sides (essentially just soothing nursing with no actual milk involved) and I also wouldn't mind hearing people's opinions on that (ie is just suckling soothing and something others do? is it effective? any other details to expand the experience?), I did feel more connected to her when I briefly 'nursed' from her one time - it actually made me embrace my "little" self the most I ever have while in that moment ^_^

  4. #4


    well this certainly is other responses yet? guess it's time to bump...

  5. #5


    Well, I've only been cared for/cared for someone else over the internet, so I'm not sure how this translates to real life, but I do have a few thoughts.

    I'm an LG, and while I don't wish to transition to female full-time, there are times when I want to express my femininity. Being little is one of those times. So I get what that feels like, wanting to have that side of yourself affirmed. The single most valuable things I got in this respect was being able to show myself as a little girl to someone else and not be mocked, but affirmed. Being told I was OK for wanting to be an LG - and later, told I looked cute in a dress and diapers - was a huge first step to me feeling safe enough to regress. Be sure to affirm your little one's feelings. Even though she knows you accept her, she'll feel so much safer when she adopts the role in front of you and is embraced for it.

    Also, I don't know how much you've done this, but it's important to talk first. Before my mommy and I ever roleplayed, we had a lengthy chat about the scenario. We talked about our respective personalities as caregiver and little (for example, it was important for her to know that I find raised voices really upsetting when I'm little, to make sure that didn't happen during the roleplay). We talked about boundaries - and this is a huge topic. What's OK, and what isn't? If either of you really doesn't want something to happen, be very clear on that, and respect each other's wishes no matter what. Being safe, physically and emotionally, is the most important part of all. Get to know who your little one is as a person before you jump into the roleplay. If you have some ideas about what they're like, their preferences, and what they're hoping to get out of the roleplay, you'll be able to care for them much better, and you'll find more joy from being a caregiver.

    As for activities, that depends on what you're both into. I will say, this is where the Internet is actually helpful. If you do a text-based roleplay, you can do anything you like! Most of our RPs have been text-based, and it means that my Mommy can take me to the library all dolled up in my cutest dresses, or I can take my little one to the zoo...things that aren't happening IRL! Text-based RPs are a good way to actually experience being an LG. Your little one can get all dressed up, and follow along by doing the actions as best they can. It's a lot of fun, and a great way to try a bunch of new things! It sounds like you might be playing more IRL though. I've never done this, but my impressions are that you can still have lots of fun and get into the little mindset. Obviously you're limited to wherever you have privacy, but I think by talking about what you'd like to do beforehand, and having some activities prepared, you can have lots of fun. You can watch movies, read stories, play pretend games, colour pictures, make snacks, put on music and dance, use a blanket to have an indoor picnic...there's lots of things! Talk about it, and come up with a plan together.

    The magic moment where you leave your adult mindset behind and feel fully little isn't easy to do. It probably won't happen the first time as your little one is feeling out whether it's safe. But with time, you might find yourselves leaving your adult selves behind and falling right into your mommy/LG roles. There have been times when I've legitimately felt like a little's rare, but incredibly beautiful. The best thing you can do for each other is listen, pick out each other's needs, and make each other feel safe and affirmed. I'm really excited that you're both taking this on - it could be a wonderful way to feel safe and loved!

    You could also take a look at this link - it's ADISC's Guide for Caretakers, and it helped my Mommy and me out a lot.

  6. #6


    I definitely try and affirm things for her, and as for talking things out, we are very much still in the introductory phase of things and have been mostly playing it by ear - I do feel I have much more of a grasp on how to be a Mommy than being a "little" though as I mentioned the things I know are mostly just building blocks of what I've seen others do and seen actual parents do with their kids. I too hope this will be a fruitful partnering and blossom into something wonderful; our time is currently limited (1 or 2 days a week) so it goes slow (especially with my plethora of doom-and-gloom health issues I battle daily between our visits) but I cherish every minute we're together and have a hard time letting her go each time!

    you seem to have a knack for writing informative posts Adventurer, I thank you for your suggestions and for pointing me to that article which I had forgotten about (this partnering is quite recent though quickly 'escalating' mind you)

    if anyone else has additional things to add, I still welcome them!

  7. #7



    Your doing great, trying to understand your little one and see what they need is key...

    Even though adult baby is the term coined obviously not by one...else adult little may be more appropriate...

    Just treat your little to whatever you can in a loving manner...

    Even when not in full ab mode it's nice to throw things in...say ordering thier meal when out...or just asking them if they need the potty...just between the two of you...

    Most littles are shy, like most real young kids are, bit even more so...

    Just try things out...

    Anything you do with a real child isn't going to hurt anyone...and if it's not right that's ok too...

    Don't worry about making a mistake...even real parents do that too...

    You can ask your little what they're looking for...

    Examples are...
    Reading stories, activities, watching movies...etc...
    Cuddling, being put to bed, being diapered, etc..
    Bath time, feeding time, etc...
    Rules, timeouts, spankings, etc...
    Mommy says what time for bed, meals, etc...

    Now, asking the age of a little isn't easy, but usually what activities are better...

    Ex. An ABaby may say they are 5 years old...but still likes to be bottle fed, and diapers...which most 5yo don't do anymore...

    Anyhow, just play it by ear as you are, and explore, and don't let any mistakes worry you, babies will forgive in an instant...

    Also, do things you want to do as well...if you like shopping for it, and maybe stop by a toy store for a while...

    Remember, your the parent and want to protect your little one...but you still need your time as well...and that may very well be that your little one goes with shopping if you don't have a sitter

  8. #8


    Different AB's will require different needs. There are very limited numbers of AB nurseries here in the UK. One looks very good, the other is an unknown and the third, for me anyway, is far too sexually depraved. As a little 2 year old sissy girl, I would roleplay myself as a shy, withdrawn little lamb and need a gentle, nurturing, kind, encouraging and confident mummy. I am not interested in anything sexual whatsoever; it would destroy the innocence of mummy and baby bonding for me. Mummy would shower me with cuddles and kisses, tend to my every need, talk to me, smile lots and tell me how wonderful I am. She'd also give me the space to talk and to be seen and heard. Initially, I would be too shy and frightened to fully engage in playing with toys, drawing etc and engaging in typical baby play. I'd need to have enough physical comfort and closeness to open up more. She'd soothe me when I get upset and never be brusque, angry or use harsh punishment. Gentle correction is all that is needed with my innocent little 2-year old self. When I'm tired, she'd cuddle me close, wrap me in my blankie and duvet and stroke my head and face. She'd say lovely encouraging things to me, nurse me and let me drift off to sleep. I don't like to sleep in a crib; I like the space of a large bed and preferably mummy would stay with me and not leave me whilst I sleep.

    That's what I'd love and I often roleplay this scenario on my own in bed when all dressed up.

  9. #9


    I'm with BlankieLover - my little side is around 3 or 4 at the most so anything... sexual usually takes away a great deal for me. But everyone is different, and things can change. For instance, my wife played Mama for me for a while, but she doesn't really have time any longer. However, sometimes our playtime / little time would turn sexual BUT because she's my wife - it wasn't a terrible thing for me. Most times, it would be little time for a few hours, long enough for a snack, cuddle, movie or something and then it would head into adult themes. It took a few times for me to be able to easily transition from little girl back to wife for my lady, but with practice I was able. She learned that I couldn't just snap back and I learned that when done correctly, the sexual ending to playtime was actually rather gratifying rather than horrifying. My point is, with time (and practice, for lack of a better term), things fall into place and you learn what works and what doesn't. Don't fret, you'll make a great Mommy if you guys work at it together

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