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Thread: Thanks, Guys

  1. #1

    Default Thanks, Guys

    After my mother found out about this side of me, she was severely worried. After reading some of your stuff that she found out on Google, she was far less concerned

    Thanks!

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaciAlone View Post
    After my mother found out about this side of me, she was severely worried. After reading some of your stuff that she found out on Google, she was far less concerned

    Thanks!
    That's good to hear. It justifies what we really are about on this site, a place for support and helping others. I had such a rough time when I was in college and got "discovered" by my mom. There was no internet, and I was on my own as I was ushered off to a psychiatrist. It both scared me and depressed me, and there was no one to turn to. I hadn't told my boyfriend because I was too ashamed about what I did at home behind my closed bedroom door.

    I hope things work out okay for you. It's never easy being discovered. Hugs.

  3. #3

    Default

    Just out of curiosity, and wanting to know a bit more. What was the outcome of your therapy, did your mom ever accept it was just who you were?



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    That's good to hear. It justifies what we really are about on this site, a place for support and helping others. I had such a rough time when I was in college and got "discovered" by my mom. There was no internet, and I was on my own as I was ushered off to a psychiatrist. It both scared me and depressed me, and there was no one to turn to. I hadn't told my boyfriend because I was too ashamed about what I did at home behind my closed bedroom door.

    I hope things work out okay for you. It's never easy being discovered. Hugs.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Tridim View Post
    Just out of curiosity, and wanting to know a bit more. What was the outcome of your therapy, did your mom ever accept it was just who you were?
    I was such a difficult person back then. What precipitated the discovery was going home for a weekend dinner. We had company, and as dinner started, I started crying and couldn't stop. I was having a psychotic break. At school, I was on an every night binge of pot, which didn't help, but it was during the Vietnam War, the draft, seeing friends go off to war and not come back. I was a member of UNDO, and a published person of interest to the FBI. My world was crashing in. At the same time, I was a known poet throughout the Princeton community.

    I mention that because when I went to my psychiatrist, I'd bring my poetry and want to read it to him. He of course, was more interested in me and what my many problems were. As for my infantalism, my mom had told him, and so he brought it up. I was mortified, but had to say that yes, I liked wearing diapers and using them. He told me I'd probably outgrow it. It's kind of funny, considering that here I am, (to quote Paul Simon) still crazy after all these years.

    The bigger issue I had to discuss was my attraction to other males, especially young ones, since I was young as well. Homosexuality was considered an illness in 1970, and could put you into an institution if you were considered a danger to society. Westminster Choir College, the music conservatory I was attending had insisted I move off campus as not to corrupt the other male students, which was a joke since half the male student body was gay.

    After two sessions, I talked my mom out of sending me. I knew she couldn't afford the sessions as health insurance didn't pay for such things. My dad had a massive heart attack my freshman year, never to work again, and my mom was a secretary. I felt guilty about draining their meager bank account. She was willing to accept my offer because of financial reasons. I told her I could handle my problems, which wasn't completely true, but I'm still hear.

    After college, I walked away from as much of my college baggage as possible. There are dark skeletons in my closet, and they sometimes come out to play, putting me into depression, but I know how to survive. For me, the best thing I did was to start a new life, get married, and have children. it saved my life. I'm a person who needs "normalcy", though I guess we would all laugh at how normal I am. But for the basics of life, I do well. I enjoy my work, and I've almost always worked two jobs. Most of them have been in music, which I enjoy. Music is never work for me.

    Teaching at school has been work, but I love the kids. They give me joy, and I'll miss them when I retire. I think the thing that's important in life is to have a sense of purpose, and to have friends. If you have that, you'll make it.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaciAlone View Post
    After my mother found out about this side of me, she was severely worried. After reading some of your stuff that she found out on Google, she was far less concerned

    Thanks!
    Sorry to hear that your mother found out; sounds like it was unintended. But glad she is not so concerned now that she has done some reading. Hopefully that will make it easier on you...and her.

    This is a good place, isn't it. I have been struggling with my *issues* since childhood. Like Dogboy, most of this time has been before the internet so I was presumably alone. Finding Adisc, I found others like me and I also have learned so much by reading thru the posts.

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