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Thread: Am I confused, or not?

  1. #1

    Default Am I confused, or not?

    Ok so right now I am upset to the point of crying. I want to be just as upfront, and honest as I can. I may not get everything out in this post, but I will try. What I am so upset over at this moment is that I am trying to take it slowly with transitioning into this life style. I am feeling a tsunami of both positive, and negative emotions. As you may know when I was 14 I started having these feelings about being an baby/toddler. That was a long time ago, and I could not kick those feelings. Well I am a boy, and I like boy things. However there is also another twist to this. I also always wanted to be a girl as far back as I can remember.

    I love pastel colors, blue, pink, purple. The thing of it is I do not like girl toys, or to wear extremely feminine things like frilly stuff. It seems like I would be a tomboy if I were born a girl. My problem is I do not look like a girl, and do not have the well body for it. That is like one big thing pushing me away some. With also the fact that I still know I am a boy, and cannot picture myself in girlish colored clothes. I am attracted to it more than the boy stuff. I wore a wig once for a college joke, and I actually did not want to stop wearing it because I felt more girl than boy when having it on. I am sorry if I don't make much sense.

  2. #2

    Default

    Well,

    Your not any more confused than anyone else is...

    Everyone has feeling that are from lots of different angles...

    Seems you have some feelings from shal we say the boy and girl sides...

    Everyone has both sides, and expresses both in many ways...

    Myself I have more boy vs. girl feeling...but both of them do exist...

    I sometimes feel girly when say watching anime and in the right mindset...

    But last week for instance not much at all...had to do some training for self defense and traveled a couple of days too for some commitments from years past...this area doesn't have much room for any girly feelings at all...

    So, I always wavers, or ebb and flows...depending one what I'm working with in terms of available free time and resources as well...

    Remember as a genetic male we still have both x and y chromosomes, plus both testosterone and estrogen...

    So,no id say your not confused but are learning to understand the dichotomy of your own self.

  3. #3

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    Some good insight from Bigbabybret. You're going to see that male/feminine conflict among many of us, myself included. In high school I enjoyed sports. I weight lifted and pretty much wore jeans and flannel shirts. But when I regress, I sometimes feel more feminine. I have pink plastic pants, and some with very childish prints. There's a part of regression and being an adult baby that looks for some element of humiliation, so that may be a factor.

    I see sexuality as being somewhat fluid. It's like the Autism scale, where one may not be on the extreme side of the scale, but more to one side or the other. As humans, we're complicated, with past experiences influencing how we feel. As young children, we identified certain things with some sort of infantile sexual feeling. Now, they play with us psychologically, though seemingly hidden from our conscious memory.

    After awhile, we not only get to know ourselves better, but we learn how to accept who we are. Having lived the better part of my life, I can accept who I am with some sense of grace, and actually like and appreciate all of me. You will too.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Tridim View Post
    Ok so right now I am upset to the point of crying. I want to be just as upfront, and honest as I can. I may not get everything out in this post, but I will try. What I am so upset over at this moment is that I am trying to take it slowly with transitioning into this life style. I am feeling a tsunami of both positive, and negative emotions. As you may know when I was 14 I started having these feelings about being an baby/toddler. That was a long time ago, and I could not kick those feelings. Well I am a boy, and I like boy things. However there is also another twist to this. I also always wanted to be a girl as far back as I can remember.

    I love pastel colors, blue, pink, purple. The thing of it is I do not like girl toys, or to wear extremely feminine things like frilly stuff. It seems like I would be a tomboy if I were born a girl. My problem is I do not look like a girl, and do not have the well body for it. That is like one big thing pushing me away some. With also the fact that I still know I am a boy, and cannot picture myself in girlish colored clothes. I am attracted to it more than the boy stuff. I wore a wig once for a college joke, and I actually did not want to stop wearing it because I felt more girl than boy when having it on. I am sorry if I don't make much sense.
    hello Tridim;

    if i may ask a simply question that was asked of me about 30 some years ago;
    does this gender/sexual confusion of yours mostly exist before or while you are actively participating in, or thinking about your AB-DL stuff.....
    and not to be indelicate about this, but much like the average male sexual-appendage; does the gender/sexual confusion substantially subside after play-time is over......

    you need not post your answer, Tridim.
    the answer is for your own personal starting point.
    you see, i came at this question all those years ago, wondering if i were really one of them there transexual's, or just a simple cross-dresser. and it was my answer to that question that verified for me what the psychiatrist apparently already knew. and was just helping me to see for my self.

    i will warn you that the answer is no where near as simple as the question seems to be. so be careful.... (soft smile)
    like alice, once you start down... you never know where the rabbit hole might lead.
    for some folks, confusion is a place they call home.....

    lodge wrecker....

  5. #5

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    Being conflicted on what you want to be.
    Be feminine or be a male... it is hard but no one says you have to chose.
    If you want to sometimes be a male then do it or if you want to be a female when you regress or not, is simply up to how you feel about it at the time.
    As stated before there is no simple answer for this question.
    Do you think that you are actually confused?

  6. #6

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    I really don't know much about this first-hand, so bear with me. However...

    ...this is one of those times that I think "boy OR girl" need not apply. You are, I am assuming, biologically male but do not always feel that way and that's okay. You may be transgendered or gender-fluid (or neither); your gender identity may be somewhere in between male & female (or something else). You do not have to choose between "boy" and "girl." Be you and act like you. You might perhaps try to talk about or even RP some of this with someone you trust. Just be sure to be nice to yourself.

    Please let us know how you are doing.

    ~YF

  7. #7

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    Okay, I am so happy that I went ahead with this thread.
    I figured it could not hurt, because I know that there are people who care.
    I want to thank all of you for taking your valuable time to help me get a alternate perspective. I am going to address each reply here in a moment, and then sort of put in my own words how I am doing.

    Bigbabybret:

    I agree with your analogy, and understanding. It makes since to me now.
    You just got to ride with it, and not try to fight back when it is not necessary.
    At work, and out in public. It is reasonable to be careful with your girly side if you are male.
    Unless you absolutely are to the point of not caring what others say.

    Dogboy:

    I think I can learn to love myself, and be less bothered by conflicts as I get use to being myself.
    As you already guessed. Life is complex, and there is no clear right/wrong answer.
    Except when you try to force yourself to act, be, or do something that is not true to your nature.

    Littlelodgewrecker:

    I think the better question to ask myself is.
    Am I trying to get a more balanced diet between the genders?
    Yes I am, and I could not really answer that before because I had feelings without really putting it into the form of a question.

    Good idea wrecker, and your reply does invoke allot of interesting self exploration!
    I imagine I will be asking myself allot more, and that is a sturdy approach.
    Better than trying to chase around emotions that can lead to misunderstanding oneself.

    Cranky:

    Yes I am/was conflicted. Absolutely right, there is no reason to say I chose one or the other.
    Indeed, how I feel at the time is exactly what I am looking for.
    At the end of the day. I enjoy being a man, because I am one lol.

    No simple answer, and if there is one I still have yet to discover it. Confused, conflicted, scared?
    I would say a mix of all three. Not so much of the very first two, but fear plays a role in this.

    YankeeFox

    Yes they need not apply. Being, and acting like me is hard at times.
    We associate certain feelings, wants, and needs with another emotion.
    Usually positive, and negative. Very rarely do we associate something with a neutral standing.

    Hopefully I have responded well enough to carry on some interesting discussions.
    I am doing okay so far. Much better than I expected.
    I do think that a balance of girl/boy is what I am really wanting.
    I never cared for the fact that men are expected to dress a certain way, and act macho.

    In closing I appreciate each, and everyone of you.
    I am thankful for all your kindness. There is a friendly caring love for each other here. I can feel it.

  8. #8

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    I've just figured that I'm an adult male and a baby girl and there's nothing wrong about being both. Girl stuff is cuter anyway.

  9. #9

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    Dear Tridim
    Can really identify with your post on being confused. As far back as i can remember, I've always wanted to be a Girl and no one to talk about it to. Then because it wasn't normal to be a Girl, i went into manhood as best as i could trying to fit in. All that time always feeling odd and not honest with myself. Took me fifty years to become honest with my happiness and i am pleased with the results.
    Will never be a pretty little Woman but with help from My Lady, I've managed to become a pretty tom boy with out guilt. Now i am happy with myself and dress daily and work in my field. Yes i do wear pink and get a relief every time i wear something that is tastefully daring but always in Woman's wear
    Sincerely mypet

  10. #10

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    One very freeing fact is that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. You don't have to be a guy or a girl 100% of the time. OK, maybe biologically you have to commit one way or the other, but how you express yourself - and how you think of yourself - can change several times a day if you want it to!

    I'm a man, and I present to the world that way. I like it. But I also feel the pull to be little and girly. When I regress, my little side is 100% girly-girl, to a very strong extent! Some men also regress to tomboy-ish girls, or any other personality you wish! Being an LG (an adult who regresses to a little girl persona) is all about breaking free from the adult role and getting to do things you couldn't do as an adult.

    If you couldn't picture becoming a girl full-time, but you still feel the pull to express that part of yourself, that's completely OK! You might be one of us LGs, and believe me, it's a lot of fun. Or perhaps you're more gender fluid - sometimes a man, sometimes a woman, in your adult body. Either way, you can become a girl whenever you want to, and whatever sort of girl you want to. If you don't like frilly dresses, you can wear jeans or overalls too (and send the frilly dresses to me! Haha). The big picture: You can be whoever you want to be, whenever you want to.

    The other posters in this thread have given you lots of great things to think about. I'll offer one more: perhaps you'd like to be a man sometimes and a girl sometimes? That's OK too.

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