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Thread: Feeling Alone

  1. #1

    Default Feeling Alone

    So today I started feeling just really alone and without anyone. I was at a birthday party a little while ago and said hi to some people, but that's about it. I felt like everyone was talking to eachother, and got that feeling like I was invisible or that nobody noticed me. I'm home now and cried some, had a panicking feeling. Really been struggling to find a partner or friends, the only people I hang out with are family. It feels like anything I do, i do alone, I've never had great social skills.I have some people to talk to, others like my one friend have gone into service and I can't get a hold of. I really would like to find a dom who can handle an emotional person like me. I know a lot of other people have depression, so I feel a little selfish posting this, but I just started feeling really down today. Anyway, thanks for listening.

  2. #2

    Default

    Hello PaddedBoyJacob.

    Sorry to here you are having a hard time, but that is why ADISC is here.

    I have not looked at your profile, but do you have any place you can go and do something, i.e. A local food bank and volunteer, your church that you can go and volunteer to help.

    There is also groups here on ADISC that you can join and become active in. We also have a chat group but I am not sure if you need to level up to have access to it.

    I understand about feeling like the wall paper at a party. I unfortunately dug myself a nice little hole to hide in and worked myself silly on the family farm, so I did not have to be around people.

    That is not the best thing to do because it makes matters worse in the long run.

    The suggestion that I stated earlier is exactly what my therapist told me to do and it helped a lot. Other then that is to fine a hobby that will help you get out to meet people and or make things to help people.

    Another thing that just popped into my mind is there is always nursing homes that would love to have someone come in a read or talk to the clients to give them some attention that they desperately need. I did do that once and met some people with so many history stories to tell, and got to hear history from the people that where there at the time.

    I hope you find something to help you in these hard times, but remember you are never alone as long as you can get on line here.

  3. #3

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    I understand that feeling. I also would feel like I wasn't needed or wanted at social gatherings. I too have/had very poor social skills. If it helps at all I noticed that it's so hard to get in the middle of groups to mingle when you don't have the normal social skills. And normally people seem to not want to split out of their little groups, or maybe they're too involved in their conversation to notice the loner on the outside. I'm not sure what other people do is always intentional, I mean to say. I think they don't realize what they're doing or they're so deep into their topic of choice they just see and hear nothing else but their group and their conversation.

    Don't take it too badly, I mean. It's really likely it wasn't intentional on their part; and on your part you agree that you don't have the best social skills right now. At least, from what I understand, social skills can be learned like any other skill. Maybe take this as a wake-up call or an opportunity to try and learn some more social skills. But don't take the situation too badly - I'm not sure it was out and out rejection. It sounds kind of accidental. I've been on the receiving end of this stuff before and it's usually really accidental on the parts of those talking in groups.

  4. #4

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    I am quite new here, but I will take sometime to try to help you the best I can. I'm sorry you feel alone, and you do have a legitimate concern. There is no shame in wanting something for yourself that does not hurt anyone. I have been in several situations where I felt like I was being ignored. It is a horrible feeling inside, and it is hard to overcome. It will get easier once you start socializing more, but it will seem like a impossible task. What you may need is a more balanced social life. As you get more good friends, and socialize more. You will have less baggage to carry with you. That is because you will focus less on the negatives, and focus more on the positive. What I mean to say is. You will have less time to worry about the bad stuff, and be more engaged in all the great things life can bring.

    I know you desire to seek someone who can hold all your baggage for you while you try to work things out. That however comes at a financial cost. Friends do not charge for being there for you, Dom's do. I have been in a similar situation earlier in life where I needed to let go of everything I was feeling, but did not want to let it go to just anyone. My best advice is find someone who will accept you no matter what, and tell them how you feel. I hope this helps some, and good luck.

  5. #5

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    I'm the kind of person who usually has one GREAT friend instead of a whole bunch, and I haven't been able to find one since about 7 years ago. I've gone on a couple of group hikes and everyone seems to be already "grouped up." I tend to cling to anyone who wants to give me attention and it screws everything up. I mean, I sit at home, watch movies, play games, and those things aren't making me happy anymore.

    Thanks everyone for your advice

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaddedBoyJacob View Post
    I'm the kind of person who usually has one GREAT friend instead of a whole bunch, and I haven't been able to find one since about 7 years ago. I've gone on a couple of group hikes and everyone seems to be already "grouped up." I tend to cling to anyone who wants to give me attention and it screws everything up. I mean, I sit at home, watch movies, play games, and those things aren't making me happy anymore.

    Thanks everyone for your advice
    I was like this all through college, having one very good friend, though I had other friends. This changes as one gets older. I my case, like so many others, I got married. Again, I'm with one very good friend, my wife.

    I don't think there's anything unusual about your situation. I'm quite social, but I've been in similar social situations where I felt like a third wheel. Egor and Frogsy have given you very good advise. Joining groups, giving time volunteering, even becoming involved in a church; all these things get us out into the world. I work two jobs, so I stay plenty busy, and I'm surrounded by people. It fills the need to be social.

    I realize that it's not the same as hanging out with one really good friend, but getting involved in groups is a good place to start.

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