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Thread: Ever seek ABDL therapy?

  1. #1
    Alexa

    Default Ever seek ABDL therapy?

    Has anyone ever shared this secret with a therapist? What was their response/reaction/way to discuss it?

    Has anyone ever sought sex therapy explicitly to deal with this fetish?

  2. #2

    Default

    No & No.

    However:
    With ANY therapy you plan to go along with, I feel that it is of importance to:
    - Define REASONS WHY you seek therapy.
    - Clearly define GOALS - aspects you want to change, etc...
    - Get realistic expectations (discuss this very early with the therapist)
    - Be comfortable, don't allow yourself to be pushed.
    - It's about trust... sure a therapist is bound by laws to some confidentiality.. but still... if you feel not 100% safe / OK with the therapist: get a different one.

    That aside:
    Ridding yourself (guessing that this is why you'd seek professional help / sex therapy) is not an easy undertaking.
    Equate it to something that'll go harder on you than getting over a heroine addiction. No kidding, I'm dead serious here.
    Fetishes are VERY deep rooted in our subconscious behavioral patterns.
    Also they trigger "happy" endorphine -fueled feelings... You indulge - and get "rewarded"... time after time after time. Even if guilt sets in, the reward action usually is being interpreted very positively and tagged "worth it" by your subconscious mind.

    Added to this comes the usually really early onset of Fetishes... it's often something that already takes on some manifestion during childhood.
    Short, at 33, you've been "at it" for a LONG time.

    Kicking such a habit is usually something that is bound to fail, unless you're either willing to look at it like a serious drug (alcohol) addiction: AVOID any further contact by all means. Seek help,... etc.

    Then there's specific drugs that will suppress your sexual cravings to a large amount... and with it, basically lessen the urge to indulge - however stuff like that is usually only "offered" if you for example seek help for VERY SERIOUS issues.

    Last but not least, acceptance is easier than kicking it - by far... and that is, what in the end most open minded therapists will try to work towards: self acceptance.
    Also trying to rid yourself from any fetish usually is only "recommended" by most therapists, if it strongly interferes with your day to day life, contributes to your unhappiness, etc...
    And even then, maybe work towards moderation, acceptance, etc would be regarded as preferable as it's far more likely to be successful.

    Again, I'm not saying you couldn't kick it...



    About how therapists would look at the entire ABDL thing depends on how well educated, openminded and experienced they are.

  3. #3

    Default

    If it's nothing more than sexual, and you are doing nothing more than having fun with a consenting partner, the psychiatrist is not going to care. Why? Because there is no pathology involved, and this is no different from a foot fetish. As long as no harm is done to yourself or someone else, there is nothing wrong with it.

  4. #4

    Default

    Yes, yes I have.

    I joined this site the day before I talked to her and with her help and the information from the group here I have gained understanding, self-acceptance, balance and control.

    It was a life changing experience, and I am glad that I did it.

  5. #5

    Default

    What would be your goals in speaking to a therapist about this? Do you want to quit, or do you want a better understanding of yourself, or do you want to talk about it in relation to another issue? You really should have a goal in mind if you share this with a therapist.

    I've talked to two different psychologists, and a psychiatrist. I haven't brought up diapers, but I can tell you that it any half decent therapist wouldn't have any problem with it. They spend all day talking to people about fantasies, talking to people who want to (or have tried to) kill themselves, people with mental illness and brain disorders, people who abuse and modify their bodies, and/or have addictions to every kind of substance you could imagine. An adult wearing diapers and/or acting like a baby? Meh.

    So yeah, if you have something specific in mind, talk to a therapist. I'm sure you will be amazed at what you will find. From the little bit of research I've done, the many different causes of AB and DL, fetish or non-fetish, are absolutely fascinating, and are deeply related to the way each of our brains work (and potentially their dysfunction).

  6. #6

    Default

    Yes, but it was a long time ago when I was in college. I came home from college for the weekend, and during dinner, I started crying and couldn't stop. When I went back to school, my mom searched my bedroom and found my makeshift diapers along with some gay porn. I was having a minor psychotic break at the time, so she made an appointment for me with a psychiatrist at a large residential mental facility.

    I met with my psychiatrist and he thought I would grow out of wanting to wear diapers. He was more concerned with my attraction to males, something that could force one into residence against one's will, back in 1970. We've come a long way, baby. Anyway, my shrink was wrong about outgrowing it, as It's always been strong with me.

    I'm not sure that there is adequate or sufficient information in the psychological society that enables them to understand us. Again, it's important to know why you want help at this level, though if you do, that is an option.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by EPO1 View Post
    With ANY therapy you plan to go along with, I feel that it is of importance to:
    - Define REASONS WHY you seek therapy.
    - Clearly define GOALS - aspects you want to change, etc...
    - Get realistic expectations (discuss this very early with the therapist)
    - Be comfortable, don't allow yourself to be pushed.
    - It's about trust... sure a therapist is bound by laws to some confidentiality.. but still... if you feel not 100% safe / OK with the therapist: get a different one.

    That aside:
    Ridding yourself (guessing that this is why you'd seek professional help / sex therapy) is not an easy undertaking.
    Equate it to something that'll go harder on you than getting over a heroine addiction. No kidding, I'm dead serious here.
    Fetishes are VERY deep rooted in our subconscious behavioral patterns.
    Also they trigger "happy" endorphine -fueled feelings... You indulge - and get "rewarded"... time after time after time. Even if guilt sets in, the reward action usually is being interpreted very positively and tagged "worth it" by your subconscious mind.
    .....

    About how therapists would look at the entire ABDL thing depends on how well educated, openminded and experienced they are.

    I've discussed this side of me with several therapists and talked about it on several threads here on ADISC over the years.
    Some of what EPO1 writes here I've also found to be true.

    Certainly -- (good) therapists will follow your lead: They want to try to help you with that which you want help with. If you see ABDL stuff as a problem and want to rid it from your life, they will try to help you put patterns and behaviors in your life to lessen it's impact and presence. If you see ABDL as something you're at peace with and you're working with another problem in life, they'll leave it alone.
    This has been my experience thus far at least (and EP01's final sentence totally applies: the more educated and experienced the therapist, the more willing they were to just 'go with it' when I told them I was at peace with it.

    On another level, EP01 says "don't allow yourself to be pushed". in some sense, I might agree: as in, I'm comfortable with my DLness and I dont' want a therapist shaming me or trying to convince me to give it up. However, there have been many times when a therapist has pointed out blind spots in my life or problems I have that I myself was totally unaware of...HE/SHE was RIGHT and I was WRONG on the issue. If I had dug my heels in and refused to be pushed a little or challenged -- I wouldn't have grown much. Our defensiveness in postmodern culture can leave us insulated and I think we need to be careful to allow some people in -- allow some people to hold us accountable -- allow some people to challenge us. Sure, those people must earn our trust as EP01 says...and I think that therapists are often prime candidates for that trust.

    Finally -- I think EP01 is right -- this stuff is deeply deeply rooted in our psyche and I don't think it's terribly realistic to dig up and take out altogether. Perhaps reduce it to binge/purge. Perhaps learn coping mechanisms and keep it to a minimum. However, in my experience that type of "warfare" produced a great deal of depression and anxiety and frustration in my life. Paradoxically, accepting it actually produced moderation in usage and mental preoccupation (and no shame/depression!).

    Summary: Good therapists are worth their weight in Gold.

  8. #8
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    I've shared it with every therapist i've had in my adult life. The first therapist i told because i thought the cause of my depression was loneliness from not finding friends or likeminded people - it went fine but my therapist kept seeing it as a fetish, and to me its not a sexual fetish.

    I told my 2nd therapist after i really found out that my depression stems from GID. And i told her because it was relevant to how i discovered the truth about myself, and the same goes for my 3rd therapist who i was then referred to by my 2nd therapist so that i could tackle the GID issues. Both of them reacted admirably, one of which had no idea what it was and wanted to learn more, the other which knew a great deal about that as well as Dom/Sub relationships and situations, so it was fairly easy for me. Normally though, with neither therapist did it ever linger because ABDL was never the true cause of my depression & anxiety, GID was. Thought honestly, I have gone to a marriage counselor where i had to bring it up because my wife wanted nothing to do with it, and i wanted to find other little friends to hang out with and have outtings or playtime with (non sexually) and because of the lack of understanding the marriage counselor had, he made me out to be some kind of unfaithful monster. ABDL is a very understudied thing, and continues to be misunderstood because the lack of information there is. But honestly, everyone has a different reason for being ABDL, some people like to think its a link between mental disabilities, or abusive pasts, or just developed comforts.. But no one knows the true cause of it, so digging up the past to try and find out with be fruitless and pointless. Just enjoy it and consider yourself unique.

    I've had this theory for years that being ABDL or AB or a little is a hardwired humanity thing, and its because of this that we cannot find the "cause". Animals are often known to regress and behave the way they did as puppies or kittens or babies, and they do this to relieve stress... who's to say that humans cant do it too? the only difference is that while cats stroke their mother's fur as children, humans wear diapers and drink from bottles... so its really no different than animal regression. And to answer the question of "then why doesn't everyone do it?" because not everyone is the same... not every animal regresses either. Psychology can sometimes be painfully black and white and life is not black and white.

    Or lets say for a moment that it is 100% sexual for you, that still would be pointless to pursue because fetishes of ANY kind are still very understudied and misunderstood... no one knows the cause of leather fetishes either... the human mind has an interesting way of growing an attraction for an object, best to just let it be.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by egor View Post
    Yes, yes I have.

    I joined this site the day before I talked to her and with her help and the information from the group here I have gained understanding, self-acceptance, balance and control.

    It was a life changing experience, and I am glad that I did it.

    Sounds like your describing my experience, even the timing is the same. I think that telling my Counselor was my first step towards my own acceptance of this. She was the first person i had ever told about my AB side, I knew she would never be talking to family or friends so i went for it. It's a really good feeling to have somebody to talk to about this stuff without any kind of fear. Good luck with your decision!

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