Hey, long time since i've written on here, but... well, I think the rest of my post will do the talking:
I'm guessing I'm not the only one who has had strange dreams relating to wearing. But last night's was weirder than usual.
It wasn't so much the content or the fact that - in my dreams - i found myself resignedly revealing what I'm into to a close friend of mine that made it weird; I'm past shame and all that malarchy. It's the feeling that I woke up with and that has haunted my whole day that's really playing on my mind...
In the dream I think I must have just left some kind of AB/DL convention/meetup thing and bumped into various friends along the way. Apparently I was wearing nappies and hadn't put much effort into concealing this.
What I got a sense of though, was how sad it was that I couldn't really share any of the experience of being AB/DL with anyone. I've always been very private about such things and - even though I'm no longer ashamed, even though i've worn in front of my partner and she's cool with it - it's still not something I really want to share with others... maybe even other AB/DLs (and, no offence, its nothing personal - it just feels wrong; not 'morally wrong' or something ... more like trying to put two odd jigsaw pieces together wrong). I think, partly, i'm afraid of other people feeling the same as I do... strange.
And in spite of all this, I've carried this feeling at the back of my head throughout the day that I'm out in the cold somehow... I don't know what I want. Yes, I'm very much DL and, no, I have no intention of stopping; I accept it as part of who I am... But it's like this giant, silent slither of my emotional life is in the dark; and today, more than usual, I'm noticing that.
I guess I had to just write it down here. Maybe the feeling will fade again. maybe not. It felt like the right thing to do...
So yeah, odd topic, but thoughts and discussion all welcome.