This is a topic I posted about a week ago on Asexuality.org. I received some good advice on there, and in turn I'm in a better state of mind. But I'm not sure if I should leave my job if my manager doesn't agree to take me off the cash register, because despite being OK financially I'm worried that no one will want to hire me. I have no criminal record, I have 3 degrees, but I'm socially stupid. I can't keep eye contact for any amount of time (unless I'm close to you), and I have no idea how to talk to people. Plus my hearing is gradually going (which is something I've noticed more since I started working in retail).
So yeah. The rest of this thread is what I wrote a week ago when I had a very difficult day at work, and felt like death was an option. Which it isn't, but in that moment I wasn't OK. I also earn only 8,000 a year (which has made me appreciate saving and coupons haha), so that's one reason why I'm ready to leave. I feel like I get paid for a lot less than I work, but no one gets raises. No one. Unless you become a manager, which I do not want to be.
Thanks for all the future advice/comments!
Work has become so stressful (retail usually is during this time of year) that I'm ready to just give up. The people cuss, yell, and scream at me if the price or things do not go their way. I try to be kind and understanding, but when they call me a "bitch" I'm done. I'm out. And my nerves can not handle it anymore.
And to make things worse, my OCD has resurfaced with a vengeance, and my eating problems (which manifest as binging right now) has made me sick for days at a time these last few months. I can't win, and I feel like I'm just done with life.
I cried today because I just felt so much pressure inside me that I couldn't handle, and it helped. But when I have to go back into work Friday, it might all come back up again.
And i honestly do not know if I can do it anymore.
I'm thinking about quitting (because I have some money saved, and family that can help me out for a bit), get my life straightened, get another job (that isn't retail), and just try to become healthier. Because with this job, I just keep making myself sick (be it with anxiety or with food). But I thought I would talk to my manager, tell her I need off the cash register and just keep me as a stocker. Because I cannot handle the customers...their way too rude, and I'm way too tender hearted for all of this.
Anyway, any advice? I'm a mix of numb, exhausted, and hopeless right now. so any advice is good advice right now.