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Thread: Hi, a little advice on a topic

  1. #1

    Default Hi, a little advice on a topic

    This is a topic I posted about a week ago on I received some good advice on there, and in turn I'm in a better state of mind. But I'm not sure if I should leave my job if my manager doesn't agree to take me off the cash register, because despite being OK financially I'm worried that no one will want to hire me. I have no criminal record, I have 3 degrees, but I'm socially stupid. I can't keep eye contact for any amount of time (unless I'm close to you), and I have no idea how to talk to people. Plus my hearing is gradually going (which is something I've noticed more since I started working in retail).

    So yeah. The rest of this thread is what I wrote a week ago when I had a very difficult day at work, and felt like death was an option. Which it isn't, but in that moment I wasn't OK. I also earn only 8,000 a year (which has made me appreciate saving and coupons haha), so that's one reason why I'm ready to leave. I feel like I get paid for a lot less than I work, but no one gets raises. No one. Unless you become a manager, which I do not want to be.

    Thanks for all the future advice/comments!

    Work has become so stressful (retail usually is during this time of year) that I'm ready to just give up. The people cuss, yell, and scream at me if the price or things do not go their way. I try to be kind and understanding, but when they call me a "bitch" I'm done. I'm out. And my nerves can not handle it anymore.

    And to make things worse, my OCD has resurfaced with a vengeance, and my eating problems (which manifest as binging right now) has made me sick for days at a time these last few months. I can't win, and I feel like I'm just done with life.

    I cried today because I just felt so much pressure inside me that I couldn't handle, and it helped. But when I have to go back into work Friday, it might all come back up again.

    And i honestly do not know if I can do it anymore.

    I'm thinking about quitting (because I have some money saved, and family that can help me out for a bit), get my life straightened, get another job (that isn't retail), and just try to become healthier. Because with this job, I just keep making myself sick (be it with anxiety or with food). But I thought I would talk to my manager, tell her I need off the cash register and just keep me as a stocker. Because I cannot handle the customers...their way too rude, and I'm way too tender hearted for all of this.

    Anyway, any advice? I'm a mix of numb, exhausted, and hopeless right now. so any advice is good advice right now.


  2. #2


    Get you a different job, babe! It's obvious you need a change.

    If you go without income for a while, will you lose an apartment lease or anything? If not, then taking some time off to get yourself sorted is a very real option, and important to consider. Having some time to stop acting for other people, and just be for yourself can be a lifesaver.

    Just be aware that "a few months' break" can tend to stretch on for more than a few months. I quit my last job due to anxiety, and now it's been 4 years since I've worked... and not everyone is in a situation where that would even be possible. So do think it over. If you decide to take a break from working, I would recommend having a plan for taking care of yourself (therapy? re-assessing your goals, figuring out a job direction you WANT to go in? desensitizing yourself to your anxiety triggers?) and a date when you're going to start looking for a job again.

    Also, there are plenty of jobs where retail face-time is not the core of the work. "Behind-the-scenes" work and most office jobs are decent for that. Also, see if you can find a temp agency -- some of them also do hiring for permanent positions. You can tell them up front how much you want to earn, along with your skills and the work environment you want, and they'll matchmake you with opportunities that might fit your needs. Just don't let them push you into interviews for work that you KNOW you're going to hate.

    Or, you may find it easier to interact with people when you're in a really comfortable environment. If you have any hobbies, crafts, or other interests, think of whether there are any local stores that you absolutely love going to. Like a quiet little knitting shop? Or an art studio? Or whatever. When I was much younger I had the worst social anxiety -- unless I was talking about pet animals, and then I couldn't hide my interest if I tried. So that was a beautiful bridge into learning to feel comfortable talking to people.

    Anyway, just a few thoughts. I'm so sorry things suck so much right now, and I hope you find a much better situation for yourself

  3. #3


    Short: Don't be afraid - you NEED a different job!

    With 8'000 US$ a YEAR it will be - as I guess you have figured out - rather difficult to make an actual living (equating in just 666$/Month)... it beats having NOTHING, but it ain't going to be what you need in the long run.
    So if there are no "future-upgrades" aside from manager postings at that place than it's called flogging a dead horse.
    Click image for larger version. 

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    In situations like those: take a step back, try to shut out the emotional responses for a moment and just apply dead cold reasoning/logic to the situation at hand...
    basically assert the hard facts and weigh in your options.
    I don't know all the parameters of your situation of course...

    - But you say to have three degrees (Educational)
    - you so far have a job
    - you say you're financially stable (that is only contradicted by the 8k$/year figure...)
    - you have know your weaknesses (job-wise) (that is important, knowing your strengths/weak-points can be important to find something fitting)
    - your current job is a "dead end" (a route you don't want to walk forever).
    - you WANT something different
    - ...

    Looking at the few facts I know from what you've written I can say:
    - Keep the job you have for the MOMENT... BUT:
    use your free time to find a different job.
    Apply yourself to that task with determination... ie. figure out WHAT line of work would be suitable, assert what the job situation is, see if you have all minimum requirements - if not, work towards getting whatever's missing, apply for random positions (be prepared to get a lot of "sorry..." answers).
    Try to work on your strengths/weaknesses...
    There is NOT A LOT that is hard-set in stone... you can improve even in areas which are problematic... probably never turn them into your greatest strengths, but you can improve to a point where it's no longer a hinderance (eye contact for example, hearing loss, etc..)...

    And I guess with some time, effort and endurance you should be able to find a much better job.

    And remember, if the road ahead looks tough and difficult: ONE STEP AT A TIME.
    Look at your current job as simply a tool to fulfill certain needs (basic money).
    Pick out some area in your life you can "instantly" improve (can be something really simple) and try... if you fail, just try again... life is indeed more often than not a matter of falling down and standing back up again...
    maybe find help in friends, family, therapy, whatever... as long as it WORKS FOR YOU.
    Eating: maybe get a good recipe book and find virtue in preparing good healthy food...
    it will in a short while really improve your health...
    Sports can work wonders at such moment... get exhausted in a positive way... increase strength, stamina, etc... it will all have a very positive psychological aspect.
    etc... stuff like that.

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