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Thread: attachment items

  1. #1

    Default attachment items

    Has anyone's significant others removed attachment items from you such as your pacifier?
    Im asking because my wife took offense to my bink, primarily because we d)o breastfeed and she has stated that it takes away from her. This has been hard for me to deal with considering my bink, nuk 5 traditional white, is one of my main items as well as diapers and my onesies. My bink disappeared compleatly, once it vanished for awhile and I found it hidden in her nightstand - I cant find it this time and she states she hasnt seen it and that i may have gotten rid of it during one of my purge cycles (not so true that is the one thing i never purged from my stuff and i hesitate to by a new one due to how negative her reactions to it are.
    Any thoughts how i should go about this? I tried rationally bringing it up and even put binks in my watch list on ebay, but the reaction is the same from her.
    I apologize if i come across negatively myself, im just frustrated, confused and my inner self may be even in tantrum mode
    Last edited by chronos51; 16-Nov-2013 at 16:03.

  2. #2


    That sounds like a bad situation! Why would anyone take something of someone else's like that? That sounds super controlling and kind of just plain mean. If you like your pacifier, it doesn't take away from anything else. It's just another awesome layer of fun!!

    I'd be frustrated, too. It sounds like something else is going on besides just some kind of binky-jealousy issue. Don't think it's right for anyone to take/hide/throw away the other person's stuff without consulting them first. Talk to her about this, and maybe figure something out. Binky usage shouldn't take away from your more intimate activities. People should be able to have fun on their own without depending on partners for every little thing! You'd think she'd be glad for the break.

  3. #3


    Yes their is a lot more to it. Than just the binky. My entire" little" aspect has been taken purely sexual and looked at in a very negative way, for me the sexual aspect is less than 1% but its viewed very differently from an outsiders point of view.
    Yes i've tried multiple times to explain to my wife that its 1% with not much luck convincing her otherwise
    Im sorry im having a real bad day, please dont think im on this site to just let steam off. Im not generally in tantrum mode, its just one of those days
    Last edited by chronos51; 16-Nov-2013 at 18:37.

  4. #4


    Finding acceptance from a spouse with this lifestyle can be difficult. My wife found out later in our marriage, when we were both mature and knew each other inside and out. I think that helps. I help her with her health issues as she is diabetic, and she supports my being an AB. For us it works. You need to find ways in wish it works for you and yours. Good luck.

  5. #5


    Thank you and i agree 100%. My wife is severely ocd and focuses on a lot of negativity. She creates mountains out of mole hills on a daily basis constantly stressed over one thing or another. Ive urged her to get help but that creates arguments. I love her with all my heart as i have for the last 20 plus years. I try to compromise, tried every which way of looking at things and every other way to help solve them. Yes she needs help but is only willing to tell counselors what they want to hear. Im looking into counseling myself to learn how to work with her ocd and all the quirks that go with it. I understand that its not me, but in ways i think it is me because instead of helping like i think i am im just making things worse, if i could get her to turn that negativity in to a more positive though pattern i feel she will be better but getting her to do that isnt easy, She spends so much time just thinking consumed with her thoughts what ever it may be that day. it isnt easy but im not going to give up on her.

    Thank you for the feedback

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