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Thread: Well she knows now about my incontinence -

  1. #1

    Default Well she knows now about my incontinence -

    I got a call from my wife and she said she was leaving work at 230 pm. I remembered that I was expecting a package of sample diapers from Disposable Medical Express. Well by the time I got out of the office it was 300 pm before I got home. You guessed it she was home and the package was on the kitchen island. She ask what was in the package.

    I told her all about my leaking over the past year and that I had even had to go home and change twice. I told her about going to see our GP and that the GP was not in favor or medications for treatment due to the heart medications that I am on. I told her about going to the Urologist and what he did. All about the double groin hernia and what he said should be done (ie nothing unless it gives me problems). All about the test he did with the camera and that he found my bladder, urethra, and bladder sphincter all in good working order. All about how he said that the bladder sphincter is not just a simple ring of muscles, that it is way more complex than that. All about how he wanted to try medications and me telling him what my GP had said. I also told her that I have another appointment on the 11th of December.

    Her response all during the conversation was calm and only had a few questions. She totally agreed with what the GP said and was not in favor of me taking additional drugs for the incontinence. She was a bit upset that I had not said anything to her about this till now. I told her how totally embarrassed I was about the incontinence. She reassured me that she understood. She has suffered from stress incontinence for a long time. The only time that she has a problem is when coughing.

    I told her I had tried pads first (don't work well when your a guy). That I had tried the men's guards and that I found them very uncomfortable and made me feel insecure about me having leaks. That I had tied Depends and that I found them next to useless. So I had ordered some samples to try and find a diaper that was comfortable, totally would allow me to work all day and not have to change at work, and to allow me to get a good nights sleep. She said that she figured something was wrong as my sleep pattern had totally changed over the last few years. (Part of that was due to having a dog that suffered from medical problems and had to go out at 2 to 3 am).

    I opened the box and DMS had not only sent me three of the Tena Slip Maxi briefs but a few extra ones to try.

    I told her that the main thing that got me was having to wear them made me feel old. That I had a bigger emotional issue with that than anything else. She said that well there is no getting around getting old and that parts do not work as well as they use to.

    The thing is it took a hell of a load off my mind. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I now do not have to worry about her finding my diapers or a wet pad or diaper. I now can order what I am going to need over the net. I will tell all this if you suffer from incontinence - TELL YOUR MATE. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. The one thing she said that really helped was her statement - IF you had to wear glasses to see or had to use a cane (I do have to use both) would you feel like it was your fault that you were less of a person. It is just an aid to help you get on with your life. If you worry about someone seeing - DON'T life is not all about you. Most people are so busy or concerned about their own life they don't pay much attention to anything else.

    Oh I do love my wife so much.

    Thanks for all the help guys.

    If anyone has suggestions for diapers that will last all day and ones that will be comfortable to wear at night (but allow me to just pee in them and not have to get up - hate having my sleep broken) or comments or suggestions on plastic pants PLEASE MAKE THEM.

    The thing I want now is to find ways to be able to wear and not worry at all. I do not care if they are bulky or if the plastic pants are noisy. The main thing is that both work super well. If that means wearing a bulky diaper and noisy thick plastic pants that is in someway a plus. I figure since the cat is totally out of the bag and it is going to probably be for the rest of my life I might as well also find ways to enjoy having to wear them as much as I enjoyed wearing them for just fun.

  2. #2


    I knew shed understand...

    Glad your getting that out in the open...

    I wore to work for years, I'm now usually just at home since my accident...

    But, I always wore a onesie over helps them work better and no worries about showing them off or getting diapers that don't ride up high...

    My favorite one is 24/7 from dry care...but they are in limbo switching the line...

    Right now I'm using abena level 4 and they work great, but are lacking in the deodorant area...

    I'd also look at changing at least once during the's just better for your skin...

    So, not sure on work attire, but business or casual a onesie just looks like an undershirt...

    And there are some polo style onesies too...that's your shirttails tucked in look...

    Anyhow, I always had a few with at work, and when I was in the office I keep a few in my desk too, just in case!


  3. #3


    Bambino.... Bellissimo to be specific. Secondly, I hear is dry 24/7 then Abenas. Glad that all worked out for you.

  4. #4


    I'm glad for you that you got that all settled with your wife. I don't know if you have visited XP Medical - Incontinence Supplies. I would visit this site and get some samples of Tena Slip Maxi's and Abena plastic backed diapers.
    Those are both good quality diapers that should last for several hours during the day. I use both of these products and like them real well. To me Gary has some of the best products and service that you can find
    anywhere. If the Dry 24/7's come back into production next month I will go back to using them.

  5. #5


    Thank all of you for your support. I can tell you that all this is a lifted a great weight off my shoulders. I got some samples from DME and Josh has been great to work with. He did send me three of the Bambino Classico (all white). I also have three of the Secure x-plus ones to try and three of the ATN ones. I plan on trying those during work next week with plastic pants. I did get some womens shapers and they do seem to hold the diaper and up nicely then the plastic pants over that. The only problem I have is that the crouch area is not as wide as I would like it. Does anyone have any suggestions for some sort of pantie or shaper or girdle that would have a wide crouch area. I am a 38 waist probably a 40 hip. I normally get a size 8 or 9 in panties. Would larger sizes have wider area in the crouch of the womens garments?

    Oh I woke up this morning had to pee and just let go. I even managed to fall back asleep right away for a short while. I so hope that it will become so I can just sleep a solid 8 hours. I know that will just take time for my brain to adjust to the new conditions and accept the fact that its ok to just go.

  6. #6


    I am so happy to hear that your wife is supportive and understanding.

    As far as plastic pants go, I find these to be the most comfortable: Suprima 1218 Super Soft Plastic Over Pants | Shop4Pvc
    This is a UK website but I'm sure there are similar products in the US too.

  7. #7


    I have found that although a bit pricey the tena slip maxi tends to last overnight. As well as daytime use. Very absorbent yet not bulky

  8. #8


    Glad it worked out well for you, all nervous about it and turned out to be absolutely all in your head, I was the same way when I had to discuss it with my GP, it was the weight of the world off my shoulders knowing it was now out in the open and we could get on with it! Hope your life continues to improve with it being revealed finally! I hope it goes that way when I finally meet someone that I have an interest in! :-)

  9. #9

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