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Thread: Things With My Girlfriend (And Some Advice Too)

  1. #1

    Default Things With My Girlfriend (And Some Advice Too)

    I was mostly making this post not to tell you about how things are with my girlfriend although they are great, she is an amazing woman and very understanding of everything I've been through.

    I mostly made this to let people know the questions I asked myself before I told her, these are very basic questions that may lead to other questions but I feel that not everyone critically thinks in this way.

    How do I benefit from her knowing?
    Is it worth the risk?
    Is she an understanding person?
    Do I feel at this point that this secret may overwhelm her?
    Do I see my secret bringing us closer?
    Can I handle her knowing?

    If you answered no to any of these, chances are you shouldn't quite tell your S/O whether that be a guy or girl. I was very precise with the way I came out to her and I made sure to start by building an informational foundation (basically explaining that we're not pedos).

    If you have anything to add to this, feel free, I'm not perfect at explaining things, I would hope nobody is :P.

    Best of luck, Teddy the Bear

  2. #2


    I thnk you've posed some good questions which invoke answers. To me, the most important one is, how do I benefit from telling. More rudimentary, why should I tell. I see that you are 18, so I'm guessing that you are in the beginning of a relationship? Relationships take time to develop, and during that time, one discovers if the relationship is one that should continue and become more serious, or end.

    When relationships become serious, and especially if there is a desire for some permanence, then telling about something as important as a life controlling fetish does become essential. That probably is the best reason for telling. I didn't tell my wife before we married, and so I kept it a secret for many years. I should have trusted her to accept me, but this was before the internet and the exchange of information. I just thought I was weird, if not crazy.

    We live in a different age, and information, even about infantilism is one click away on Google. People are more accepting, but certainly not everyone, which is why we have to get to know that other person. In the big picture, if we are going to live our life with someone else, we need to be who we are. If that includes diapers, then it should be discussed, even with all the risks. Concealing it from someone you're giving your life to isn't fair to yourself or the other person.

  3. #3


    We have known each other for quite some time but just started to date as I've just broken the surface with my true self.

  4. #4


    One thing though to be aware of is as follows. If you are dl, and it's one of your turnons (it is for me) - ie it's a fetish to you - you may run the risk of your beloved being jealous of it, wondering if she is in competition with your fetish for your attention. I have an ex who felt this way. Now, happily, diapers are not my only means by which I am turned on, but there exist among us ones for whom that is the case. I kept it for solo fun, to supplement couples fun. But a person may find their partner can't accept their word (or, in my case lots of words) that one is BOTH turned on by one thing AND another. This is all the more relevant if one's other is even the teensiest bit insecure. (Same thing goes for bisexuals, I bet.)

    Personally, I am open and honest about my feelings, and inclined to explain at length. I also pick broad-minded broads, who themselves understand being experimental or that people can go in phases. Look at the admitted bisexuals who marry one or the other. That requires the spouse to trust that one's head isn't being turned by the other sex, that "happily married" discludes the possibility that one is only half-fulfilled. These are important considerations for a permanent partner to deal with. I can fully understand people who stay mum about a side of their sexuality given how their partner may think. As to advice I won't say to tell or not to tell, it's up to individuals to decide what's right in their case.

    I just suggest that all the things I brought up be borne in mind.

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