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Thread: What Urologist said - and now how to talk to wife about the problem - HELP PLS

  1. #1

    Default What Urologist said - and now how to talk to wife about the problem - HELP PLS

    In another post about results from the urologist I was told not to let the doctor talk me into anything - especially any surgery without getting a second opion. I am not going to let the doctor talk me into anything meds or otherwise usless i have a long talk with my GP at a min.
    The idea of having to go to the bathroom every two hours is bad. Normally I go when I first get up (generally between 230 and 330 am - wake up due to having to go pee), I go again before I go to work. Then normally I go at 11 or 12 before I go for a walk. The thing is every two hours. Hell my problem is I am CFO and get working on a project or am in meetings and having to try to keep to that schedule is going to be bad. Somedays I could keep to that but most days probably not. Personally I will give it a good try but I am not going to stop wearing a diaper just in case I dont make it or am leaking. I hate wet pants at work. So far wearing a diaper and plastic pants has not caused me any problems. Yes the diaper is wet and somedays fairly soaked before I get home. I do carry diapers in my briefcase. The thing is I really do not want to have to change at work. I just feel uncomfortable doing that. I do not think that anyone has noticed the diaper that I am wearing. If it does happen I have at least gone to the doctor and found out what is going on. No solution to the problem yet but that protects me just incase someone does notice.

    I know I am going to have to tell my mate about what is going on. My mate pays all the bills including my credit card bill and I am sure she will notice the Urologist charge. I am the one that picks up the mail so when it comes in I am going to talk to her then. I have been reluctant to talk to her about this. It is so damn strange. I do have problems in getting an erection. Lucky for me she also has problems and brought up the fact that she found having sexual intercourse to be painful. I then told her about me having erection problems and that I had been worried how she would react to me telling her. We have been married for over 25 years and yes sex is not not part of our lives but hell there is lots more to a relationship than the sex. What is strange is that I actually feel more embaressed about this incontinence issue than when I told her about the other problem. I did not have any mental issues with the erection thing - and no the doctor say no way I should do any drugs to help with the erection issue. I guess that it is that I just feel old. Now why I did not feel this way when the erection thing happen I do not know. The incontinence thing however really is bumming me out - hell I am only 65 and yet sure as hell do not feel 65.

    I know that she will respond in a loving manner and mainly want to know that the doctor said and what he suggest doing about the problem. I know she will ask how I have been dealing with the problem in the past. However the biggest thing she will ask is why did I not tell her. The answer to that is I was just to damn embaressed.

    No she does not know anything about me using diapers for fun in the past. I have been so super careful in that.

    I have been wearing the diaper under my pants at home for the last couple of weeks and lucky for me but they do not make any noise or show. At night I have also slept in them but the way I have dealt with that was to just wear my underwear over them. The other thing I have done at home is to just wear the thinest diaper (pull-up) and put a pad in it. That does seem to keep me for accidently having my pants get wet.

    The thing that I would so like to resolve is the issue of broken sleep. Hell going to bed between 9 and 10 pm and then waking at 230 to 330 am sucks. It could be that once I talk to her about what is going on she will be the one to say something like well that explains your lousy sleep patterns. Still I am not looking forward to the conversation with her about the problem.

  2. #2


    You are very lucky to have a loving mate. I earnestly hope that things go well when you tell her about your urological problems.

    I appreciate that you may be reluctant to follow this suggestion, but one of the most straightforward ways of handling your problem with interrupted sleep is to wear and use a diaper at night instead of getting out of bed.

  3. #3


    I do think that me telling her will not be an issue. The only real thing I guess I worry about is her being really pissed off that I did not tell her about the problem or that I was going to see the urologist. The reason that I did not mention any of this before was worry that she might know about my diaper playing prior to the visit to the doctor. That could cause her to doubt what I am saying. I do not think that is the case and if she does mention that, then I will tell her that the problem has been going on for quite awhile.

    That ofcourse leads to why did you not tell me. The reason that I have no mentioned the problem before is:
    1. I figured at first that the problem was due to me playing with diaper (sure not going to say that to her).
    2. I was reluctant to go to the doctor and figured it would go away or that I just needed to pay more attention and go more often. Lots of times I get concentrating on what I do that I leave it to long.
    3. I wanted to get all the facts before I discused the problem with her.
    4. I did not want to worry her untill i had the results. What if the urologist had found bladder cancer or some other horrible problem. He did not find anything wrong with my bladder or the urethra or my prostate and that should make her feel lots better. She does worry about things lots more than I do. My approach in life is fix the things you can, adjust to the things you can not fix, and if the thing is way outside you ablilty to change stop leave it to hell alone (ie politics or world conditions).

    I do think that once I find the right diaper to use at night that I will sleep better. I have gotten samples and the ones that I have the most hope for are the Tena Slip Maxi and the PLAIN WHITE Bambino. No way I can get the onces with prints on them at this time. That may come later but not going to go down that road yet (ie the ones with baby or cute things printed on them). I think that things will go ok but only time will tell.

  4. #4


    I wear the Tena Slip Maxi's for daytime. But I did wear them overnight with plastic pants with no leaks. But you will need plastic pants for overnight.
    I myself wear Dependeco AIO's for overnight. During the day I get 6 to 7 hours out of a tena. I'll average 5 small wettings in that time frame.
    I'm glad for you now that got your results that you can discuss this your wife.

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