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Thread: problem!!

  1. #1

    Default problem!!

    heya guys i have a problem i like diaper's of-course that why im here lol but my wife don't no and i'm not sure she is gonna like it. I'm a furry too and she wasn't to impressed about that when i told her i think is ok with that now well i think but this might just push it a bit far i don't want to loose her well cus i love her of-course what shud i do guys ??

    also i want to buy some diaper's and be diapered but kind can't
    Last edited by babyblood; 10-Nov-2013 at 04:46.

  2. #2

    Default

    This looks like your first post on adisc scarleach, so welcome! We are a support site and will do what we can to help you with your problem. This is a recurring problem amongst some members and the best advice is to talk to your wife. You know her better than any of us. I can tell you that f she was unhappy with you being a furry, she will probably not like your dl side either. What's your fursona btw?

    Also, please tell us more about your non-dl interests so we can het to know you better and give you better advice.

  3. #3

    Default

    my fursona s a anthro caracal ill get a pic up havent done much on the back story on him yet or what kinda person still working on that

  4. #4
    CrinklySiren

    Default

    honestly, you are young. If being yourself is going to be a big problem i would suggest just communicating with her, but in the end its not worth suppressing your happiness because of someone who is unaccepting simply for reasons of not understanding. I dont mean to sound harsh but being someone who was married at 18 and has dealt with COUNTLESS amounts of fights and arguments and discussions and debates... Honestly, i consider myself at least somewhat lucky that my wife decided to look past the petty differences and see the love we share, to this day she still doesnt understand my ABDLness but she accepts it... but let me tell you right now that communication and understanding and acceptance IS KEY, especially since you are married. Don't be afraid to talk to her and stand up for yourself because a problem i see among a lot of married couples these days is that the man is afraid to "defy" his wife, when a marriage is the bond of equality between two people, not a contract of servitude. I dont mean to sound mean, but thats the way things are these days and its totally wrong. If she still has a problem with your harmeless fetishs/hobbies then its time to reconsider your future because no one should live in a relationship where they feel trapped. I did that for too long and made the mistake of staying quiet and i was miserable for a long time, and I came VERY close to getting divorced multiple times. Just letting you know that whatever you decide to do, it wont be easy, but in the end it will be worth it... whether you lose her or end up fighting for a few years, in the end there will be either understanding or freedom, and you have to remember that your happiness is important too.

    This is also assuming you are being equal on your part as well, if you are taking care of her needs as well as your own then discussion about such matters is warranted, but if not then you might want to consider making sure her needs are met as well... and remember that marriage is about 4 key elements:

    Honesty, Communication, Sex and Coexistence. If those 4 things arent in harmony then there are going to be problems. Dont keep secrets, always talk about what needs to be talked about, and learn to live with eachothers fun quirks and annoying quirks. I say sex because people often forget to realize that sex is an important part of any relationship and sometimes it can be the only thing that can cause damage in a marriage. We are sexual creatures and as a married couple its important to fulfill sexual desires of both parties involved.

    Sorry if this got long, but having dealt with being married and having a wife who didnt accept me at first, i just wanted to leave this advice because life is too short to not be yourself and also you are young. But a little more background info would help in giving advice, this is just basic advice... I dont know how long you've been married nor what kind of person your wife is, but assuming she is a rational individual (and you are too) this advice should come in handy.

  5. #5

    Default

    I second this!!!! Good advise and I hope you really think about what is said here.






    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklyEmilyLG View Post
    honestly, you are young. If being yourself is going to be a big problem i would suggest just communicating with her, but in the end its not worth suppressing your happiness because of someone who is unaccepting simply for reasons of not understanding. I dont mean to sound harsh but being someone who was married at 18 and has dealt with COUNTLESS amounts of fights and arguments and discussions and debates... Honestly, i consider myself at least somewhat lucky that my wife decided to look past the petty differences and see the love we share, to this day she still doesnt understand my ABDLness but she accepts it... but let me tell you right now that communication and understanding and acceptance IS KEY, especially since you are married. Don't be afraid to talk to her and stand up for yourself because a problem i see among a lot of married couples these days is that the man is afraid to "defy" his wife, when a marriage is the bond of equality between two people, not a contract of servitude. I dont mean to sound mean, but thats the way things are these days and its totally wrong. If she still has a problem with your harmeless fetishs/hobbies then its time to reconsider your future because no one should live in a relationship where they feel trapped. I did that for too long and made the mistake of staying quiet and i was miserable for a long time, and I came VERY close to getting divorced multiple times. Just letting you know that whatever you decide to do, it wont be easy, but in the end it will be worth it... whether you lose her or end up fighting for a few years, in the end there will be either understanding or freedom, and you have to remember that your happiness is important too.

    This is also assuming you are being equal on your part as well, if you are taking care of her needs as well as your own then discussion about such matters is warranted, but if not then you might want to consider making sure her needs are met as well... and remember that marriage is about 4 key elements:

    Honesty, Communication, Sex and Coexistence. If those 4 things arent in harmony then there are going to be problems. Dont keep secrets, always talk about what needs to be talked about, and learn to live with eachothers fun quirks and annoying quirks. I say sex because people often forget to realize that sex is an important part of any relationship and sometimes it can be the only thing that can cause damage in a marriage. We are sexual creatures and as a married couple its important to fulfill sexual desires of both parties involved.

    Sorry if this got long, but having dealt with being married and having a wife who didnt accept me at first, i just wanted to leave this advice because life is too short to not be yourself and also you are young. But a little more background info would help in giving advice, this is just basic advice... I dont know how long you've been married nor what kind of person your wife is, but assuming she is a rational individual (and you are too) this advice should come in handy.

  6. #6

  7. #7

    Default

    Yea I wouldn't get married unless the she knew everything about me, my furry needs, my dl/at(adult toddler) needs. etc
    They are an important part of me that gives me a sliver of will to keep living, not being able to do them as much as I would like to pretty much is killing me.

  8. #8

    Default

    Yep.... That's a huge thing. I told my spouse a month or two after we started dating and spending the night together. She accepted me and it but still used it against me. scarleach, needs to come clean in fairness.




    [QUOTE=AEsahaettr;1124565]I'd like to know why this wasn't aired before getting married.[/QUOTE

  9. #9

    Default

    Well I'm trying to understand why you kept this hidden from her till now of course.I mean I'm sure you had your reasons for not telling her before you got married.I mean she married you probably thinking she knew you very well and to find out she doesn't know you as well as she thinks she does it'd be a shocking thing but a key part of any and all relationships is trust and honesty and the longer you hide it the harder it'll be to tell her

  10. #10

    Default

    Every time I read one of these threads, my Hypocrite Detector goes berserk. I know from past discussions that there are folks here who actually have discussed this stuff with spouses and significant others, but it's hard to shake the feeling that most of the folks who say "you should have told her long ago," or "why didn't you tell?" either haven't been in a similar situation or would be too scared to take their own advice if they were.

    This may come off a bit mean, but I would suggest that the non-married, non-dating, non-"out" folks spare us their advice on this particular topic unless it's something more analytical than "you should have told."

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