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Thread: ever want to

  1. #1
    skyfoxpup

    Default ever want to

    has anyone ever just wanted to hit the closest person in your vicinity. Its not my fault just lately i am getting mad really easy. The slights thing sets me off any help?

  2. #2

    Default

    I've never wanted to hit the closest person (I mean unless they were being total dicks, and I still probably wouldn't hit them even if I wanted to), but I've wanted to hit something before. I have a short fuse so I can get angry fairly quickly, though social interaction helps as I sort of have to forget (I don't want to take it out on someone else and make them feel shitty) and calm down. Stress balls are nice, you can chuck them, squeeze them to death, whatever to get the anger out.

  3. #3

    Default

    I frequently feel this when I'm talking to someone extremely important or elderly. No malice, I'm just intensely curious what would happen.

  4. #4

    Default

    I've been under a lot of stress lately due to my job. My main problem when it comes to anger is that I've gotta fuse that's about 18,000 miles long. Stuff just keeps on building up and up, and when it finally does come out, it is almost always at the wrong person or people. Lately my stress has just piled on more and more that it feels like I've accumulated a few tons of dynamite. Just need that one person with matches to get her going. Which hopefully doesn't occur, but it feels inevitable.

    I know, not exactly helpful, but you did ask, and I answered honestly. :P

    - - - Updated - - -

    I've been under a lot of stress lately due to my job. My main problem when it comes to anger is that I've gotta fuse that's about 18,000 miles long. Stuff just keeps on building up and up, and when it finally does come out, it is almost always at the wrong person or people. Lately my stress has just piled on more and more that it feels like I've accumulated a few tons of dynamite. Just need that one person with matches to get her going. Which hopefully doesn't occur, but it feels inevitable.

    I know, not exactly helpful, but you did ask, and I answered honestly. :P

  5. #5

    Default

    This could have a physical cause, or an emotional one.

    Physically? Check out your blood sugar. Low blood sugar makes people volatile and SUPER cranky. Do you feel better when you eat or drink something? If so, you'll need to change your diet to avoid blood sugar highs and lows. (That means: eat protein with every carb or starch, and eat fewer simple starches like sugar or things made with white flour.)

    If you have any mental illnesses or if you are on any psych drug, you need to contact your therapist/psychiatrist. If your meds have gone off for some reason, or if your MI is worsening, it can do all kinds of things to you. Also, otherwise, if you just started taking a new drug (any drug) at the time this started, then contact the doctor who gave it to you.

    It's also worthwhile to make sure that you are exercising regularly, at a decent/moderate intensity. Yes, really! We all need to burn off energy in a productive way, and exercise is really good for you neurologically too.

    Other than physical causes, violent impulses are frequently based in anger that is not being seen, understood, or channeled properly. So...

    See if you are feeling frustrated or helpless in any major area of your life. Work, family, career, future, relationships. That is a powerful source of inner conflict and anger, but letting it express itself as violence or irritability with people you know is not going to help anything. If there's a problem that's weighing you down, see if you can fix it instead of letting it stew and get worse.

    Also, consider if there's anything that bothers you about the people/person you want to punch. Maybe "I want to give you a knuckle sandwich" is the only way you know how to say "Please leave me alone/back off/stop doing these annoying things."

    Personally, I find myself with violent impulses when people are invading my boundaries or ignoring my requests and I feel that I can't do anything to stop them. In other words, "They're treating me badly and I have to just sit here and take it" = "I want to punch them in the face." As soon as I realize that and figure out what I need, then I can just speak up and say "No, really, STOP doing that, or I am leaving because you won't respect my needs" ... and poof, no more anger.

    Once you have figured out the underlying cause, start deciding how to fix it. And it's all up from there.

  6. #6
    skyfoxpup

    Default

    its just can't stand receptive noises or people that sing maby it is just people in genral

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by skyfoxpup View Post
    its just can't stand receptive noises or people that sing maby it is just people in genral
    Oh, that sounds like sensory defensiveness. That's where loud sounds, sudden noises, bright glaring lights, strong smells, weird textures -- can kind of crash your brain. And then because your brain is crashing, you get angry or hostile or have meltdowns, basically "Anything that will make this noise/smell/whatever STOP!!"

    Sensory defensiveness is common with people on the Autism Spectrum, and also with neurotypical (not autistic) people that just have sensitive nervous systems. These are called "Highly Sensitive Persons," or HSPs. It isn't a "diagnosis" or anything, it just means you are more sensitive to your environment. (Like me! I'm a HSP! And loud noises also make me crazy! And scented laundry soaps! And air fresheners! And smoke! And people who make annoying noises!! And people who stand too close or touch me without me initiating it!!!)

    Fortunately there are different ways to try and cope with this, once you know what it is. You can do a google search on "coping with sensory defensiveness" Probably the simplest thing is, when you're feeling this urge to act out, try to figure out what's annoying you, and then tell the person "Hey, please stop doing that, it's really bothering me." And if they don't (or if you don't want to/can't say anything) then simply leave the area, or put on headphones, earplugs, etc. so you don't have to listen to it.

    If I don't shield myself from sensory input when I'm feeling meltdown-y, I usually end up really sick with a migraine. So I keep some hearing protectors and sunglasses nearby anytime I'm out of the house.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by AEsahaettr View Post
    I frequently feel this when I'm talking to someone extremely important or elderly. No malice, I'm just intensely curious what would happen.
    Oh, I'd hit you back (fitting the elderly category) and I'd do it because I don't fit the extremely important category, so my feelings would have been hurt.

    More seriously, I don't have these feelings in general. You have to cross my emotional line, which is done by showing extreme disrespect, basically being an ass-hole.

  9. #9

    Default

    in a world where we in big cities (not i) increasingly live on top of each other pretty much without choice, quite literally nut-to-butt in some parts of the world. where ones personal-space is increasingly defined by quality of their ear-buds. where our children are most often taught conflict-resolution in the home by parents who's best example is ignoring one-another, and worst example is all too often a frightening shouting match that can end in physical violence without warning....

    is it all that surprising that anger-management should be an increasing problem for people in modern times.
    we as a culture, as a species, have come up with many answers for why this person has such a time dealing with it and that fellow over there does not. but in my short 59 years what i have noted is that the percentage of folks around me displaying this problem seems to advance with population density. both in number and in severity of condition.....

    i myself use dark glasses and soft music to calm my sensitive nerves. and it seem to me that anyone finding themselves in a situation where they start feeling over-stimulated or even moved to violent thoughts should probably look around them selves and ask a few simple questions. am i the only one that this is happening to? is what ever is triggering me, something that is "my-trigger". and therefor will end if i simply extract myself from the situation that i am in. in effect, is it bothering anyone else, or is it just me?

    there is never a reason to "just hit someone". violence doesn't fix anything.
    besides that, if it is my "trigger", then i must learn to be responsible for that trigger. i must learn to deal with it in some fashion, or extract myself from any environment in which in can not seem to deal.

  10. #10

    Default

    Yes and no, for me it's weird. I've gotten better at handling it more or maybe just the fact that I'm not around much of anyone anymore but for me I used to get so upset I took it out on myself like for instance sometimes going to certain public places where there's to many people or so much going on and it gets really annoying I've dug my nails into my skin because idk it was so annoying when something was bothering me and then it can be like little stuff for me like yesterday something on the neck of my shirt felt very scratchy and my mom was in the process of makin supper for my family and the pots and pans were loud as she was moving them around(not her fault) and also my family was there and people were talking so all of that together made me feel very annoyed and like I was gonna snap but I had to stop what I was doin and fix whatever was wrong and try again. It usually doesn't last and you just can't let it get to the point of feelin like your gonna hit someone or freak out and instead go to a secluded area relax for a minute or two then start over.

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