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Thread: Who we are, what we are like

  1. #1

    Default Who we are, what we are like

    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam."
    -- Popeye the Sailor

    "We're not who we are."
    X-Files,season one, "Ice"

    Well, I am prone to speculate/observe things about the abdl community at large, and about the Adisc community in particular. Adult Baby seens as appropriate a place as any to discuss the community in general.

    So there I was, in my usual chair in my usual mood, replying to an intro post. I wrote

    Yeah. You know, thinking about it, it occurs to me that having our preoccupation the way we do, it being so rare ( relatively speaking) and such cause for being private and discrete, and the related feelings so intense, all these things that we share as abdl people lead us toward a really far-reaching acceptance of each other. Honestly, think about it. Sexual orientation. Gender. Gender roles. Political leaning. Education. Religion. All of the sort of things that people define themselves by, seem to me, according to my own experience , treated as secondary to what unites us. It really is a huge part of our identity.

    Ever notice, also, that we are, as a group, really self-aware, from all the self-examination and introspection we do? Yeah, we range in intelligence from minimal to extreme, but whatever our IQ's happen to be, we all tend to be rather philosophical? Hmmm. Inclusive, non-judgmental, accepting, non-bigoted... trends among the padded people.

    Now, I could be mistaken.

    Wiki affirms the meaning of Confirmation bias as

    Confirmation bias (also called confirmatory bias or myside bias) is a tendency of people to favor information that confirms their beliefs or hypotheses
    I dunno, but I would love to hear all your views. Are we the egalitarian, inclusive group I make out? Do I suffer from Confirmation bias? I really welcome what you have to say, good, bad or indifferent. One of the two quotes at the top must apply, but which one?

    The unexamined life is not worth living
    - Socrates
    Last edited by Raccoon; 31-Oct-2013 at 06:55.

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    I agree fully. Then again, it's hard to be a hypocrite when you are an ABDL. After all "These are just perverts and weirdo's" is a hard statement to get yourself to believe when you are doing the exact same thing. Then again... a lot of people somehow manage just that. It seems to me if you are going to be off the mainstream you have to be non judgemental, saying It's adorable for me to wear diapers, but it's amazingly perverted for someone to LIKE being tied up...just logically doesn't fly. And being off the main stream means we must spend time examining ourselves to gain self acceptance, and in the even we need to confide in someone.

    (That said I have see a lot of people do a lot of hypocrisy, though it was very illogical. )

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    Well speaking as one who use to search for information to disprove that it's actually possible to be a AB/DL I certainly don't believe you have confirmation bias because at one point I believed it was impossible but the more I looked the more truth I actually found that it is very possible.So to me the Popeye quote applies because I'm a AB/DL and always have been even when I when I couldn't admit it I was what I was and that was a AB/DL

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    Raccoon, you sir are absolutely correct. We are a rather inclusive group.
    Though, (this is affected by my recent ponderings) maybe it is because we have found inner peace with ourselves? Many of us have accepted who we are, and feel like acceptance is the only way to happiness. Therefore, if someone expresses something that makes them "happy" we are slow to judge because we know what the judgement feels like. We are all, in a sense, outcasts of society (CuriousOne put it as "off the mainstream") and we know how damaging it can be to a person to feel like they are unaccepted.

    -Raccoon, I don't know if you're actually a "sir" or not. Sorry if you're not!
    Last edited by TARDISchaser; 31-Oct-2013 at 15:42. Reason: Bad gender pronouns

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by Raccoon View Post
    I dunno, but I would love to hear all your views. Are we the egalitarian, inclusive group I make out? Do I suffer from Confirmation bias? I really welcome what you have to say, good, bad or indifferent. One of the two quotes at the top must apply, but which one?

    Our natural tendency to be included in "the group" allows us to put blinders on to our personal realities, thus we deny ourselves, condemn ourselves, and form a very strong and negative viewpoint of ourselves because we defered to what "the group" decided to be correct social behavior. Being an ABDL is a perfect example because society has deemed that wearing a diaper is for babies, old people, and those who have a real medical necessity leaving no other option. What does the personal declaration, "I love wearing diapers" serve? How do we internalize that thought and weigh it against how others will perceive us? This explains the classic binge/purge cycle may ABDLs experience. For many ABDLs the personal torture of feeling wrong is the lack of true expression of the self, of which is ultimately what constructs your reality. I love to wear diapers, and that is the reality of it. Whether or not society, or friends, or family agrees with my actions, and whether or not I condemn myself for liking to wear diapers, the reality still remains the same: I love to wear diapers. That little acceptance of myself makes diapers a whole lot more fun.

    That being said, it is important to understand that there are people of varying degrees of personal acceptance for being an ABDL. Some are living very happy lives because they don't deny their own reality, and there are those who make themselves suffer, and others generally, just because they don't like the undeniable reality that they like to wear diapers. Mathematically speaking your are suffering from Confirmation Bias because as humans we are the varibale X raised to the Nth power; therefore, each and everyone of us has the ability to act in any given way, at any given moment, for any given reason.

    The egalitarian approach may be explained by the fact that people who come to these types of forums are here to be positive and gain a broader understanding of what it is that we are and what we do. For years we have been trying to connect with each other so we didn't feel so alone with our desires. Those who like to stir up the trouble in places like this are probably summarily dismissed or don't bother because they know they would be kicked out anyway.

    The fact of the matter is this, the ABDL community is made up of a wide variety of people. I do believe that most ABDLs are nicer to each other because it would be very hypocritical to condemn someone who does mostly of what you do anyway. Ya know, throwing stones in glass houses. On the other hand you must realize that ABDL itself signifies an emotional immature state known as being a Baby. I remember some serious flame wars on some older forums years ago, and one day I just had to say that I thought they were acting like a bunch of babies. Most people laughed and saw the irony, but the people with an attitude just wanted to have an attitude.

    I don't mean to be negative and so one-sided toward your question, but I am positive you are operating under Confirmation Bias. The fortunate part is that you are able to control your reality and have only positive experiences with people in the community. This is probably a reflection on how you perceive yourself and your affinity for diapers and/or ABDL stuff. The more comfortable you are and the more you reach out to others like you, the more positive you get in return. This is the reflection of your own reality, of which is naturally going to contain a bias approach. Nothing wrong with that either, by the way, because it is allowing you to see, feel, and experience the ABDL community in the most positive light.

    Those are some of my thoughts,

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