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Thread: What now?

  1. #1

    Default What now?

    I apologize in advance if this is a little long, or not done properly, this will be my first post aside from my introduction so bear with me! ^_^ I am new at accepting the AB inside myself, and I'm a little lost. I figured if I put my story up here, maybe some of you nice people can help me figure out what steps I need to take to actually live my fantasy.

    My entire life, I pretty much knew I liked baby things. I still sucked my thumb, and I would keep water bottles with a sucking type top so that I could put milk in it. When I was alone, I would still play with all my old toys and babydolls, and I still watched cartoons every chance I got. I even used to take some of my nieces pull-ups and tear the sides and put it in my underwear so it felt like I was wearing a diaper.

    My family is extremely judgemental, about everything. Once when my sister caught me sucking my thumb in my sleep, she actually woke me up to give me a lecture about how she thought I gave that up when I was five, and that I need to grow up. I thought there was something wrong with me, I was mad at myself for wanting to be a baby. I didn't know that their were other people interested in baby things until I was seventeen.

    I was watching CSI with my mom when the King Baby episode came on, and then I didn't feel quite as alone, but then I had to deal with everyone in the house talking about how sick and disgusting it was, and I got really ashamed of myself. I started to look it up, and have been interested in it ever since, but I hid it from everyone and tried to repress it mentally because I didn't think anyone I knew would understand.

    My boyfriend and I are getting really serious, and we were talking about moving in together, so I decided I had to tell him. As the first person I ever told, he surprised me. He had never really thought about it before, but not only was he okay with it, he wants to participate. His reaction made it easier to tell a couple of my other close friends, and they're all surprisingly comfortable with it.

    So here I am, FINALLY feeling like I can be myself. Now I'm a little lost. I don't know where to begin. Or even what to call myself... I just got a new job, so I'll be able to buy the bottle and binkie that I want, but beyond that I don't know what to do. Any suggestions on just getting started?

  2. #2

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    Hi and welcome!
    Excited to hear about some of your past and the things going on in your life.

    My suggestions would be to start slow. Do one thing at a time, then try combinations. Also, try things alone first before with your special friend.
    It is more fun this way because you are still learning about what you like. I am a long time thumb sucker too, so I imagined a lot of things, but some of my reactions were different once I actually tried it. Plus, since your past feelings of these likings have been linked with embarrassment and shame, you will be experiencing a variety of emotions the first time. From experience, things have always gone more smoothly when I tried it alone before with my husband. Then I could kind of talk him through some things before we tried them together. My little side is not very talkative so he tends to find her quite frustrating because he's not sure what I want when I'm little.

    Now for the fun! As a fellow sucker, I thought I'd hate having a pacifier but it is wonderful! Esp, for when cuddling. Sometimes he will want both if your arms around him and he can enjoy a full embrace while you still satisfy your sucking. Bottles are nice, but bottle feedings can be intimate, so you may not want to make it your first together activity. Try something you would normally do but slightly altered. Maybe watching a movie together but you're wearing a diaper?

    Have fun and glad you're here! Xo

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by BebbyDoll View Post
    Hi and welcome!
    Excited to hear about some of your past and the things going on in your life.

    My suggestions would be to start slow. Do one thing at a time, then try combinations. Also, try things alone first before with your special friend.
    It is more fun this way because you are still learning about what you like. I am a long time thumb sucker too, so I imagined a lot of things, but some of my reactions were different once I actually tried it. Plus, since your past feelings of these likings have been linked with embarrassment and shame, you will be experiencing a variety of emotions the first time. From experience, things have always gone more smoothly when I tried it alone before with my husband. Then I could kind of talk him through some things before we tried them together. My little side is not very talkative so he tends to find her quite frustrating because he's not sure what I want when I'm little.

    Now for the fun! As a fellow sucker, I thought I'd hate having a pacifier but it is wonderful! Esp, for when cuddling. Sometimes he will want both if your arms around him and he can enjoy a full embrace while you still satisfy your sucking. Bottles are nice, but bottle feedings can be intimate, so you may not want to make it your first together activity. Try something you would normally do but slightly altered. Maybe watching a movie together but you're wearing a diaper?

    Have fun and glad you're here! Xo
    Thank you, those are all awesome ideas. I am really really excited about the binky, I haven't even gotten my first paycheck yet, but I am going to get one when I do ^_^

  4. #4

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    Welcome to Adisc. I'm sorry you have had such opposition from your family, even when they probably don't know the entirety of it. My parents are really discouraging of it too. I hope you can find a way to not judge your family too much over it, it is hard to be upset with family over them not understanding you.
    From what it sounds like to me though, is that you have excellent support now that you have been able to successfully open up to your boyfriend, congrats on that.

  5. #5

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    Very good advise from Mylo. You might also introduce a plushie. My wife bought me mine and I always sleep with them. She pats them on their heads and plays along. They like to dance, so if she's watching Dancing With the Stars, Maf-Maf and Fluppy are likely to dance along. They're very good dancers, much better than me.

  6. #6

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    Oh wow, new job, moving in with the boyfriend, moving out, these are all big steps

    If I were in your shoes I would want to watch all the abdl documentaries you can, to get ideas, especially to get a good idea of stuff you AREN'T into. I thought 15 stone babies was actually pretty good. Naturally you must be interested in ab fiction, as it also will inspire you.

    I would suggest getting a couple of towels to practice cloth-diapering with. Large safety pins can be found at craft stores, dollar stores, and on kilts at thrift shops like Value Village or Goodwill. Now I happen to like the look and feel of cloth , and using plastic pants, you may or may not. I firmly believe cloth diapering is a worthwhile skill to have. For one thing, it is waaay cheaper than disposables, especially premium ones like Bambinos or Fabines. For another thing if you know what you are doing with cloth diapers you can never totally run out of padding A third reason is that it is slower and more intimate if your caretaker-boyfriend is changing you.

    You'll want some decent plastic pants probably, many a thread in Diaper Talk discusses the relative merits of different brands and vendors. I couldn't even guess what would suit you best, but clear ones so you can see baby print cloth diapers through them seem a good bet, or ones with baby prints maybe. Medical supply stores will have a tiny range and not great prices: you will want to get prepaid credit cards if you don't have a major (Visa/Mastercard) yet, so you can shop online, where selection and price are better.

    Last bit of advice for right now, is DO get yourself some decent disposables, treat yourself. I know Depends or Walgreens Generics are easy to buy and fairly cheap, but once you try the good stuff you will know why people pay the extra. Life is too short for bad diapers. Do watch clearance bins for deals (like on opened packages) and check the thrift stores for disposables. They get them occasionally. Check out Adisc;s free samples thread in Diaper Talk.

    Experiment. You may prefer cloth or plastic-backed, Goodnight types, or proper adult ones. I am rather picky and I get ones I prefer but I don't go through all that many. Your needs will differ I expect. If you do get an idea what you would like, post threads in Diaper Talk for advice.

    Good luck and may the force be with you.

  7. #7

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    Tyger, thank you. It was extremely difficult to open up to him, but I've realized that opening up to him has helped me open up to myself more as well. I am starting to become more and more comfortable with myself and my little self.

    Dogboy, I actually already have quite a few stuffies. That's one thing my parents couldn't take away from me. I still have multiple that I've had since I actually was a baby, and my favorite one is actually brand new. His name is Leo and he's a lion who is almost as big as I am. My boyfriend bought him for me a couple months ago, the last time that I was in the hospital. I think he's my favorite because he's so big! He makes me feel so small, and for once, that's a good thing for me.

    Raccoon, thank you so very much! I am taking a lot of big steps lately, if those plans aren't big enough, I'm also going to college this fall. I watched the 15 Stone Babies like you suggested and I loved it, it almost made me cry! Do you have any other suggestions on documentaries that would be good to watch? Beyond that I just wanted to say I really really appreciate all your advice and input, and I will definitely do what I can along those lines. ^_^

  8. #8

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    A book was mentioned by someone here which I found very helpful in understanding myself as AB. It is written to help your boyfriend understand you and know how to join and help you. I suggest the two of you read it together.
    It is available on Amazon, and is titled "There's a Baby in my Bed!". I wish I had it long ago.
    Good luck.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueGrey View Post
    A book was mentioned by someone here which I found very helpful in understanding myself as AB. It is written to help your boyfriend understand you and know how to join and help you. I suggest the two of you read it together.
    It is available on Amazon, and is titled "There's a Baby in my Bed!". I wish I had it long ago.
    Good luck.
    Thank you so much, that sounds like a great idea, and I love to read, so I'm sure I will enjoy it. I will definitely try to get it

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mylo View Post
    So here I am, FINALLY feeling like I can be myself. Now I'm a little lost. I don't know where to begin. Or even what to call myself... I just got a new job, so I'll be able to buy the bottle and binkie that I want, but beyond that I don't know what to do. Any suggestions on just getting started?
    This may sound oversimplified, but since you have come out to your bf and he is accepting, I think it is time for you to be yourself. Sure, simple answer right? But now that the walls have come down you are free to fully express yourself.

    This is an excellent opportunity for the two of you to come closer. I have suggested this to someone else here, and that is, this is an excellent opportunity for you to get him to open up to you. In our society men have a difficult time expressing themselves, but you obviously have a man who is accepting and open-minded. Now that you showed your vulnerable side, this would be an excellent time for you to reassure him that he can do the same. You could do this by asking him how he might see some scenario playing out, or what he likes most about the ABDL stuff and then play up to that for a while.

    Also, perhaps you should clearly define for both him and you what you want out of this and how you see things and how much you want him to be part of it. Reinforce the idea that because you two are in a relationship that the ABDL thing is no longer just yours but rather now it falls into the category of 'ours'. And because things are that way now, here is what you want, and then ask him what he wants out of it. Giving yourselves clearly defined roles, boundaries, and most importantly, expectations will help both of you hit the ground running.

    Life is way to short to get caught up in the mire of inhibition. Let the expression of the self begin...and enjoy!!

    all the best luck
    dprluv

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