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Thread: lil bit of a problem

  1. #1

    Default lil bit of a problem

    so i've gotten a 'hall pass' from my girlfriend, just because i have been feeling like the whole relationship with her is just a best friendship thing, and when i say hall pass i dont straight away refer to sex from another, i mean just to feel what its like to be single again (2 and a half year relationship). lately i've been very bi curious, and want to experiment. Though, obviously i wouldnt cheat on maddy, that has never entered my mind. this whole hall pass was discussed last night, and after talking to her about how i've been feeling she told me she had felt the same way in the past but moved on from it. I also felt like all the guilt was gone away and that I didnt want to do this whole thing. Though, just making sure, we decided to do it for a month (apart from a movie that we have both been dying to see next week). I havent talked to her all day today as it has officially started (its 9:20pm in melbourne) but now i'm feeling different.

    1. Should I tell her that I want to experiment? because i feel like as soon as I do this, then it wont enter my mind again.


    2. What if i discover i dont want to be in a relationship anymore..


  2. #2


    1) If you tell her you want to experiment, she may see that as her own invitation to experiment as well, probably with another guy. Are you prepared for that? Also, in my experience, once couples start seeing other people for whatever reason, that usually starts the end of the relationship (the old "let's just be friends" quote).

    2) What if she discovers she doesn't want a relationship with you anymore? In your statement, you said she had thought of that earlier but shrugged it off. Time apart will let you both think about the relationship, the good and the bad parts. Are you ready for that?

    I don't mean to bring you down but sometimes time apart doesn't always make the heart grow fonder. Then again, sometimes when you see the other side of the fence, you appreciate what you have. I'm glad you set a one month time period. That will give a definitive end to the trial period. If you had just said "Let's spend some time apart" then it could go on forever. Good luck and keep us posted!

  3. #3


    Taking advantage of a "hall pass" or just even having one has never ended well in my experience. If you and she want to be together give up the hall pass and go back to being with her.

  4. #4


    OP, you're still young... and i gather that your SO is also young.. i feel like neither of you are sure of what you guys want and I would suggest just keeping it simple. I mean i know its going to sound cliche but you guys dont necessarily know the full extent of who you are, and by that I mean that you dont fully know everything about you and she doesn't fully know everything about herself. If you want to be with her, be with her but be clear on it and ask her to be clear too, because at that age the most common thing being told to me was "i dont know what I want". However, if you decide to take this "hall pass" to experiment and you end up liking it, just go for it... it might sound cruel but she agreed to this and so did you, and if you end up discovering something new about yourself then take advantage of being young and single and have fun... I bet you've probably heard this before but being where I am now and knowing what I know now, I may not regret anything but I would have liked to do more than I did and discover more than I did because maybe had I let myself discover myself more, I wouldn't be dealing with certain things now >_< lol... You're too young to be thinking about long term relationships and hall passes... just sayin.

    If you happen to discover that you dont wanna be in a relationship with her anymore, simply don't get back together. Will it hurt her? Maybe, but she will move on.

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